Chapter 167 More Time
ADRIANA
I was in the kitchen in the early afternoon, between the morning training session and the twins’ next feed, eating something quickly and standing up because sitting down felt like a commitment I didn’t have time for.
One of the maids, her name is Petra, I think—came in to restock something and we exchanged a few words, when she asked something that made me pause. “Is there anything I can do to help with the council situation, Luna? I know it must be stressful with everything else you’re managing.”
I looked at her.
She looked back at me and the blood drained from her face as she understood, from my expression, that she had just said something she was not supposed to say.
“What are you referring to?” I asked calmly, keeping my voice calm though I could feel something bubbling underneath.
She looked hesitant, and a little scared honestly. As much as I didn't want to push, I was already in the dark and I did not like it.
“Petra, I'm asking you as your Luna, what are you referring to?” She sighed in defeat and started talking.
I was able to pull my month from the ground and thank her after she was done telling me everything that had to do with Elder Calder and his solution to MY PROBLEMS.
“I’m so sorry, Luna. I just wanted to help.” I waved it off and forced a small reassuring smile.
“You’re not in trouble. Thank you for telling me.”
She left me in the kitchen. I didn’t know the accurate way to describe what I was feeling, but I imagined it would be what the rug being pulled under you would feel like.
Along with that came a cold anger that threatened to freeze my insides. I set it aside and instead went to find Elder Carver.
He was in his office in the council wing, which was a part of the packhouse I did not visit often because my work as Luna operated mostly through Hazel and through direct pack contact rather than through council formality.
His door was open and he was at his desk and he looked up when I appeared. His expression was almost satisfied, like he had been waiting for this. Maybe even planned for it.
“Luna,” he said. He stood, because whatever else Carver was, he understood the protocols of respect. “Please, come in.”
I went in but I did not sit down.
He smiled at me. “To what do I owe this honorary visit?”
“I understand you’ve filed a request for a special council session,” I said, going straight to the point. “Regarding my fitness as Luna.”
“It is regarding pack stability actually,” he said. The correction was immediate and smooth. “The council has a responsibility—”
“Elder Carver.” I kept my voice level. “We both know what the session is about. I’d prefer we speak honestly rather than spend this conversation navigating the language you’ve constructed around the actual subject.”
He looked at me for a moment. Then, with something that might have been a small measure of genuine respect, he sat back down.
“Very well,” he said. “What would you like to say?”
“I’d like to understand your position. Fully. Not the version you’ve been presenting to council members over dinners. The actual position.”
He was quiet for a moment, and I watched him decide something.
“My position,” he said, “is that a Luna whose powers are uncontrolled represents a genuine risk to this pack. I am not saying this to question her character, nor do I have anything against the woman personally. But because leadership requires stability, and what happened in the nursery was not stable.” He met my eyes. “I have a responsibility to the pack that predates my relationship with any individual Alpha or Luna. I have been on this council through three leaderships. My obligation is to the pack’s continuity and safety.”
“And removing me from active duties achieves that how?” I tilted my head to the side, daring him.
“It creates space for the situation to be addressed without the pack having to watch it be addressed. Which protects you as much as it protects them.”
“With respect, Elder Carver, that is not your decision to make on my behalf.”
“It may become the council’s decision to make.”
I looked at him steadily.
I could feel the power moving. It was always moving now, always present just below the surface, looking for a response to whatever I was feeling. I could feel it reading the anger in me. I breathed and urged myself to calm down.
The sisters had been building this with me for ten days. The capacity to feel the power moving and not immediately become a passenger in it. To stand in the gap between feeling and responding and make a choice about what happened in that gap.
I stood in the gap.
The power moved through me and I held it and the room did not shake and the lights did not flicker and Elder Carver did not see anything except his Luna looking at him with complete composure.
It cost me considerably. My hands, at my sides, were shaking very slightly and I was grateful for the angle of the afternoon light.
“I’m going to be honest with you,” I said. “What happened in the nursery frightened me more than it frightened anyone in this pack. Those are my children. The idea that I could have hurt them is something I’m going to carry for a very long time.” I paused. “I’m also working harder than I have ever worked at anything to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Every minute of every day. That work is happening whether or not the council chooses to see it.”
He said nothing.
“What I need from you,” I continued, “is not a formal review process of my character. What I need is time. Which I am asking for directly, as your Luna, rather than having it maneuvered around me while I’m not in the room.”
He was quiet for a long moment.
“How much time?” he said finally.
“Enough to demonstrate that the situation is under control. I’m not asking you to take anything on faith. I’m asking you to observe rather than act preemptively.” I held his gaze. “Give me that.”
“I’ll consider it,” he said.
I nodded. That was better than nothing.
“Thank you for your kind consideration, Elder.” If he noted the sarcasm in my tone, he didn’t mention anything.