35. We believe it is for the best to tell her.

**Octavius**

When was the last time I faced my brother? How long ago was that? A couple of days? Maybe a few weeks? Or months?

I don't mean the time we looked at each other or smiled. I couldn't care less about our last fight if only Kieran was here.

I don't remember his smile. We spent centuries side by side. All he had to do was disappear, and I forgot his most beautiful feature.

While I'm lost in my thoughts, one of the maids quietly invites herself into my office and reaches for the empty bottles scattered across the floor.

The alcohol can't numb me, but I still can't stop drinking.

As I watch the woman, I wonder how foreign the scene seems to me. I don't need to breathe, but I've never wished for the ability as much as I do now.

Whatever this place is, this house, it doesn't feel like home anymore. Not without Kieran.

"Master Octavius, we believe it is for the best to tell her. The human she's not well; she's been looking for Master Kieran and trying to escape the mansion. It's time." The maid whispers and throws the last bottles into the bag, which I didn't see she had.

Just because I've lost track of time doesn't mean I've forgotten Ocean. I made sure someone is by her side at all times like Kieran would be. She moved into Kieran's bedroom and started sleeping in his closet, in a nest of my brother's clothes, once he didn't return for a week.

"Alright. Tell her," I wave the maid off and reach for the next bottle.

Why am I still drinking? Alcohol doesn't numb the pain or my senses. It doesn't make the fear fade, and the thoughts disappear.

The whole damn time since I got the news about my brother's disappearance, I haven't been able to function as I'd like to. There are so many unanswered questions, so many loose ends.

Something's off, something awful is about to happen, but I can't figure out what it is. The Elite won't answer my questions or let me leave the city to look for him.

There's no way Kieran is dead or taken hostage. I've seen him on the field, I've seen his movements- he's no man to mess with. He's too intelligent, far too skilled and too strong to be taken out just like that.

Kieran has had my back for centuries; he's been my Tank almost forever. I refuse to believe that a mission has failed so easily.

Either it's the work of the Elite, which is highly unlikely, or we have a mole sitting among the higher-ups.

There's still the possibility that someone from Elite told the enemies where Kieran would be. Or that new partner of his, the newcomer, might have been a fucking spy.

I could go to one of the Elite houses, but I'd get the same answer they've been throwing at me over and over again.

For me, it's a personal matter, so they think I wouldn't be able to pull myself together and think straight if they sent me after him. But if not me, who would find him?

I have no idea how much time passes before I hear it.

The ear-pitching scream of agony.

It's Ocean; I know it's her. No one else under this roof could ever express so many emotions in one sound.

Although I wish I could be there and lie that everything would be alright, for Kieran's sake, I can't move a muscle.

It's her fight, her pain and her emotions. I have no right to stand near her and watch her suffer, so I sit and listen.

Screams, shouts, crying and the smashing of whatever she's trying to destroy. That's pain. The purest, rawest and most heartbreaking emotion this human has ever felt.

I know she's been through hell and back with that dead fucker Vladimir, but I have a feeling this is the worst experience of her life.

Every time we talked about what happened in that club, she didn't shed a tear. I've heard her scream, cry and plead while she had nightmares- none of which seemed half as bad as it was now.

Ocean turned our lives upside down. At the very beginning, I wanted her- she's unique, rare goods. But when Kieran showed a genuine interest in her, I was jealous.

Not because I might lose my chance, but because Kieran wanted her. He actually wanted her. Her, not me.

But why does that matter anymore? Do I have the right to be jealous? Should I let the emotion overtake my life?

No. I should be happy to see my brother smile. No matter how strong my feelings are- at the end of the day, it's his happiness that counts.

But now, I spend my time in the office, drinking like a grumpy old fart. I'd rather watch Kieran carry Ocean around the house- each time he did, he looked like a kid. So overjoyed, so genuinely happy. And the best part- she looked the same.

Perhaps that's the real reason for my insane jealousy? Not the feelings, which I'm admitting only now, but the fact that the two of them look like they were made for each other.

As if the Gods had taken them and moulded their bodies, souls, and minds to be a perfect fit for each other.

"Fuck this!" I hiss, throw the unfinished bottle of whiskey against the wall and storm out of my office.

I can sit there, pity myself and wait until someone does what I should've done ages ago, or I can take action.

From now on, I won't listen to excuses from the Elite houses; I'll become my own force and get my brother back.

But before that, I have something to do. Something I should've done for Kieran weeks ago.

I trudge towards the black door and stop right in front of it. After a few deep breaths, though I don't need them, I calm down.

I reach for the door handle, grip it and turn it.

When I enter the room, it's so dark that it takes me a moment to take in the destruction. Damaged furniture, broken windows and even the bed's unusable.

"Ocean?" I call out. Hopefully, she didn't attempt to leave the house again because I'd have double the problems on my shoulders. "Ocean, darling, where are you?"

Sure my good guys' act doesn't always work the way I want it to, but I can make an effort and learn to accept everything. She's not to blame for the shitstorm we're stuck in, so I can't pretend she's responsible for anything.

I wait for a couple of minutes, standing frozen on the spot, until I hear her voice. Weak, full of pain, despair and fear. She barely whispers my name through tears, and that's when it hits me- the stench of blood. "Octavius?"

Everything I felt before and after I entered Kieran's bedroom fades. The only person I can think of is Ocean, and what the hell happened to her for this room to reek like this. Well, that's not all; another question keeps nagging me. Why doesn't the stench of blood draw me in? It doesn't... tempt me.

