“Try to relax with us Cole. Your breathing is still very restricted and the more relaxed you are the easier it will be to move the air you need. I’m going to start with the back of your shirt. It’s loose enough that you shouldn’t feel the scissors just hear them.”
Even the simple task of cutting his shirt to expose his chest is anxiety provoking for him. He squeezes my hand hard as he starts gasping through his mouth. Once she’s done cutting the back off of his shirt I hear her through the pack link.
‘He’s got really bad scarring on his back as well as what appears to be more recent cuts and bruises but it’s difficult to figure out what’s new versus old in this light. Are we doing him by the book?’
‘No. I need to be able to bring him back in six months for the second run if I can’t gain his trust enough for him to talk about the abuse. Only an intolerable offense like stealing, assault, or rape will get him kicked out. Everything else he gets a pass as far as the council is concerned. I’d like to keep him from feeling singled out but if we find injuries consistent with current abuse that’s going to be hard to do. I do however need everything documented. We’re going to keep two separate files on him.’
She stands from her seat and walks over to the cabinet pulling out a small throw blanket. When she returns to the bed she carefully wraps the blanket around the pillow before grabbing the oxygen and placing it back under his nose. He yelps lightly when he first feels the tubing on his face but fortunately he settles down quickly. It’s when we’re ready to move him to his back that we run into a slight problem. The young man is so terrified of having a catheter placed that he’s curled himself into as much of a ball as his body would allow.
“Cole, I need you to relax your legs. Stretch them out for us.”
I speak gently near his ear trying to gain some of his confidence back. He squeezes hard on my hand as he attempts to speak.
“I’m.... sorry..... alpha....”
“There’s nothing to be sorry about, Cole. We just need to get you in a position that allows us to get these stickers on your chest.”
“I’m.... sorry.... I’m..... scared.... I’m..... weak”
“Cole”
I sigh, not certain how to approach this.
“Fear is not a weakness and right now, I would expect any wolf in this situation, including myself, to be afraid. That’s the reason I’m with you right now. It’s important for any wolf to have support when they are having such a difficult time. The biggest thing I need from you, right now, is to trust me. We are telling you what is going to happen before we do it. I really need you to think about it. Outside of using a stethoscope to listen to your heart and lungs or your ear to check your temperature, have we done anything without telling you first?”
Even with his entire body shaking I can feel his grip on my hand relax slightly before he faintly whispers no. I’ve gone back to gently rubbing the back of his head, trying my best to comfort him. I’m struggling to imagine what it is this young man has experienced at his home hospital to have made him so terrified of being here. He truly must be desperate for help to even go there if he’s this fearful and has no support once he’s there.
“Cole.”
It's the first time Lilly has spoken directly to him. I find it surprising when he flinches badly as she touches his knee.
“We understand that you're scared and you’re trying to protect yourself by curling into a ball but it’s important right now that we get your legs relaxed so we can roll you towards your back. While Angela works on your shirt and the stickers I’m going to cover your feet and legs with a heated blanket. Would that help? To be covered?”
He nods his head slowly as he whispers ‘please’.
“Okay. So let’s work on getting you straightened out.”
His grip tightens on my hand again as she gently rubs his legs. Angela starts cutting one of the sleeves of his shirt as Lilly gently encourages him to straighten out his legs.
They finish about the same time with Cole’s shirt falling to one side exposing his chest and abdomen. I watch Lilly close her eyes and silently turn away as she sees the young man’s bare upper body. It’s no longer a question as to if he’s still being abused as angry red cuts and redish purple bruises appear all over his chest. Black and blue bruises litter his abdomen so tightly that it’s difficult to tell where any normal skin is.
‘Is this what you saw on his back’ I link Angela.
‘It’s difficult to tell without more light.’ She responds.
“Cole, I’m not going to report what we do for you medically to the council. It’s rare for me not to do things by the book but I think I’m in a situation with you that warrants giving you this safety net. But in giving you this pass, it’s important that you allow us to treat you properly for the injuries, the issues that we see. By the way your abdomen looks it will likely cause pain but Angela will need to do an exam and ultrasound to verify that you’re not bleeding internally. I have one question about all the bruising and cuts I’m seeing. How old is it?”
“Three” I hear him barely croak out.
“Three days?” He nods his head gently against my arm.
“I’m going to need him to lay completely flat to do an ultrasound on him. We can change his position to something more comfortable for him once I’m done.”
Angela informs us as she finishes turning on the heart monitor. Lilly unplugs and moves the thermal pillow to a chair near the bed as the two of us gently move him to his back. He whimpers lightly during the move but makes no effort to fight this time.
Not knowing how long it will take for Angela to grab the ultrasound machine, Lilly covers his body with the heated blanket before gently touching his cheek. He flinches at her touch but makes no other effort to move away. She leans in, giving me a brief kiss before looking sadly upon Cole.
“Let me know if you need me for anything else. I’m going to head to the kitchen and direct the food prep for lunch. I’ll bring him some chicken soup and some protein shakes for when he feels like eating.”
“Thank you, Lilly.”
I smile gently as I caress her face. She leans into it, closing her eyes, allowing a single tear to drop. Using my thumb, I gently wipe it away. Although I’m unaware of the true extent of the abuse she endured, it has made a lasting impression on her. She has always struggled immensely anytime we have been contacted to take in an abused pup that was abandoned at the local children’s hospital. Finding an adult in this bad of shape that hasn’t already gone rogue or killed their abuser is very rare. Unfortunately they are also the most difficult to help and as vulnerable to death from their abuser as a child.
I stay at the young wolf’s head, gently running my hand through his hair again as I hear the monitoring equipment start picking up the slow rhythm of Cole’s heart. I can’t help but let my thoughts wonder as Cole starts to relax with me. What has he gone through? How did he survive his childhood when he’s being beaten this badly as an adult? How do I gain his trust? I’m surprised but say nothing when he lays his head against my arm, snuggling against me like a pup seeking the comfort of their parents. I slip my hands under the warm blanket he’s covered with as I talk softly near his ear.
“Cole, will you let me hold your hands while Angela does the ultrasound?”
He shifts slightly against my hands as I place them lightly on top of his. Angela returns with the ultrasound machine. She touches his shoulder as she talks.
“Cole, I need you to open your eyes and show me that you are awake enough to understand my instructions.”
He slowly opens his eyes and turns his head to look at her.
“Considering the amount of bruising I’m seeing I don’t think this is going to be a painless procedure but it is a necessary one.”
He nods his head, seeming to recognize the need.
“I need to make certain that you don’t have any ongoing internal bleeding that may require surgery. I am willing to follow what Demetri has said about keeping this out of the council until you’re ready to talk about what happened but that’s conditional.”