Chapter 46 Faith Shaken
Amara’s POV
I screamed as I woke up.
As though it had been imprisoned for days, the voice tore from my throat. Sharp, terrified breaths surged and sank in my chest. My skin was wet. My wrist was scorched by my mark, which felt like it was on fire.
"Amara! "
I was contacted first by Rowan. He took hold of my hand. It's alright. You're secure.
He was closely followed by Kian. "What took place? Are you in pain? "
I was unable to respond. I was having trouble breathing. The memory from the spirit realm clouded their faces, both of them.
Kian's chest being touched by Rowan's hands—the blood—my scream.
"No!” I yanked my hand away from Rowan and yelled. When Kian attempted to touch me, I pulled him away.
Both of them froze.
"Don't." My voice faltered. "Avoid touching me."
Rowan took a step back, pain visible on his face. "I just wanted to help—"
"Don't," I said. I shouted once more. My chest hurt. "I need room! "
Kian looked at Rowan, then at me, and nodded softly. "We'll give it to you."
Their shoulders were stiff when they walked out of the tent. Curling into a tight ball, I fell against the furs below.
I was trembling all the time.
That vision—that awful, awful vision. It was authentic. Too authentic. The blood. The suffering. The decision.
Hours later, there was a gentle knock.
They weren't the ones.
Mira was the one.
She entered with a lantern and a composed look on her face. "You've experienced something," she remarked softly.
I remained silent.
She wrapped a wool shawl around my shoulders and sat next to me. “You entered the domain of spirits, didn't you? "
Slowly, I raised my eye. "How are you aware?"
She said, "Child, you're marked." "The Moon doesn't only touch your soul; it claims it. It's tearing, too.”
I scowled. "What are you saying? "
She gently took my hands in hers. "The connection you share with Kian and Rowan isn't natural. Not malevolent. Not incorrect. But hazardous.
I blinked. "How dangerous? "
"It erodes your spirit," she remarked quietly. It was never intended for your spirit to be tugged in two different directions at once. And if you keep doing this... One of them will shatter. Or you will.
My eyes welled up with tears. “However, I didn't select this. The Moon did.”
"I understand." She said in a sympathetic tone. “However, we also have free will thanks to the Moon. Amara, it's no longer only about love. It has to do with equilibrium.”
I said, "I don't want to hurt them." "I'm interested in both."
"And because of that, you might destroy them both," Mira stated.
I gave a headshake. "I witnessed Rowan kill Kian."
She cast her eye downward. “Future predictions aren't always accurate. However, they are cautious.”
With my voice breaking, I said, "I don't know what to do."
“Then, for the time being, do nothing,” she said. "Allow your heart to beat. For once, let the war wait. Allow yourself to experience reality rather than simply your fears.
Without saying another word, she got up and walked away.
For what seemed like hours, I sat in silence.
At last, I ventured outdoors into the moonlight.
Kian was using the fire to sharpen his sword.
With his arms folded and observing the stars, Rowan stood by himself close to the forest's edge.
When I moved forward, they both looked at me.
I was silent for a while.
They bided their time.
I took one look at each of them. My heart ached and tugged in both directions.
"I can't do this," I said after that.
And walked away.