Chapter 15 A YEARNING MAN
I was mortified, embarrassed as I heard him say those words to me.
I bit my lower lip harder, praying I should drop dead into a sinking ground.
Then suddenly, the grin on his face melted into something more frivolous to his tease.
“Who did this?” He asked, his tone already turned cold as ice and unforgiving.
“What?” I breathed softly, my irritation warning off as they began to dissipate.
“Who touched you, Vanessa?” He demanded again, turning my cheek to examine it fully.
Although slight, the print from the slap I had received last night was still spotted by him.
I wondered how attentive he had been to me enough to notice. I had to also pinch myself at the absurdity of my thoughts.
After all, watching over me seems to be a pledge of life duty to him already.
The look in my eyes fell, same as my body.
How can a man's nature be so contradictory?
A minute with him and I can feel the heat of the world lashing out at me and the next, I feel totally safe— enough to want to surrender my entire being into his care because I know he was going to protect me from wherever danger comes my way.
But… Why am I so confused about Rafael?
—
If he ever makes you confused, then he is not this one.
This was right and Rafael making me feel a different emotion that is highly contradictory to the last every minute I spent with him proved nothing more than him being the farthest man I could ever be with.
I shut the door to the vulnerable emotions that had showed up within my eyes and I slammed his hand seat from my chin with mine.
“What does it matter to you, anyway?” I spat at him.
He heaved a restless sigh, unable to break through into my wall of defense within such short timing.
“It matters to me, Vanessa.” He responded. “Right now, all I need to hear from you is who had hurt you while I was gone. Give me the name of who had dared to raise their finger at you…”
“And you what next?” I shot at him, forcing him to stop mid sentence. “Avenge me?”
We went silent again, left with no other choice than to keep looking into the gate of our souls— our eyes.
I could see him watch my pitiful self with a shredding heart and all I saw of him was a man who was hurting for my sake.
I forced myself to tone down my defensive mode towards him, but I didn't revert my gaze.
Instead, I reached out to his face for the first time which lighted a warm spark within him as I pulled closer.
I touched his face, gently warming it up with my fingers laid over his cheek and I could have sworn the vessels within the cell of his face were pleased at my touch.
He was like a cat and I was to him his owner— his very own master.
For a brief moment, he closed his eyes, still lost in savouring the feeling of my touch which he found too good to be true.
Not until I could feel his hand guiding mine— perhaps a restriction so I do not let go anytime soon.
He yearned so much for my touch, enjoying the heat of the moment and I was dazzled at his state as I found him extremely vulnerable at that moment.
It was just a simple touch to his skin, but it felt as though I had touched the very essence that made up his soul.
He took my other hand in his, allowing me to cup his face into my small hands which could barely contain his whole face— no, it couldn't.
Then, he kissed my hands softly, never wanting to let go while he whispered some words to me.
His voice was very calm— a little too calm that I could have fallen for whatever he was saying to me.
“I can't bear to see anyone hurt you, Nessa. I want to be there for you whenever you need me, I want to protect you from all these people so they will never hurt you.”
“Then let me go.” I whispered back to him softly, matching his tone this time. “Don't you see it? I clearly got hurt because of you. You are the dangerous one I should stay away from.”
It took him a while to state another claim, but he eventually did, pressing my hand against his cheeks with his eyes squinted like he was about to unfurl.
“I can't, Vanessa. I need you.” He confessed.
“I cannot let you go, but I can make you happy— be the happiest woman in the world and my woman at that.”
I swallowed the bridle in my throat, realizing my words weren't cutting through his timid mind.
“My happiness does not lie with you. I can only be happy if I am away from you.” I said again, taking his hands into mine while I also made him look into my eyes.
“Whatever this madness is, I will forgive you at once the moment you let me go. I swear it!” I cried to him, still clinging unto him, but he changed— turning ice cold again.
He eventually let go of my hand, getting up at once while I fell after him to the bed.
My heart sank deeper than it has ever sunk.
None of my words to him could stir him up to have mercy.
There weren't the words he wanted to hear me say and that has iced him up yet again.
“Please, let me go.” I cried weakly, my voice barely above a whisper.
“Get dressed, Vanessa.” His ruthless voice toned at me with a command. “We have somewhere to be.” He continued, making for the door at once, but before he walked out, he added,
“The car leaves in thirty minutes.”
I slumped back into the bed, giving up on trying to persuade him to let me go.
But what if he finds out I tried to escape from him last night? What would his reaction to that be? Perhaps, if he finds out, he might grow to hate me and in the end cast me away?
I silently prayed this wasn't going to turn into another self made delusion.