Chapter 111 Effort

Chapter 111 Effort
He was taking care of me. Not like before with sex, where it had been about making sure I reached my pleasure. That had been great and had told me that he wanted to make sure I was happy. This wasn’t the same. What I saw in his eyes was the kind of caretaking that came with something deeper. This was holding someone’s hair back when they threw up and then cleaning them up after. It was bringing chicken soup and crackers. It was choosing to go to the theater on date night instead of spending the night out with the guys. It was giving up everything for that other person.
I slowly ran the soapy cloth around his side to his back. I swallowed hard around the lump in my throat and moved the washcloth across his broad shoulders. I’d believed his words with my head when he’d said this was real for him, but the last piece of my heart that had been holding back couldn’t stand against the tenderness I saw in those eyes. And I didn’t it want to. I closed my eyes, feeling two tears sliding down my cheeks and mingling with the shower spray. I slowly let out a breath, letting the last of my doubts and fears wash away.
By the time we were finished and drying ourselves off, I felt more at peace than I had in a very long time. At peace, but exhausted. Without a word, Gavin took my hand and led me to his room. He brushed out my hair and braided it, the simplistic style telling me that he’d learned by braiding his daughter’s hair. Another surge of emotion went through me, but I didn’t say anything. It wasn’t the right time. The silence between us was what we needed right now.
He tossed our towels into a hamper and we slid, naked, between the cool, clean sheets. He curled his body around mine and I nestled back against his chest. His arms went around my waist and I put my hands over his, careful not to jostle his wound. His lips pressed against the hollow under my ear and that was the last thing I knew for several hours.



When I woke up, two things struck me almost immediately. The first was that the clock said we’d been asleep for more than three hours. The second was that Gavin was still wrapped around me and was enjoying it. His flesh was slowly hardening against my ass.
I smiled and rolled in his arms so we were almost face-to-face. I still had to tilt my head for our eyes to meet, but it was close enough for him to bend his head and brush his lips across mine. His hands splayed across my bare back.
“Good... afternoon?” he said with a smile. “I trust you slept well.”
“I did.” My own smile faded a bit. “How are you feeling?”
“Better,” he said. “I broke my arm when I was eight trying to show off on my bike. Not even close to as bad as that.” His expression sobered. “What about you?”
“My hand’s aching,” I admitted. “I didn’t realize Howard’s head was that hard, and it probably wasn’t a good idea to do that with the same hand I’d dislocated my thumb on.”
“And... otherwise?”
I gave Gavin a puzzled look. I wasn’t sure what he was asking.
He lifted one hand and gently ran his fingers down the side of my face, then over my arm. “It’s not bothering you, me touching you like this?”
Now I was really confused. “I don’t understand.”
“I know that when someone goes through what you went through with Howard, they don’t want to be touched.”
“He didn’t rape me, Gavin,” I said.
“But he put his hands on you.”
I could hear the anger in Gavin’s voice and a realization hit me. “Is this why we didn’t have sex before?”
“I wanted so badly to make love to you,” he said. His voice was so earnest that it made my heart skip a beat. “But I didn’t think you’d want me that way, not after what had happened. I was even worried about how much I could touch you in the shower.”
That explained why he’d seemed almost hesitant while washing me earlier. I closed the short gap between us even though it meant bending my neck at an almost painful angle to still be able to look at him. I heard his breathing hitch and felt him swell even more.
“Howard did touch me,” I said. “And even though I showered, I can still feel his hands. I need you to chase away those memories.” I slid my arms around his waist and felt the muscles in his back tense. “Please.”
He rolled us over so that he was above me, the majority of his weight balanced on his forearms, his body resting on mine from our bellies down. He leaned down and I could see his arms flexing with the effort of keeping himself in position as he kissed me.
It was slow and sweet, his lips moving with mine, slowly parting, and then the tip of his tongue tracing my bottom lip before darting inside. My tongue moved out to caress his and he made a sound in the back of his throat. His teeth scraped over my bottom lip and it was my turn to moan.
I tilted my head back as his mouth moved from mine down to my jaw. His lips burned a trail down my throat, gentle kisses that were at odds with what I was expecting. I remembered how he’d marked me before, sucking skin into his mouth until the blood rose to the surface. There was none of that this time.