“Lilly, can you lay the pillow down where Demetri was laying, raise the rail and plug it in.”
I give her a loving smile as I help her with Angela’s request.
“Cole, if you understand what I’m saying I need you to let go of my hand.”
It doesn’t take long for him to respond, slowly letting go of her hand. I easily notice the tremor in his hand but don’t say anything about it. It’s when she places the stethoscope to his chest that he startles badly enough for him to return to the distressing high pitched whine he’s had most of the morning causing Lilly to cover her ears. Hearing a whine like that triggers memories that she still hasn’t let go of from long ago.
She looks at me with tears in her eyes as I pull her gently into me, holding her head against my chest so she can wrap her arms around me, grasping the back of my shirt into her fists. It’s only a few seconds later that I can hear her through the mind link.
‘That’s why you think he’s been abused.’
‘That’s part of the reason, yes. I’ve never met an adult wolf with that whine that hasn’t been severely abused as a child. The problem is I can’t do anything about it unless he’s still being abused. Damian mentioned that he’s twenty-three which means he has to admit that the abuse is still going on and he has to agree to the protection orders. I can’t just pull him out.’
Lilly loosens her hold on me as his distressing whine dies down. Angela speaks softly to him as she resumes listening to his chest.
“Can you help me roll him back so I can get him laying on the pillow? He seems to prefer being on his stomach over his back.”
I kiss Lily's forehead as she steps away allowing me to approach Cole again.
“Cole. I’m going to have Demetri steady you as you are so I can give you a break from the mask. I need to put the oxygen cannula back on you though. I’d also like to get a heart monitor on you. It’s a handful of special stickers that I need to place on your chest. Good news is we don’t need to attach any wires but I do need you to lay on your back for a few minutes while I place them.”
I can hear him whine in response to the plan.
“What about leaning him against the body pillow instead? Obviously we can’t ask him why being on his back is stressful but he’s been responding very positively to the way we work with him. Leaning him against the pillow will give us the access we need while keeping him comfortable with us.”
Angela nods her head, liking the idea.
“If he’s comfortable enough with it then I’ll grab a second one so he can change positions. It’s not good for him to lay on his arm like this.”
With our new plan for him Lilly unplugs the thermal pillow as Angela raises the rail on the opposite side. They hand it off so it can be placed on the other side as Cole seems to be coming out of the sedation enough to talk. I take the mask off him so it’s easier to understand him.
“Di.... rect .... heat.... hurts.... back”
I’ve pulled up a chair at the head of the bed, placing my arms on either side of him keeping him steady. It surprises me briefly when he blindly manages to grab hold of one hand allowing him to lean a little against it. I use my hand that’s at his back to play with his hair again. Although it took a little time, he seems to be able to relax when I do it.
“Angela, how direct is the heat coming off that pillow? I know he needs the added heat. He’s shaking badly right now and I can’t tell if he’s cold or anxious. I don’t like how cold his skin feels but I think his back might be sensitive to direct heat.”
“The heating pads are in the middle of the pillow so that it can be laid on either side but I’ll turn both of them down a little lower than what I wanted to put them on. I’m also going to cover him with a heated blanket. I kept him with you for two and a half hours hoping to warm him up but he’s dropped his temperature twice since then.”
“How low is he?”
I’m starting to get worried considering how his skin feels.
“About an hour ago he was down to 100 degrees. If he gets below 99 then I’ll have to start warming the IV fluids and start trying to warm him that way. Let’s see if we can get him rolled over onto the pillow. I don’t like the effects this high amount of sedation is having on his heart rate so I want to track it on the monitor.”
“Okay Cole, we’re going to move you to the pillow so we can get these stickers on you.”
I speak softly near his ear but he doesn’t respond, it seems like he’s back to sleep again. As I try to roll him he wakes with a strangled yelp, both of his hands grabbing hold of the hand and arm that I’ve laid across his chest.
“Cole.”
I try to grab his attention but this time he’s frantically trying to get away from me. He’s sedated enough that his eyes are closed, his movements are slow and his fight is weak. Even though he’s easily controlled I don’t like the uncontrollable fear that his body language is communicating to me. His frantic need to pull my arm off of him so he can roll back onto his stomach becomes even more disturbing when he resorts to curling his legs up to his stomach. It’s obvious he’s trying to protect himself, the question is, from what?
Angela and Lilly have taken a few steps away from us, giving me space to work with him without concern he may accidentally hurt them. I use the one thing to get his attention that I can think of. I give two quick, sharp clicks of my tongue near his ear, a technique I have used with many wolves who suffer with anxiety.
Despite the high chance he’s never been introduced to such a technique he reacts exactly as I expected him to. His persistent whine stops and his movements freeze. I can feel his entire body shaking now and it’s without any doubt that he’s terrified of something that has happened consistently in the past, that he firmly believes is getting ready to happen to him now. I pull myself closer to him, holding him tighter as I do. I squeeze his hand gently as I start to talk to him.
“I need you to show me that you understand what I’m saying to you.”
It’s only a few seconds later that I feel the gentle but rhythmic squeeze of his hand on mine.
“Thank you Cole. I can feel your squeeze. Now, I know you’re afraid. When Red General starts monitoring your heart, does something else happen? Do they put more than just the heart monitor stickers on you?”
He nods his head before attempting to speak.
“Heart... monitor.... means.... over… night ....or more... I stay.... tied.... no.... bathroom.... or eating.... just.... tubes... they.... hurt.... Bad....”
I’m speechless as I watch a single tear escape from his eye. I look at Angela before making eye contact with Lilly. They both heard, they both understand what this young man has just said. I sigh lightly as I try to quickly figure out what I could possibly say to reassure this young he-wolf that nothing outside of what we explain to him is going to happen to him.
“Cole, I know this is huge as I’m certain getting this sick so soon in another pack’s territory isn’t common for you. It’s very important that you trust us. I need you to listen and believe what we tell you. I promise you if Angela or I tell you we have no reason to restrain you then we are not going to restrain you. There’s absolutely no reason for us to tie you to the bed and put a catheter or ng-tube inside you. They are uncomfortable procedures that can become quite painful if done incorrectly. I assure you that nothing unnecessary like that is going to happen to you.”
He startles hard when I use my thumb to wipe the tear from his eye, the steady grip on my hand easily conveys the true nature of his fear. Angela steps back over gently touching his arm. She looks at me sadly when he chokes back a yelp, squeezing his legs even tighter against his abs.
“Cole, I’m going to listen to your lungs before we roll you to your back. I do need to get your shirt off of you to get the stickers in the proper place. Are you okay with me cutting it?”
He nods his head slowly as he flinches hard under Angela’s stethoscope.