Chapter 86

Chapter 86
Jordan's POV

I can't move at first.

Kaelen is standing right there in the middle of our dorm room, looking like he stepped out of every desperate dream I have had these past several days. The light from the window hits him at an angle, catching the exhaustion still etched under his eyes and the careful way he holds his body, one hand lightly pressed to his side. He seems a little smaller than I remember, a little more fragile, but it's him-- solid, breathing and right here in front of me.

My throat tightens so sharply I almost can't speak.

"Hey, J," he says, his voice low and a little rough, like it hasn't had much use lately.

That's all it takes. I cross the room without thinking. Kaelen meets me halfway. The moment we collide, his arms come around me slow and careful. I wrap mine around him tightly, burying my face in the warm curve of his neck. He smells like hospital soap but I don't care. I breathe him in like I have been drowning and he is the first real air I have found.

"I'm sorry," I whisper against his skin. "I'm so fucking sorry about Vince. I never thought he would--"

"Stop." Kaelen's voice cracks. One of his hands slides slowly up my back, his fingers curling into my shirt. "You have nothing to apologize for. Not for that. None of this was your fault." He exhales shakily against my ear. "I'm the one who is sorry, J. I failed to fight harder for you. I was scared of coming out, scared of what it would mean for my family... I pushed you away because I convinced myself that losing you was better than watching them destroy you too. I thought I was protecting you. I was wrong because... I hurt you instead."

I pull back just enough to look at him, my hands cradling his face. His eyes are glassy. For a long moment, I don't know what to say. All the nights I spent convinced I wasn't enough for him rise up, choking me.

"I spent months believing I would never been enough for you," I admit, my voice thick. "That if I was, you would have chosen me sooner. That maybe I was just a phase you would eventually outgrow."

Kaelen's face crumples. He shakes his head, pulling me closer again. "You were never just a phase. You are the best thing that's ever happened to me. I was just too much of a coward to show the world."

We sink down onto the edge of his bed together, still holding each other's hands.

"I kept thinking about you in that hospital room," he says after a while, his voice low. "Every time I woke up, I wondered if you hated me. If I had ruined the best thing I ever had."

"I could never hate you," I whisper. "I was just... hurt and scared you would pick them over me again."

"I know." His thumb traces slow circles on my hand. "I don't blame you for thinking that. I gave you every reason to."

We sit there for a long time. Tears come, mine, then his. It's messy and quietly beautiful at the same time.

"How did you even get out?" I ask eventually, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Lucas helped me," he says, the corner of his mouth lifting in a tired but genuine smile. "The doctor cleared me for discharge this morning. Before my parents could come and take me home, Lucas snuck in and got me out. I came straight here because I didn't want to waste another minute without seeing you."

The relief that washes through me is so strong that my knees feel weak. "You escaped the hospital... for me?"

He leans into my touch, his eyes never leaving mine. Then slowly, he pulls back and lowers himself down on one knee right there beside his bed and pulls out a ring. My heart stutters.

"Kae... what are you doing?"

"This isn't an engagement ring. I'm not asking you to marry me," he says. "I'm asking you to believe me when I say I'm done running. Whatever comes next... I choose you."

"Jordan Summers, will you be my boyfriend?" he asks, voice steady but thick with emotion. "Officially. Publicly. Wholly. Because, J, you never deserved to be a secret. If you will have me again, I'll make sure I never fuck up ever again. I wanna commit to you... just you."

He places the ring into my hand. I take it, my fingers trembling. I turn it over, my thumb brushing the smooth surface until tiny engraved letters catch my eye.No more space.

The words hit me so hard I stop breathing. Every mile, every misunderstanding, every silence and every time we stood on opposite sides of something neither of us knew how to cross. All of it comes rushing back. My vision blurs before I even realize I'm crying.

I drop to my knees too, cupping his face with both hands. "Yes," I breathe, my voice breaking. "God, yes. I'm yours, Kae. I have always been yours."

Relief and joy flood his expression. We crash together in a kiss, desperate, relieved, full of promise. When we finally pull apart and back on the bed, the weight of everything still waiting for us creeps back in.

"How are you going to deal with your parents?" I ask quietly, my fingers still tracing his jaw. "They are going to figure out where you are sooner or later."

He exhales slowly, his hand resting on my waist. "I'm actually making it up as I go right now."

The honesty in his voice makes my heart ache. I search his face. "How can I help?"

"Just be here," he says, so simply that it steals my breath.

When he tells me about his father's threats to take him away, I find myself holding on to him tighter. Now that I know how it feels like to not have him, I'd rather not find out how it feels losing him for good.

At one point, my fingers drift to the hem of his hoodie. "Can I...?"

He nods. I lift it carefully, revealing the healing scar on his side. My breath catches. I trace it gently with my fingertips, feeling the raised line where the bullet tore through him. He shivers under my touch but doesn't pull away.

"I was so scared I would never get to do this again," I whisper.

"I was scared I'd never get to feel it," he replies softly.

Eventually, exhaustion wins. His head drops to my shoulder, his body relaxing against mine as his breathing evens out. He is still tired from everything his body went through. I wrap my arm around him holding him close, and press a kiss to the top of his head.

For the first time in weeks, the room feels like home again. Not because all our problems have disappeared, but because we are finally facing them together.

"I love you," I whisper into his hair, even though he is already asleep.