Father wasn’t at home when I got in. in our lonely empty, crammed room, I dropped on the floor and wept bitterly for my life while I relived my agony in jail and this past few days.
When I heard a shuffling walker close by, I wiped my tears and perked up hastily so as not to give him the room to chastise me for losing a job.
He halted at the door upon gazing on me. I could perceive the suspicion and confusion which beclouded his wrinkled face.
“You are not supposed to be at home by this time, Brian. I thought you told me a driver’s job which you secured today. “His gloomy brooding eyes shot at me, “What happened?”
I swallowed hard and felt my heartbeat pound over the innumerable bad news in my life. That driver’s job was supposed to put smiles on his face and pay our bills. I had told him the salary and I could recall his excitement over the phone. Maybe I was too quick to dispense news of a job I wasn’t too sure of. Sometimes I felt I should be blamed for all the pitfalls in my life.
“I lost it.” I sniffed and thought I promised myself not to weep anymore, “I…I …I lost it as soon as I got it,” I elucidated.
“What do you mean you lost it as soon as you got it? Is that supposed to be a joke or what? Nothing happens without a cause. You must have shown them the beast in you before they sacked you…”
I flare-up, “What beast father what beast? I got excited over a job and resumed duty only to be invited over to the office about a complaint by a passenger…” My voice died out as I broke down in tears.
“What complaint Brian? Did you steal the passenger’s money as you did at Morgan Group?”
I stood up furiously, “Far be it that I do that! What do you take me for father?” My hands trembled radically by my side as I shut my eyes and stared at the ceiling.
“Do you want to hit me, uh? You were involved in a fifteen billion dollars financial fraud at Morgan Group. Everyone believes you stole that money which you can’t prove otherwise. Now how am I not sure you stole from a passenger…”
I squealed at him, “I didn’t steal from a passenger. The passenger only reported that I am an ex convict and the company lost trust in me. That is all…” weeping sucked away my tone and left me sobbing without end.
“We are saying the same thing, maestro. Nobody would want to work with an ex convict, especially one who bears Brian Patrick. That name breathes failure.” Father advanced to my side, looked me in the face and said, “You don’t deserve to be out of jail. You should have remained in jail, and save humanity this misfortune.” He gestured at me
I interposed, “You have always told me that I am a bastard without an identity, also that you picked me from the street where I was wandering…”
“Yes, and I regret doing that. Associating with you has brought me nothing but pain, failure and sorrow. Your going to prison made me lose my job and become destitute. Nobody wanted to mingle with the father of a criminal. The news was making the round. Your mother got devastated and broke down with a kidney disease. I wonder why you are back in our miserable lives…”
“Because I am your son,” I interrupted through clenched teeth, as we pulled up face-to face now.
He shook his head Abruptly , “No you are not my son. You are a bastard. And it would be in your best interest to find your true identity. I don’t know who you are. I saw a kid wandering on the street of Rio Hondo. I had pity on him and adopted him. But little did I know I was adopting my poverty and failure.”
“I am not responsible for your poverty. Perhaps if you had left me to keep wandering on the street, I would have found my true identity.”
A slap!
“This is the second time you are raising your hands against me, father,” I wailed as my trembling hands nursed my cheeks.
“And I will do it over and over again until you disappear from our lives,” he replied as his eyes wobbled angrily at me
I threw away my gaze and started walking away but there was no stopping father…
“What makes you feel your true identity is better off than who you are now?”
“With time you would know father,” I replied and left him cackling mockingly at me. “It may not be all rosy with me now because I just left prison. But I promise you as soon as I get a job everything will be fine and I will change this horrible identity.”
“I am disappointed in you. My sick wife is disappointed in you. The society is disappointed in you. You are full of rejection because you lost our trust. What other job do you think could be better than the one you lost at Morgan Group? Your former boss Morgan Harris testified at the court that you are a criminal in the disguise of a saint. You are a cast away…”
I shouted at the tops of my voice, “I am not a criminal. I never stole the alleged fifteen billion dollars. Why would you all believe an allegation by a greedy boss like Morgan Harris? He only used me to get richer. I am innocent,” my voice shrieked.
“Oh cut the crap! Every criminal is a saint. You can’t get a job from a society that has lost trust in you. If I were you I would have refused to return to the society when I was granted release.”
I sniffed. At the time my eyes were burning with warm tears that yearned for peace within me. I could end it all now by taking my life. I was jaded already.
“If the society rejects me, are you also going to reject me?” I queried, locked eyes with him and wept on.
“I rejected you from the moment you got involved in a financial fraud that rubbed my name in the mud. I rejected you a long time ago. If you don’t know, know it now. Read my lips, Brian. I reject you!” he uttered with a contemptuous expression and poked into my face, “And I believe the society did same.”
I sobbed, and covered my teary face with my hands.