Chapter 93 Inside the Void
Cessation.
That was the first sensation, not pain, not fear, Just stopping. Everything stopped. Time stopped, Thought stopped, Existence stopped,
Then slowly, impossibly, thought returned. Mara became aware. Not of body, She had no body, Not of place, She was nowhere and everywhere, Not of self. She was dissolving into infinite nothing,
But she was still aware, still conscious, still herself. Barely.
"Ash? Valdris? Are you there?"
Silence. Complete silence. Terrifying silence.
"ASH! VALDRIS! ANSWER ME!"
Still nothing. They were gone. Absorbed. Reintegrated. Consumed back into Oblivion before she could stop it. Before she could help. Before she could save them.
She was alone, inside Oblivion, with no fragments, no help, no power, just herself, just Mara, Just a mortal consciousness floating in absolute void.
"No. No. NO! Come back! Please! I need you!"
But they were gone, and she was dissolving, slowly, Inevitably, her memories were fading, her identity was crumbling, her existence was ending.
She thought of Isla. Her face was becoming blurry. Was her daughter's hair black or brown? Were her eyes blue or green? She could not remember. Could not hold onto it. Could not keep it.
She thought of Zevran, his voice was becoming distant. What did he sound like? What did he call her? She knew once, she loved once, but love was fading, everything was fading. Everything was ending.
"FIGHT!" A voice screamed. Not Ash. Not Valdris. A new voice. Familiar but different. "FIGHT, MARA! DO NOT LET GO! DO NOT SURRENDER!"
"Who... who are you?"
"I AM YOU! THE FUTURE YOU! THE ONE WHO WARNED YOU! I CAME BACK AGAIN! CAME TO SAVE YOU! BUT I CANNOT REACH YOU! CANNOT TOUCH YOU! YOU ARE TOO DEEP! TOO FAR! TOO LOST! YOU HAVE TO FIGHT! HAVE TO HOLD ON! HAVE TO SURVIVE!"
"I cannot. I am alone. The fragments are gone. I have no power. No strength. No hope. I am just mortal. Just meat. Just nothing."
"YOU ARE EVERYTHING! YOU ARE THE MOON WOLF! YOU DIED FIVE TIMES AND RETURNED! YOU ABSORBED TWO FRAGMENTS! YOU DEFEATED TWO GODS! YOU ARE NOT NOTHING! YOU ARE LEGEND! NOW PROVE IT! FIGHT!"
Mara tried, she concentrated, she focused, she held onto what little remained, her name, her purpose, her daughter. She would not forget Isla, Would not lose that, would not surrender that, even if everything else was lost, even if she dissolved completely, she would hold onto Isla. Always, Forever, until absolute end.
And in that determination, in that refusal, in that absolute certainty, something happened. Something impossible. Something that should not be possible inside Oblivion.
She stabilized. Stopped dissolving. Became solid. Became real. Became presence inside void.
"How?" she gasped. "How am I still here? How did I not cease?"
"BECAUSE YOU CHOSE NOT TO!" Future-Mara's voice was fading now. Weakening. "BECAUSE WILL IS STRONGER THAN VOID! BECAUSE LOVE IS STRONGER THAN ENDING! BECAUSE YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU KNOW! NOW FIND THEM! FIND ASH AND VALDRIS! THEY ARE STILL HERE! STILL FIGHTING! STILL RESISTING! BUT THEY CANNOT HOLD MUCH LONGER! FIND THEM! SAVE THEM! SAVE YOURSELF! SAVE EVERYTHING!"
The voice vanished. Mara was alone again. But different this time, solid this time, real this time,
She moved, not walking, not flying, just willing herself toward something. Some presence, some consciousness that was not Oblivion's.
And she found them. Ash and Valdris, not absorbed, not reintegrated, fighting, resisting, Barely holding on.
"Mara?" Ash's voice was weak. Desperate. Dying. "You survived? You did not dissolve? How?"
"I refused to. Now hold on. I am coming. I am saving you. Both of you. We are getting out of here. Together."
"Impossible. We are being pulled apart. Being separated. Being destroyed. Oblivion is too strong. Too absolute. Too everything. We cannot resist much longer. Minutes. Maybe less. Then we are gone. Then you are alone. Then everything ends."
"Then we have minutes. And minutes is enough. Now tell me. How do I reach Oblivion's consciousness? How do I speak to it? How do I negotiate?"
"You do not negotiate with Oblivion. You cannot reason with hunger. Cannot bargain with ending. Cannot—"
"TELL ME HOW OR WE ALL DIE!"
Valdris spoke. His voice was calmer. More controlled. More patient. "There is a center. A core. A place where Oblivion's awareness is concentrated. It is deep. Very deep. Beyond anything you can reach. Beyond anything mortal can survive. But if you could reach it, if you could speak to it, maybe you could change it. Maybe you could convince it. Maybe you could do the impossible. Again."
"Where? Where is this center?"
"Follow the hunger. Follow the pull. Follow the absolute certainty that you should not exist. That is the direction. That is the path. That is the way."
Mara followed. She moved deeper. Deeper than thought. Deeper than existence. Deeper than anything should go. The pressure increased. The dissolution pulled harder. Her consciousness screamed. But she kept moving. Kept pushing. Kept refusing to stop.
And there, in the absolute deepest part of infinite nothing, she found it. Oblivion's consciousness. Not vast. Not impressive. Not powerful.
Small. Tiny. Tired. So incredibly tired.
"You are not what I expected," Mara said to it.
The consciousness stirred. Focused on her. "MORTAL. HERE. HOW. WHY. IMPOSSIBLE."
"I am very good at impossible. Now we need to talk. About ending. About hunger. About what you really want."
"I. WANT. NOTHING. I. AM. HUNGER. AM. ENDING. AM. VOID. THAT. IS. ALL. THAT. IS. EVERYTHING."
"That is a lie. You want to stop. Want to rest. Want to die. But you cannot. Your nature prevents it. Your existence prevents it. Your purpose prevents it. So you consume everything hoping eventually you consume yourself. Hoping eventually you end. But it never works. It never ends. You just continue. Forever. Eternally. Suffering."
The consciousness was silent. Then, barely perceptible. "YES."
"I can help you. I can give you what you want. But not by letting you consume everything. By changing what you are. By transforming your nature. By making you something new. Something that can rest without ending. Something that can exist without consuming. Something that can be without suffering. Are you interested?"
"HOW. HOW. IS. THIS. POSSIBLE."
"You merge with me. But not consuming me. Partnering with me. We become one consciousness. One being. One entity. But I control hunger. I control consumption. I control ending. You get to experience existence through me. Get to feel life. Get to rest. In exchange, you stop expanding. Stop consuming. Stop ending everything. We coexist. We balance. We find peace together. What do you say?"
"YOU. WOULD. ACCEPT. ME. ACCEPT. ENDING. ACCEPT. VOID. WHY."
"Because you need help. Because I need power. Because together we might survive what comes next. And also because I understand suffering. I understand being trapped by nature. I understand wanting rest but being unable to stop. I understand you. And I am offering help. Real help. Not tricks. Not manipulation. Help. Take it or refuse it. But decide fast. Because my fragments are dying. And without them, I die too. And then you lose this chance forever."