He helped

"I want to talk about you and Sera"

I didn't fail to see him flinch but he still didn't dare to turn, different from his usual self he acted as if he wasn't interested.

He asked" What about us?" Is he really going to act this way? Tch it somehow made me annoyed because he is acting like this was never his fault, I at least thought I'd find him guilty but not uncaring as he is now and it is very disappointing. Was I really wrong about him and how he felt about her, was what Sera said true but if it was then he wouldn't be acting this way towards me.

"The two of you had a fight remember? Are you really going to let her suffer and not try to fix things? Or maybe what she was saying was the truth?" Asking these questions earned me a promising reaction.

"No it's not true...but what can I do? Do I... even deserve to try again? Do I even deserve her?" Good at least he does care so there's still hope, I've never seen - while I can't see his face since his back is facing us but I've never heard him this vulnerable. I now feel like an idiot thinking he was a happy easy going person when I know that people may smile while their hearts bleed. I've worn a fake smile too many times, well at least that mask that he created played its role since I never saw past it but now it seems to have cracked and backfired on him.

"Do you even deserve her you ask? I can't answer that question and it isn't fair for you to decide for her. She should be the one to answer it because only she knows what she deserves " my words didn't seem to get through him as he firmly shook his head " I know that I am not perfect, not enough, undeserving and she wouldn't want a broken thing like me! S-she? She deserves to be happy and with someone who'll be able to protect and love her... and me? I can't even love myself " I don't know where the strength came from that made me not cry because of the things he said, a lot of people are going through something or have been going through something for a long time. I can't help everyone but I have to now begin being more mindful of those I care about, those that are around me.

" I'm sorry...I'm really sorry Jacob" right after I said those words he slumped to the ground hugging his knees while he rocked back and forth. That is a big sign of trauma, I sighed not really knowing what to do while hearing him mutter over and over again " I'm okay. I'm fine. It'll be fine if I smile. I'm okay. I'm fine. It'll be fine if I smile. I'm okay. I'm fine. It'll be fine if I smile. I'm okay. I'm fine. It'll be fine if I smile. I'm okay. I'm fine. It'll be fine if I smile. I'm okay. I'm fine. It'll be fine if I smile. I'm fine. I'm okay. It'll be fine if I smile. I'm fine. I'm okay. It'll be fine if I smile. I'm fine. I'm okay. It'll be fine if I smile. I'm fine. I'm okay. It'll be fine if I smile. I'm fine. I'm okay. It'll be fine if I smile."

He stopped at the eleventh time and raised his head a little and said" Dintle can you do me a favor?" His voice was shaky, the emotions overwhelming it. "yeah...anything" a small silence followed and I nervously waited to hear what he wanted me to do for him. "Sera. Please tell her I'm sorry" my mouth hung open as I saw how severe the damage is but it can't be that it's not repairable. Disappointment was written on my face , brought down by what I'm seeing"I can't, I wish I could but Sera is not talking to me either".

My words made him laugh a little , a laugh with no emotion "I see. So you thought I could help you?" It's natural for him to think like that, it looked more like if the things between me and Sera were okay I would've never cared to be here which isn't true. I also care for him as a friend who has helped a lot. "No that's not why I'm here. Even though I've already apologized to her and it looks like she won't ever forgive me I still want to help her be happy and I believe she can with you"I'm slowly running out of words to encourage him and I hope he believes me because I'm really not here to selfishly force my way back to Sera. At the end of the day what matters is her happiness.

Again he shook his head and I felt overwhelmed by helplessness"I'm sorry but I can't bear to be given another chance that I might ruin, I might ruin her again just like I have done right now" I sighed and was about to turn around and leave but someone next to me finally spoke " so your fear of messing up will allow you to watch her drown from loneliness, pain and anger because whether you like it or not you existed in her life and left a mark that no matter how hard she tries she will never be able to burry. She had no one here but you and Dintle. She feels betrayed by a friend I'd say she loved and you staying here refusing to mend things is making her believe her feelings more. So tell me is that fair? Since you know that you aren't deserving then it means you know what she deserves which others might not. Don't you think you owe it to her, to show her what she deserves and it'll be her who'll decide in the end"

"...!"

Ahem wow I didn't think he'd involve himself or even say this much and some of the words he said felt like they had a double meaning that he and Jacob knew. I'm more surprised at how quickly he caught up cause I didn't tell him about what happened between them and myself, and just by being on a sideline for a few minutes of observing he was able to grasp everything. It also seems that his words managed to reach him as Jacob finally got back to his feet. I really can't believe it but he helped.