Chapter 202

Chapter 202
ANGELO

I stood in the doorway and listened to them talk about sending my mother away. Kiera's voice saying she needed help. Don Luca agreed. Both of them decided my mother's fate.

Something cold settled in my chest and spread through my whole body. They were taking her away from me. Again.

I turned and walked back to my mother's room before they could see me. Sat in the chair beside her bed and looked at her pale face. All the tubes and wires keeping her alive.

She almost died but I'm happy that at least she'd be here, close, where I could see her. Now Kiera wanted to send her somewhere far away. Some facility where I couldn't visit whenever I wanted. Where she'd be alone with strangers.

My hands tightened on the armrests. Kiera is at fault. It was her idea, her words, her decision. Don Luca might have agreed but Kiera was the one who suggested it. She was the one taking my mother away.

First my father died and now they wanted to send her away.

I stared at my mother and felt something harden inside me. Kiera turned her to be this kind of woman that was just existing and not living.

The next morning, Don Luca pulled me aside.

"Angelo, we need to talk about your mother."

I looked at him and kept my face blank.

"What about her?"

"She needs help. Professional help that we can't give her here, there's a facility that specializes in treating addiction and mental health. The best in the country."

"You're sending her away." My voice came out even as I tried to still the emotions raging inside of me.

"We're getting her the help she needs to get better." He replied.

I wanted to scream at him. Wanted to tell him he had no right to decide this. Wanted to beg him to let her stay. But I did none of those things. I just nodded and said, "Yes, sir."

Don Luca frowned. "Angelo, if you need to talk about this…"

"I'm fine," I cut him off.

That afternoon, my mother woke up. She was groggy and confused but alive. I sat beside her and held her hand.

"Angelo?" Her voice was scratchy. "What happened?"

"You took too many pills. But you're okay now."

Her eyes filled with tears. "I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, Mom."

"No, it's not." She touched my face with shaking fingers. "You shouldn't have to take care of me. I should be taking care of you."

I wanted to tell her about the facility, wanted to ask her not to go, wanted to beg her to fight so she could stay with me. But she looked so fragile right then, so I just said, "I love you, Mom."

"I love you too, sweetheart. So much."

The next morning, they took her away. She was barely awake, heavily sedated for the transport. I helped her into the medical van and she looked at me with cloudy eyes.

"Where am I going?" she asked.

"Somewhere to help you get better," I said, my throat tight.

"Will you visit?"

"Every chance I get." I hugged her carefully. "I'll wait for you, Mama. However long it takes."

She smiled but her eyes were already drifting closed.

"Wait for what, sweetheart?"

The words cut through me because she didn't remember, didn't know what I'd just said. The drugs made everything fuzzy.

The van doors closed and she was gone. I stood there watching until the vehicle disappeared down the driveway. Kiera came up beside me.

"Angelo…"

I walked past her without a word. Went straight to my room and closed the door.

That night at dinner, everyone tried to act normal. Adore kept looking at me with worried eyes. Adonis didn't say anything but sat close to me. Don Luca and Kiera talked about nothing important.

I ate everything on my plate and answered when spoken to and excused myself politely. Perfect behavior.

Later, Adore knocked on my door.

"Angelo? I made you another drawing."

I opened the door and she held out a piece of paper. This one showed me and her and a sun shining overhead.

"Thank you," I said, taking it.

She smiled hopefully. "Do you want to play a game?"

"Not tonight. I have homework."

Her face fell. "Oh. Okay."

She walked away slowly and I closed the door. Looked at the drawing in my hands. Walked to my trash can. Dropped it inside without another glance.

Something inside me had gone cold and I couldn't find my way back to who I'd been yesterday. The boy who smiled at Adore's drawings.

That boy was gone. And I didn't know if he was ever coming back.

The next few days passed in a blur. I woke up, got dressed, went to school with the driver. Came home, did my homework, ate dinner. Said "yes, sir" and "no, ma'am" and "thank you" when appropriate.

Adore tried to give me more drawings. I took them and threw them away. Adonis asked if I wanted to shoot hoops. I said I had studying to do. Kiera asked if I wanted to help bake cookies. I said no thank you.

Only Emilio noticed something was wrong. He found me in the garage one afternoon, just sitting on the steps.

"Kid, you okay?" He asked with concern etched on his brow.

"I'm fine." My reply was clipped but that didn't deter him.

"You don't look fine."

I shrugged and stared at the ground. Emilio sat beside me and we stayed there in silence for a while.

"You're angry," he said finally.

I didn't answer.

"It's okay to be angry. What happened to your mom, having to send her away, that's hard."

"I said I'm fine." I snapped.

"Angelo…"

"Can you just leave me alone?" The words came out sharp but I couldn't help it.

Emilio looked at me for a long moment and then stood up. "I'm here when you're ready to talk."

But I wasn't ready. Might never be ready. Because talking meant feeling and feeling meant breaking and I couldn't afford to break.

A week passed. Then two. I moved through the house like a ghost, present but not there. Don Luca tried to engage me in training sessions. I did everything he asked, perfectly, mechanically, without emotion.

"Good," he'd say after I completed a drill. "Very good."

"Thank you, sir," I'd reply and wait for the next instruction.

At school, Pascal tried to bother me again. This time I didn't warn him. I just broke his nose and walked away before the teachers came. The principal called Don Luca. I sat in the office and listened to them talk about my behavior.

"I'll handle it." He promised.

In the car ride home, Don Luca looked at me.

"Want to tell me what happened?" He asked softly.

"He was bothering me. I stopped him." I replied swiftly.

"By breaking his nose?"

"Yes, sir."

Don Luca was quiet for a moment. "Angelo, I know you're hurting…"

"I'm not hurting. I'm fine."

I stared out the window and said nothing. When we got home, I went straight to my room. Sat on my bed and pulled out the first drawing Adore had given me, the one that said 'My Big Bro Angelo.'

I'd kept this one. Hidden in my drawer where no one would see. I looked at it and felt my chest tightened.

I folded the drawing and put it back in the drawer. Then I lay down and stared at the ceiling until sleep finally came.