Turned against her

Sitting inside the library, I lifted my eyes to find Eryx leaning against the door, facing the hallway. It had been days since the heat cycle had ended, and with every passing day. Saint lowered his guard a little more. We'd spent every night together, but during the day, he slipped away to do whatever it was that he and his men were working on below, in my father's apartment.

I knew that Saint still planned to move us into my father's rooms, but I had no intention of allowing it to ever happen. I'd seen enough of his quarters to last me a lifetime, and the nightmares of them still haunted me. Bad dreams had woken me again last night, drenched in sweat with sobs escaping my throat. Saint had held me through it, which had pissed me off even more than waking up from the hauntingly painful dream.

Turning the page of my book, I read what Toralei had written between the words. We'd started leaving messages inside books, placing them where they wouldn't draw attention. Picking up the pen, I lifted my gaze to make sure that Eryx continued watching the hall as I jotted down my answer to her plan. The moment he looked over his shoulder, I closed the book. Setting it aside on the coffee table, I stretched out on the sofa I'd pushed in front of the fireplace.

When he turned to check on me, I sat up, sipping my tea. Moving my legs over the edge of the couch, I pushed the blanket off before returning to the shelves. Plucking out another book, I replaced the one we had used for today's messages back onto the shelf where it belonged.

Saint's heady scent of bergamot and sage hit me before he entered the library. Ignoring him, I proceeded to pick out a few volumes of random tomes before carrying them back to the fireplace. He lounged in the chair beside the small sofa, watching as I reclined once more, peering over my stack of books.

"You're early for a booty call," I informed, watching his eyes slide from the flames to hold my glare. "Something happen?"

"No, just wanted to see your smiling face," he admitted, standing to move to where I sat. He picked up my legs, sitting beside me. "The infirmary says it is low of supplies. They mentioned you normally handled ordering the needed medicine and herbal combinations for the pack."

"Indeed," I stated, not bothering to elaborate. "I'm sure you'll manage it.” "You'd let your pack suffer because they hurt your pride?” he asked, leaning his head back to close his eyes.

I studied the stubble on his jawline, tightening my grip on the book as my fingers itched to touch him. He looked exhausted, which I knew was from run- ning ragged to secure what the pack of over one hundred and fifty wolves would need to last through the winter.

"They don't deserve my help, and neither do you, Saint," I replied after a moment had passed. His eyes opened, and he turned, staring at me through narrowed slits that both condemned and studied me.

"They hurt your feelings. Get over it. They're your pack, Brat. They're our pack, and they suffer when we fail to provide for them."

"They are your pack now, and they'll suffer when you fail to provide for them," I corrected, opening the book, pulling my legs away from him. Or at least, I tried to. He held them tightly, running his fingertips between my thighs. “You mixed the herbs, and you are the only person here who knows which of them won't kill people."

"May I suggest you use the assholes in the pack as test subjects when you try your mixture out at first? Trial and error are tricky at best, and more often than not, someone has to be the test-dummy. Best not to put wolfsbane into anything, though, unless you want them to be very sick," I chuckled, knowing I was pissing him off. I was being petty, but neither he nor the pack actually wanted me here anymore.

Saint intended to take my child because I'd heard from enough people in the pack that had started going out of their way to make sure I knew where I stood with them. As far as I was concerned, they could all fuck off and die.

"It snowed outside today," he stated, which made my heart clench.

Rolling my eyes, I wetted my finger to turn the page. He continued staring at me, forcing my gaze to meet his in silent challenge. He reached over, taking the book from me to close it, and set it aside. He lowered his head, kissing the inside of my thigh, and I watched him, closing off my emotions as heat pooled in my center.

"How old were you when you began leading the pack behind your father's back?" He shocked me by asking, causing my eyes to narrow on his dark head. "I have spoken to the alphas, and I admit, I am impressed by you, Brat. You'd stated that you took over, but according to Jim, you began helping with things at the age of eight. You weren't even a teenager, and most eight year olds spend their days chasing butterflies. You provided for an entire pack."

"My father cared little if his people starved or if they got sick through the long winter on the mountain," I admitted, stifling the moan his playful bite forced to my throat. "You could have just asked me, but then you'd have called me a liar, anyway."

"What is in the herbs that you feed the children to stop their aggression?" he continued, pushing his fingers past my panties, sliding one fingertip against my entrance.

"We're in a public place, and Eryx is literally a few feet from us, Saint. Be- have and stop trying to use sex to get your answers. You can figure it out your- self and try that mixture on adults first, so it won't harm the children when you fuck it all up." I snapped, pushing his hand away from my sex that clenched with need.

"Have you been to the infirmary for your test?" he changed tactics. "Our children may need that mixture, considering they'll be stuck with us as parents.” I snorted, watching the smirk that tugged at his lips before he blew a heated breath against my sex. "That's a low blow, Saint."

"Chaos has asked to see you," he announced, watching my face. "He misses you, strangely enough. He insists you raised him and that you're the only one who ever cared enough to tend him when he was little. Did you fall in love with my son, Brat?"

My heart thundered against my ribcage as tears burned my eyes. "That's re- ally low, Saint," I snapped, unable to hide the emotion that made my voice sharp.

"He attacked three kids today because they spoke ill of you."

"Is he okay?" I asked, watching his features smooth out, revealing nothing of how he felt. "Saint, is Chaos okay?"

"He kicked all three of their asses, and then Sian broke up the fight when their parents showed up. He got lucky, Braelyn. He informed us that you were his protector and that I'd stolen that away from him right before he attacked me." I laughed, pride blossoming in my chest at the boy I'd raised. "You find it funny that he attacked his friends for speaking ill about you?"

"I find it funny that he attacked you for stealing me from him. Look at it from his point of view, Saint. You came in and took away the only person he trusts. I can understand your need to get to know your son, but I am all he has known since he was a toddler. You are a stranger to him." "I know that I am, Braelyn. I didn't know he existed, and I know you claim to have tried to find me, but that's hard for me to believe," he snapped. "Well, I did," I argued. "I searched for an entire year for you. I spent resources that I didn't have to spend, trying to get you back here to take Chaos away from here. I was terrified of what would happen if my father figured out that you were Chaos's father. But my father didn't bother himself with the pack, and your son made it very easy to love him." That was the truth. "And now he's fighting me to see you," he stated, watching me. “Help me with the medicine, Braelyn."

"The pack doesn't want my help, Saint. They turned against me because of you, and now you're asking me to save them? Think about that. I have spent my entire life sacrificing everything for the pack. I put them above myself and my needs. The first time someone comes in with baseless accusations, without any fucking proof, they turn against me. I know," I exclaimed, sitting up to look him in the eye. "Find a new side-piece. I've already heard from the pack that once you choose one, she will help you raise our child. I'm certain if you two put your heads together, you'll figure it all out without my help." I rose, leaving him and the library as anger pulsed through me.

I had less than twenty-four hours left in this place, and I didn't intend to spend it dwelling over what the pack needed or didn't need. Chaos didn't need the concoction of herbs. He was a healthy young wolf who would one day be an alpha. He didn't need his nature suppressed because his mother was a shifter, just like his dad. Chaos would be fine now and under the protection of his bi- ological father. On the other hand, I had to escape his father, and I was quickly succumbing to his soft kisses and easy touches meant to seduce me.

Saint was like his son, easy to fall in love with when he turned on the charm. He'd been doing it each night, and every time he tried, I fell a little fur- ther into the trap he'd laid. It was time to get away from Saint, and with winter at our doorstep, he wouldn't be able to get to me until spring, even if he tried.