Chapter 23 Bad Thoughts

Chapter 23 Bad Thoughts
Ysara POV

Lila’s face filled the screen, blotchy and red eyed, with her hair shoved into a messy knot like she’d been dragging her hands through it all day.

The hospital room behind her was too white, and too quiet, that awful calm-before-the-storm quiet.

“They’re prepping her tonight,” Lila whispered.
“Surgery’s first thing in the morning.”

My chest caved in. Finally. Mom was getting a new heart. All thanks to my men.

“I hate this,” I said, my voice breaking. “I hate that I’m not there.”

“I know,” she said, and then we were both crying, ugly and shaking and honest. “But she’s safe. Dad’s here. We’re safe.”

Wyatt appeared behind me, silent as always, and held up his phone. I heard the soft chime on Lila’s end a second later.

“Oh my god,” she breathed. “Ysa...he just...”

“I know,” I said quickly. “Please don’t argue. Just use it. For the hotel. Food. Clothes. Whatever you need.”

“Tell him thank you,” she said fiercely. “Tell all of them thank you.”

I nodded, wiping my face. “I will.”

We sat there for a moment, just breathing at each other through the screen. Then my stomach twisted.

“Lila… I’m so fucking scared.”

She tilted her head. “Of the surgery?”

“Of… everything else,” I admitted. “The fae queen demanding my presence. The court. All of it. They already don’t like me.”

Lila straightened, and her eyes sharpened in that way that meant she was done being gentle. “Ysara Hartwell, listen to me.”

I stilled.

“You are brilliant. You are terrifying. You are compassionate and unhinged and stubborn as hell. You survived things that would’ve destroyed other people. If anyone can handle an uppity, snobby fae queen with a superiority complex, it’s you.”

A laugh broke out of me through the tears.

“I mean it,” she said. “You are a bad bitch. You always have been. This whole supernatural world just doesn’t know it yet.”

My throat closed. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she said softly. “Go do your thing. I’ll handle this end.”

The call ended.

The second the screen went dark, everything I’d been holding back crashed down on me. My knees buckled.
Strong arms caught me before I hit the floor. Kalesh.

He didn’t say a word. Just opened his arms, solid and warm and steady, and I dissolved into him. I sobbed into his chest like something inside me had finally cracked all the way open. He held me like I was precious, like I was allowed to fall apart.

When the storm passed, I pulled back, wiped my face, and inhaled hard.

“Okay,” I said hoarsely. “Okay. Let’s fucking do this.”

Wyatt nodded once. Rafe squeezed my shoulder. Darken’s eyes burned with quiet approval. Tharion watched me like I’d just breathed fire. We stepped outside together. Five Hunter Fae waited at the treeline. They were lethal and elegant, their eyes sharp, and their armor gleamed faintly with solar sigils. Power hummed around them like a warning.

Tharion glanced between them and the forest. “How long is this journey?”

“A few hours to the portal,” Kalesh said with a grin.

Tharion snorted. “No. Too dangerous.”

Everyone turned.

“We fly,” Tharion said simply. “I will shift. You will ride me.”

The silence that followed was profound.

Rafe blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”

Wyatt crossed his arms. “Absolutely not.”

Darken opened his mouth to object.

I clapped. Like a child on Christmas morning.

“FUCK YES.”

They all stared at me.

“Are you kidding?” I bounced on my toes. “I get to ride a dragon. I’m doing it. This is happening.”

Tharion’s lips twitched.

“Please don’t encourage him,” Wyatt muttered.

Too late. The air shimmered as Tharion stepped away from us. Bones shifted. Power surged. Wings tore free in a thunder of displaced air. Scales rippled over skin like molten obsidian. Axis’s presence slammed into the clearing like a living storm. He was enormous, terrifying, and beautiful.

My heart raced with awe.

“Well,” I breathed. “Holy shit. You are stunning!!"

Axis did that sexy dragon rumble and I giggled in response. Kalesh was already moving, agile and sure, climbing up to the base of Tharion’s neck.

“I’ll guide, us there” he called back. “Hold tight.”

The others exchanged looks of pure disbelief. One by one, they climbed on. Darken anchored himself with magic. Wyatt and Rafe found handholds along ridges of scale and muscle, and complained the entire time. Tharion waited patiently, flexing his wings lightly.

I climbed on last. The moment I settled between Tharion’s shoulders, his warmth soaked into me, grounding and fierce. I pressed my hand to his neck.

“I am ready, my dragon,” I whispered.

He rumbled again, deep and pleased. The ground vanished beneath us. Air rushed past, wild and cold and exhilarating. Trees blurred. Mountains opened beneath us. I laughed, breathless and unafraid, wrapped in the strength of something ancient and loyal. Kalesh leaned back just enough to look at me, his grin feral.

“This,” he shouted over the wind, “is just the beginning.”

I believed him. If you had asked me even just a week ago, I would have laughed hilariously at the idea of supernaturals being real. But deep down...I think I always knew they were, and now here I was, riding a fucking dragon! Best day of my life!

About an hour into our flight, my brain did that thing again.

The quiet click before the spiral. The moment where everything felt fine and then suddenly… wasn’t. I chewed on my lower lip, my fingers twisting into the leather strap I was clinging to as Tharion flew. The wind roared around us, the forest rushed by below, and everyone was alive and powerful and sure.

Too sure. How could they love me?

The thought hit like a blade.

They barely know me. They’ve known me for what, days? Weeks? Sex and danger and adrenaline don’t equal love. They equal chemistry. Trauma bonding. Fate bullshit. Not real, steady, choose you every day love.