Cautiously, I walk toward the closet. I've been told that's where Ocean spends her days, so I'm careful not to make any rash movements. She sounds like a cornered animal, so scared; I'd better keep myself under control.

As I open the closet door, I can't stop a shocked gasp from leaving my lips.

Ocean is sitting in a mess of clothes, my brother's clothes, and on her legs is the lifeless body of the maid who entered my office only a few minutes ago.

Her hands tremble as she strokes the maid's hair and shreds silent tears. The worst part of the whole thing: Ocean's covered in blood, almost her entire body.

My legs carry me to the trembling human. I pull the body off her and wrap my arms around Ocean. As if on instinct, she leans forward, throws her arms around my neck and lets the tears run free.

"Holy mother of God, what happened? Ocean, darling, are you okay? Don't be scared; I'm here, I won't leave you." I'm panicking, but I try to sound calm as I place my hand on her flaming red hair and stroke it.

"I-I," Ocean hiccups, stopping herself from speaking.

I press my lips to her head and whisper, "Shh, calm down, you can tell me. What happened?"

I can't describe the storm of emotions raging inside me right now. No matter how distant I've been from this woman, how jealous I've been of her sole existence, I feel so bad for her- the poor human being.

"I- I can't," Ocean keeps hiccuping, tightening her hold around me. God, she must be scared and traumatised. Whatever happened here in mere minutes, I need to get to the bottom of it to make everything right.

I close my eyes and recall when I saw Kieran comforting Ocean. I whisper sweet nothings while my hand carefully untangles the wild locks on her head. As soon as Ocean's breathing slows down and the sobs almost disappear, I take a deep breath.

"Yes, you can. I'm here now. No matter what, I'll stay with you and protect you until Kieran returns. You mean so much to my brother. He needs you safe, healthy and happy. Please." That's a promise I can keep. My brother relies on me. He'd want me to take care of the most precious person he has while he is away.

"S-she came here on her own. I didn't ask her to come, Octavius, I didn't ask her." Ocean whispers. She sounds defeated, so damn desperate, yet unable to fight.

"I know, little one, I know. Take a deep breath, breathe, and tell me what happened so I can figure out how to fix this." Maybe I'm not the best person to be there comforting someone as Ocean starts crying again. I grab the sides of her face and force her to look in my eyes, "Ocean, look at me, just tell me."

Tears fill her eyes as Ocean takes a deep breath and blurts out, "S-she came here and told me that Kieran... She told me that Kieran's dead. And, I don't know, something inside me snapped. It happened." I can see the pain in her eyes; I can see how scared she is. Scared of losing my brother.

I push my own feelings aside and rest my forehead against hers, repeating the most important question: "What happened?"

Ocean closes her eyes, her face twists in disgust as if she's reliving what happened in the bedroom prior to my arrival. "I couldn't control myself, no matter how hard I tried. I felt like walls were building up around me, and no one could reach me. She tried to stop me and then..." Another hiccup stops Ocean from telling me more.

This is harder than it seems. Comforting someone who thought they had lost someone important, and then something happened... It's almost impossible to stay calm. At moments like this, I regret that we didn't think of placing security cameras in our bedrooms. Our privacy came at a price.

"And then what?" I whisper, averting my gaze from her face and focusing on the lifeless body lying in the closet.

"I did this," Ocean whispers, shaking her head as if she's still unable to believe what happened.

I can't suppress the chuckle that escapes me. "What, you destroyed the room? I can imagine that's what happened. The adrenaline is coursing through your veins, and right now, you're stronger than you think."

If she's worried about the room and the destruction, she's foolish. Everything can be repaired and replaced; the bedroom is the last thing she should worry about. I'll restore it to its original state before Kieran returns. And my brother will return, even if I have to trade my life for his.

"No, that too, but, Octavius, I did this," Ocean points her finger at the lifeless body.

"Pardon?" My gaze immediately jumps back to Ocean's face. She doesn't look like she's trying to lie or cover for anyone. It's so fucked up, but Ocean sounds sincere.

"She tried to stop me," Ocean states matter-of-factly.

"And then?" I raise an eyebrow, still trying to read her expression. If she's hiding something, I should be able to spot the lie.

Ocean gulps and brings her hand to the corner of her mouth. At that moment, I notice it- the speck of red she's wiping away. Did she do it? No, damn it, impossible.

"I told you, I couldn't control myself. I didn't know what was real and what wasn't, and she just stood there, so scared, so worried. Something in her eyes, it made me... It made me so hungry." Ocean sounds aggressive, yet her voice is barely audible.

I understand she's trying to prove a point, but she makes me question reality. I might mistake lies for truth if she didn't stop talking nonsense.

I take a sharp intake of breath to appear a little more human. "Darling, I'm listening; trust me, I am, but I can't follow your words. Hunger is good, you haven't eaten for days, and you spent up all the energy you might have-"

I don't get to finish my thought as Ocean breaks away and jumps up. Her eyes focus on the dead woman, a haunted expression on her face. "No, no, no, don't interrupt me, please. I didn't eat anything because I couldn't keep the damn food down. No matter what I ate, it all came back up the next minute. But this," Ocean points her finger at the woman again. "This was real, primal hunger that I couldn't resist. I attacked her, Octavius, and I think I killed her. The last thing I remember is the fear in her eyes, and the next moment, we're here, her lifeless body on mine and the taste of metal remaining stuck in my throat."