I’m in heaven! I tell myself as I go to kiss the beautiful girl in front of me for the multiple time that morning, never tiring of the sparks it causes in my body, I swear it feels amazing! I run my hands through her long dark curls, as she gently touches my face….tingles spread all over me from the contact….
Then a familiar voice suddenly interrupts my thoughts “L..Lo..Logan?” a voice I recognise as Lilah stutters.
*Oh shit! My brain trying to process what to say…. This could be awkward, I thought I’d have chance to explain to her what happened………… I didn’t know she’d walk in on us……………….. *
* …..wait, her fucking parents were meant to stop her so this didn’t happen! I think angrily, then I see the shock onher face… Oh fuck! Oh fuck!! Oh fuck!!........ I’m fucked!*
“ Lilah, I can explain!” I say, gently lifting Anya off my lap and stepping toward Lilah. Anya looks dejectedly at me.
* oh man, don’t start!* I think, so gently shake my head at her and mutter “ I need to do this Ani” *and hope to the goddess she has the decency to understand how hard this must be on Lilah.*
Lilah looked up at me as I stood, and quite honestly she looked broken *has she figured out what has happened this morning?* I wonder to myself, *how can fate be this fucked up? I love this girl in front of me, I think I always have………..I was so sure she was mine………..I felt like crying.*
“I..I..I need to go” Lilah said as she started to walk out of the now almost empty room, everyone who had been here must have realised the awkwardness of what the situation would become and left when they saw Lilah.* I couldn’t let her leave…………*
*You need to speak to her Logan……*I tell myself, so I quickly grab her hand and take her to one of the offices nearby, the closest conveniently being her Dad’s, the Beta office.
* Least I know it will be empty I think to myself *seeing as he is at home, supposedly helping me out by delaying her getting here to give me a chance to fucking speak to her to avoid this shit show happening! *
*Some help he’d been! Maybe I couldn’t blame this all on him, I had gotten distracted…*. I could feel Lilah resist my hold on her hand,* I didn’t like that, she’s never done that before………..she’s always loved me holding her hand, saying it made her feel safe and loved……*
“Lilah please….” I said as we sat down on the small leather sofa inside of the office to the side of the main desk and chairs. This room almost a carbon copy of my father’s own office.
“Please what Logan? I can’t do this……..” she sobbed as she broke down in a flood of tears. I instantly knelt in front of her and wrapped my arms around her and found myself sobbing a little too…..
* This is my girl, the girl I thought would be my mate, the girl I’d opened up to, the girl everyone said would be my mate, how could we all be so fucking wrong?! *
The thoughts inside my head made me want to scream, *how can this have happened? Yet it seemed fate had another plan, and our closeness was likely to never be the same again… no, it never could, be the same again.
I can’t do this either….. *I sighed.
We both held each other for a few minutes, both sobbing together. But I had to pull myself together…. …… we have to talk about this ………I got to do this for her………. For us………… we got to address this…………we have to talk about this………….my thoughts were like an internal battle with my emotions.
But I knew we couldn’t carry on like this anymore. My mate, not the one I expected but still my mate…… the one fated to me was waiting for me out in the lounge. I looked to Lilah, her beautiful aqua eyes now red and bloodshot from crying, her beautiful face forlorn with hurt and upset…..
I hated myself, I hated fate………..I still want her my mind battled no, there isn’t the mate link there like the unexpected one I found just an hour ago with Anya, but we have a connection……….we have a link………we have so much more………… we have a love for each other that went deeper…………… how can we throw that away?!
Lilah’s beautiful eyes gazed into my own teary grey eyes, her eyes I had never tired of looking into, her gaze usually able to give me goosebumps and make me smile, but today there was no smile, just pain “she’s the one, isn’t she?” she gasped in a sob “ she’s your mate isn’t she?”
I slowly nodded as she burst into a fresh flood of tears, and I instinctively pulled her close again as she sobbed into my chest…………this was torture……………