It’s the frantic pushing against me from my luna that brings me quickly from my bliss to the hardened reality that I live. Sex has never been normal for my luna. She has refused from the moment she left Fire Moon pack to talk about what she went through there.
It was two years after we moved her into the pack house that I was able to confirm what I already suspected, that she had indeed been sexually abused. You would have never noticed her strange behavior as it only occurred around men. How quiet and timid she got when in a room full of men versus the friendly, happy young lady she was in mixed company.
The worst was when she was alone with me. She was terrified. Visibly shaking the entire time she was alone with me yet as soon as I stood anywhere near her she was all over me. Kissing my lips, wrestling my tongue, grinding against my hardness beneath my jeans.
I accepted the make out sessions greedily as my father had suggested right from the beginning that he felt she had endured years of sexual training to prepare her for her mate but discouraged anything further until she was eighteen and she had an opportunity to get away from the abuse.
Even with her being my mate I respected her and my father and I waited for the frantic way she needed to get into my pants to settle down. It was on her eighteenth birthday that dad finally announced that she was my mate, confirming the pack rumors going around as to the reason she was brought back from our trip to Fire Moon. That was also the day he announced the date for our upcoming mate’s union ceremony for next month’s full moon. This gave my mom and her omega helpers a month to prepare for the ceremony, while Lilly and I only had a month to move into a new house outside the pack house or to a couples apartment on the third floor.
It’s after the mate’s union ceremony that the newly mated couples are expected to complete the mating bond, to mark one another while in the throws of hard, passionate sex. Marking one another seconds before you orgasm is supposed to enhance the sexual experience. Something Lily and I have never experienced.
It was that night, while I was hanging out with her in her room that she told me a general idea of what happened to her. How her dad started kissing her like he kissed her step mom at six years old. How every time she was commanded to take her clothes off he would hurt her; either punishing her harshly for refusing or the training itself hurt. Simply put, being naked in the same room as a male was always physically and mentally painful.
It was the only time that I argued fervently with my father. I knew she wasn’t ready to complete the mating bond and I refused to force it on her after she told me what little bit she was willing to tell. It took days of arguing with him before he told me that Alpha Tanner admitted to abusing her and fully understood the situation I was in with Lilly.
While he was steadfast on the ceremony happening, explaining that because she was now eighteen it was necessary to mark her as mine. He also took the time to explain that it was acceptable to hold off on completing the bond as long as we marked each other. That sex was simply the easiest way to handle the marking and that the marking distracts from the pain of the first tie, as all woman, virgins or not, will have mild pain with the first several ties.
I’ve always tried to avoid pinning her down or commanding submission from her since she’s never fully explained to me what happened and dad explained that the most common way to subject a child to such training was to subject them to both.
It’s as her panic attack deepens that I realize how mentally sensitive she really is right now. She’s fighting with everything her five foot eight inch, 120 pound petite frame has but it’s only as she starts lifting herself off the bed trying to shove me off of her that she manages enough strength to pull herself away from me.
I’m horrified when I feel the mating knot move knowing that it’s more than fifty percent completed. Her screams are deafening as the sharp searing pain of the knot tearing into her sensitive flesh hits her seconds after her desperate move. I grab her swinging fists at the wrists as I use my shear size and strength to force her back down, flat on the bed.
She is sobbing hard from the pain and absolutely frantic as she finally starts to speak.
“I can’t do this, Demetri. I can’t handle the tie. Please, I can’t do this.”
She continues her frantic cries trying to fight me but at six foot two inches and 250 pounds I easily overpower her, there’s nothing she can do.
I take control of the situation quickly as I feel the excruciating pain and panic that Lilly is in. I’ve taken her hands and placed them together above her head holding them firmly with my left hand. As she still struggles in my grip I have no choice but to command her.
“Luna Lillian you will submit.”
To my relief it calms her fight the rest of the way. I’ve never commanded submission from her before and I was warned by my dad that doing so could result in a bad fight response instead of actual submission.
Once her body has completely given up all the fight she had I know that I can’t wait any longer to move the tie.
“Lilly baby, I’m sorry but I’m in a really bad spot for this tie to keep going. I have to force it further in, where it was before.”
“No Demetri! Please we need to separate. I can’t do this.”
“I need your trust Lilly. Separating is not an option. The tie is nearly complete and if I don’t move deeper into you this is going to be a potentially dangerous situation for you.”
“I can’t Demetri. Please.”
“Lilly, look at me.”
I finally command her attention completely. She stops moving and opens her eyes. She’s scared and in unbelievable pain that only I can reduce.
“We’re going to mark. A brand new one on the opposite side of the original.”
She gasps at the concept of a second mark but doing so will reduce the pain of breaking the tie loose allowing me to get it properly placed.
Fortunately as a doctor I’ve been exposed to many mates that have encountered a similarly painful situation and know how to get us out of it. I shuffle my legs up to her bottom, spreading them slightly so that she’s forced into an uncomfortably wide position widening her pelvis. I lay over top of her body, bringing her hands down beside her head so she doesn’t feel quite so restrained. She seems grateful when I interlace our fingers as she immediately grabs hold hard as I position myself for the rest of it. I get down as low against her as I can and whisper in her ear.
“Trust me Lilly. Line up your canines for marking on my left side.”
She lifts her head and does as I’ve instructed. I can feel her canines resting near the crook of my neck.
“On three baby. You bite down and you bite hard. You keep your bite hard until the pain inside you dies down.”
“Demetri?”
“No Lilly. There’s no choice on this. One... two.... three”
She does as she’s told, biting down hard on my collar bone as I ram my pelvis into her breaking the tie loose, digging my own canines into her at the same time. Her screams are stifled by her bite as she puts a death grip on both my hands. My hands move with hers as she fails her arms in response to the fight or flight instinct she’s trying to overcome.
I release my canines first, gently licking and sealing the wound from any potential infection as her screams finally quiet to be replaced by sobs. She releases her canines slowly as she’s struggling to fully function after the onslaught of pain she just endured. I keep my head low, tenderly caring for the bite I created with my tongue.
“Let go of my hands sweetie.”
She’s hesitant but lets me free. I immediately slide my hands under her, gently cradling her head in my hands as her hard sobs gradually quiet. I use my link with her to try and determine her pain level. It’s still high but not quite as bad. I move my pelvis gingerly verifying that the tie was completed and in the correct place but doing so results in several frightened yelps from Lilly before she breaks down crying again.
“It’s okay baby. Just checking where I’m at. I’m sorry this has been so rough on you. I had no intention to hurt you like this.”
She shakes her head hard as I lay gentle, chaste kisses along her neck and jaw.
“I was a baby, Demetri.”
She sobs lightly near my ear.
“I was only three when the rogue raped and killed my mom, when he raped me. Six when dad started training me for my partner and ten when he found a way to simulate the mating knot. I wasn’t ready. I was just a baby.”
She breaks down again as I tighten my hold on her. I knew she had it bad but never dared to imagine this possibility with my luna.