Chapter 44 Lighter
KARA’S POV
His words settle somewhere deep inside my chest, heavy and warm at the same time. The wind moves across the shore, carrying the scent of salt and damp sand. The ocean stretches endlessly in front of us, dark and restless beneath the growing night. For a moment, neither of us speaks, but my mind refuses to stay quiet. Images I never meant to remember rise to the surface. A woman laughing beside him at a charity gala, another one leaning closer to him during a business party as her hand rested too comfortably on his arm. Different faces, different nights, and different women who looked like they belonged beside a man like Finnian.
My fingers tighten around the can of orange juice in my hand. If he’s choosing honesty tonight, then maybe I should be brave enough to hear it.
“So…” My voice comes out quieter than I expect.
Finnian turns his head slightly toward me.
“There were others.”
It isn’t exactly a question, but the meaning hangs there. The ocean fills the silence for a moment and he doesn’t answer immediately. Instead, he exhales slowly, the sound almost lost beneath the rush of the waves. His gaze drifts back toward the water like he’s measuring something inside his own thoughts.
“Yeah.” Finally, he nods. The honesty of it lands harder than if he had tried to deny it.
I nod once, even though a small ache spreads inside my chest.
“I saw you before,” I admit softly. “With different women.”
He glances at me again, studying my face carefully.
“How many?”
“Enough to notice.” I shrug lightly, pretending it doesn’t matter as much as it does.
A faint, humorless smile touches his lips.
“That’s fair.”
The wind moves through his hair, pushing a few dark strands across his forehead. He doesn’t bother fixing it.
“I’m not going to lie to you, Kara,” he says after a moment. “There were women before you.”
My stomach tightens, but I keep my eyes on the horizon.
“The casual ones weren’t serious,” he continues.
“What does casual mean in your world?” I turn to him.
He leans his elbows against his knees, staring down at the sand between his shoes.
“Dates, events, and sometimes just company.”
“Convenient,” I murmur.
“Something like that.”
The quiet stretches again before he says a name.
“Nikki.”
My gaze sharpens.
“She’s one of the ones you probably saw,” he explains. “We went out a few times.”
“How many?”
“Maybe four months.”
“And that was it?”
“That was it.”
“No drama?” I watch him carefully.
“No heartbreak,” he answers.
I take another sip of the juice, but the sweetness suddenly feels too sharp on my tongue.
“What about the serious one?”
The question slips out before I can stop it. This time, Finnian doesn’t answer right away. He lifts the beer can and takes a slow drink, his jaw tightening slightly like he’s deciding how much truth to give me.
“Lindsey,” he says finally.
The name settles between us.
“That was real,” he adds quietly.
“How real?” I stare at him.
“Two years.”
“That’s… not small.” My brows lift.
“No,” he agrees.
The wind blows harder for a second, pushing the waves further onto the shore before they retreat again.
“So what happened?” I ask.
His expression shifts slightly. Not regret exactly, but something close to it.
“We wanted different futures.”
“That sounds like a polite breakup story.”
“Maybe it is.” A faint laugh escapes him.
Then he grows serious again.
“But it’s the truth.” He runs a hand slowly across the back of his neck.
“She wanted something predictable, structured, and planned years ahead.”
“And you didn’t?”
“I didn’t want to feel like my life was a business contract.”
“And now?” I look at him.
“Now I want something real.” His eyes meet mine in the dim light.
The quiet after that sentence feels louder than the ocean. He shifts slightly on the sand, his shoulder brushing closer to mine for just a second before he leans back again, careful to keep the small space between us.
“I buried that part of my life a long time ago,” he continues quietly.
“Buried?”
“It’s over,” he says firmly. “Completely.”
I studied his face and saw no hesitation there and no shadow of the past lingering behind his eyes. Then he says something that makes my heart skip.
“You’re the only woman I want now.”
“What?” I look at him fully.
“Kara,” he says softly, “this thing I’m doing with you…” He shakes his head slightly, almost amused with himself. “I’ve never done this before.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean I’ve never actually courted someone.”
“You’re joking.” I blink.
“I’m not.”
“You expect me to believe that a man like you has never pursued a woman properly?” I stare at him, trying to decide if he’s serious.
“Not like this.”
“How did it usually happen then?”
“People expected things. Relationships happened because they were convenient.” He shrugs.
“And with me?”
“With you…” He exhales slowly, “…I can’t just drag you into what I want.”
A small smile pulls at my lips.
“That’s true.”
“And I’ve noticed something lately.”
“What?”
“Your walls are getting higher, and it’s very hard for me to climb.”
“They are not.” I freeze.
He raises a brow.
“Kara.”
I sigh and drop my gaze.
“Maybe a little.”
“Maybe?”
“Fine,” I mutter. “Yes.”
He chuckles softly, but there’s no mockery in it. “But I understand why,” he says gently.
“Do you?”
“Yes.”
I look at him again.
“You’re protecting yourself,” he continues.
“Wouldn’t you?”
“Yes,” he answers immediately. The certainty in his voice catches me off guard.
“And that’s why I’m still here,” he adds quietly.
The sincerity in his tone sinks deep into my chest. The waves continue their steady rhythm, but something inside me has shifted. The tension I carried all day loosens slowly, like a knot finally beginning to untangle. We sit there longer than I realize, neither of us rushing the silence. Eventually, Finnian stands and brushes the sand from his trousers.
“Come on,” he says, extending his hand toward me. “It’s getting late.”
I look at his hand for a second before placing mine in it. His fingers close around mine gently, warmly, and steadily. We walk back toward the resort together as the lights grow brighter with every step. And for once, my mind feels quieter.