My chest tightened.

What if they had lovers before me? What if they still wanted them? What if I’m just… convenient? Magical? Useful?

My stomach dropped.

What if they feel forced? The Ravelyn. The prophecy. The bonds. The power amplification. What if none of this is actually about me at all? What if I’m just a vessel they got stuck with and they’re too honorable to say they don’t want this?

I swallowed hard, my throat burning.

God, what if they wake up one day and realize I’m too much? Too emotional. Too intense. Too broken. Too loud. Too quiet. Too needy. Too angry. Too scared. Too everything.

My thoughts started tripping over each other.

They don’t really love you. They’ll leave when this is over. They’ll resent you. They already regret it. You’re embarrassing yourself.

My fingers trembled. I pressed my cheek against Tharion’s warm scales, breathing him in, grounding myself in the heat and the steady power beneath me. Still, the doubt kept whispering, vicious and convincing.

You’re going to ruin this. Fuck everything up. You always do.

“Almost there, little witch!” Kalesh called from ahead, his voice bright and steady.

I looked up, forcing a smile onto my face and lifting one hand to wave at him. He waved back instantly, his grin wide and genuine. The ache in my chest didn’t ease. I rested fully against Tharion, letting his warmth soak into me, when suddenly...

"My queen."

The voice wasn’t sound. It was presence. Deep, ancient, and steady. It wrapped around my thoughts without pushing, without invading. I froze.

"I overheard your thoughts," Axis said gently. "Please allow me to speak."

My breath hitched.

Okay. Sure. Because why not add telepathic dragons to the emotional meltdown.

"Please do not let those thoughts plague you," Axis continued. "My human, Tharion, is madly in love with you. Fiercely. Completely. As am I."

My eyes burned.

"It seems the others are as well," he added, not unkindly. "Their emotions are loud. Protective. Devoted. They do not feel forced. They feel chosen."

A tear slipped free, stolen by the wind.

"You don’t know me," I thought weakly.

"We know enough," Axis replied. "And we will learn the rest. That is what bonds are for."

I swallowed, and my shoulders shook.

"How are you in my head?" I asked silently.

A soft chuckle echoed through my mind. "When you marked Tharion, it opened a path. A shared thread. Through him, to me."

Oh.

"I have not opened the full mind-link with my human yet," Axis said. "I wished for your approval first."

Despite everything, a small, fragile smile curved my lips.

"Okay, my dragon," I thought. "Tell him when we land."

"As you wish, my queen."

The connection softened, not gone, just… there. Steady, and waiting. I wiped my face quickly, breathing deep, grounding myself in the roar of wings and the solid certainty beneath me. I wondered what having Tharion in my mind would be like. He may not wanna stay long, thats for sure. I sighed deeply. Maybe it would be nice?

The thoughts would eventually come back. They always did.

But for this moment, held between sky and fire and devotion, I let myself believe they loved me.
~
Two hours later...

We landed in a massive clearing tucked deep between rising mountains. The earth was wide and open like it had been waiting for us. Pines framed the space in a loose circle, their needles whispering as Tharion’s wings beat once, twice, then folded.

Everyone scrambled off him, laughing, boots crunching against stone and moss. Tharion shifted fast, scales rippling into skin, and his giant wings vanishing as if they’d never been. Before I could blink, he scooped me up and spun me in a dizzy circle. I laughed, loud and unguarded, the sound ripping free from my chest.

In my mind, his voice came warm and reverent.

"Thank you for this gift, my queen. Axis has shared your thoughts with me. I will now always be here to help banish the bad ones."

That did it. Tears welled instantly in my brown eyes, spilling down my cheeks. Tharion froze.

“Oh gods,” he muttered aloud, panic flaring across his face.

Rafe and Wyatt growled in unison, stepping forward.
“What did you do, dragon?”

Tharion snarled right back, possessive and sharp. “They are happy tears.”

I burst out laughing through the tears. “Yes! They are. Calm your titties, all of you.”

That earned a stunned pause, then snorts of laughter from the twins. I wiped my face and looked at them, my heart still thudding. “I can communicate with Tharion in my mind. Like… fully.”

Four sets of male eyes sharpened instantly. Jealousy rolled off them like heat.

I pursed my lips, considering. “Hmm. I wonder.”

Closing my eyes, I focused hard, grounding myself in the bond humming beneath my skin. “Okay. Everyone touch me.”

They didn’t hesitate. Hands landed on my arms, and my shoulders. Kalesh’s palm drifted higher than necessary and cupped my breast. I giggled.

And suddenly... "Yes!" Kalesh’s voice bloomed in my mind, rich and startled and reverent all at once.

“Oh,” I breathed. “That worked.”

I focused again, widening the space, inviting the others in. Wyatt’s presence snapped in, solid and warm. Rafe followed, sharp-edged and amused. Darken was last, cool and deliberate, like a door clicking quietly shut behind him.

Five voices. One circle. I hummed softly, satisfaction curling through me. “That’s much better.”

Then Axis pushed something outward. A memory. My doubts. The spiral. The fear that none of them truly wanted me. Heat flooded my cheeks as the image faded.

Immediately, they responded. One by one, their voices layered over mine. Reassurances. Affection. Fierce devotion. Not loud, not forced. Just… there. I swallowed hard.

From the edge of the clearing, one of the hunter fae scoffed. “Are we done? It is time to go.”

I shot the hunter a glare sharp enough to cut glass.

“Okay, fine. Let’s go, Mr. Impatient Asshole.”