54 - Insanely and utterly into him

THALIA ZAHARA.

“How did it go with the Doctor?” Ezra asked as I walked into the surveillance room. “You didn’t take long.”

“The Doctor was not real,” I grunted and dropped the box on the ground. “I don’t know how she did it, but it was Paterica.”

“What is Pate… Oh.” He turned his chair in my direction. “That woman.”

“Oh, yes. That woman. I don’t know how she did it, but she successfully disguised herself as the Doctor.”

“She has been spying on us?”

“It seems so.” I ripped the top of the box. It was filled with letters, flash drives and hard drives labeled in my father’s handwriting. My chest tightened and my hands delayed reaching for the first item. “I don’t know if the Lycan sent her, but they are both starting to get on my nerves. If I was a bloodthirsty wolf, I would have sipped every pint of blood in their body by now.”

“They deserve that.” I looked up at the man and he seemed to perceive that I was hesitating to do something. “Is there something you are looking at?”

“Emmag said this package arrived for me. It is from my dad.” Something in my chest churned and I felt sick. “I want to know what's inside all of these letters and drives, but I am scared.”

Alpha Ezra got up and squatted next to me. His head turned in my direction and with the softest tone I’ve ever heard him utter, he asked, “Why?”

“I don’t know.” As I responded, I reached for the first letter in sight. “I am just scared.”

“We can go through it together if you want. Maybe that will make it less scary.”

His simple gesture of help made my soul relax in the midst of all that was brewing in my soul. My shoulders dropped their tension and I focused on him. “I can’t process the nature of this package. If it is really from my father, does it mean he is alive? If he sent the package before dying, he must have processed it to be delivered to The Night Stream pack. So, why and how did this package find me here?”

“Is that the question burning in your heart right now?” he asked.

“Not really.” I sighed. “I should stop stalling and start digging into the contents of this box.” I opened the paper in my hand and my breath thickened as I proceeded to read its content. “This letter is addressed to my mother.” I looked at the date written at the base of the handwriting. “He wrote this five years ago.” I went back to the content and read it again to confirm that what I read earlier was a figment of my imagination.

It wasn’t.

What I read the first time was correct. My father wrote a letter to my mother with the fear that five years later, he would no longer be alive. As I read how his poetic writing assured my mother who was already showing early signs of dementia five years ago, I started to recall how bratty I was back then because I carried my issues above every other person’s.

My father ignored his pain to attend to a silly girl of nineteen years old who could not stop yapping about not having a mate. How could I have been so foolish? Why didn’t I pay attention to my father the way he did for me?

Yes, we pulled through my bratty phase and our bond became stronger, but that doesn’t excuse how inconsiderate my actions were.

Ahh… this must be that feeling of regret and guilt. I deserve to feel every width and depth of it.

“Thalia?” I tore my teary gaze away from the ceiling and faced Alpha Ezra. “What is it?”

“I don’t-” My silent cry choked me.

“Are you crying?”

My face turned away from him. “No?”

“You are crying. What does the letter say?”

“My dad was sick. He knew he was going to die.” I closed my eyes. “I should have known.”

“If he didn’t say anything, how would you have known?” His question was a little harsh but it was true. “Did your father leave a letter for you? Maybe his letter will help you understand his choice better.”

“Uhm…” My eyes scanned the box and I wondered if I wanted to take a step further into the contents. “I think I should stop for now. I will come by later to take a look at everything.” With a lack of coordination in my hands, I haggardly wiped my tears off, sniffled and closed the box. “Alpha Ezra?”

“Yes, Thalia?”

“I am sorry for making you wait in the rain for a long time. Emmag told me it’s your weakness.”

“You should not be sorry. I chose to stand in the rain to-”

“But you did that because of me. You were searching for me but ended up unconscious for a long time. I feel bad about it.”

“I don’t.”

“Huh?”

His hand gently rested on my head. “I don’t regret standing in the rain.”

“You don’t.” I was baffled.

“Because of it, I have received a priceless gift that I never thought I would have.”

“Oh.” I wiped off the tears at the corner of my eyes. “What is this priceless gift?”

“It’s you, Miss Thalia. It took standing in the rain to realize the blessing you are to me. I should be the one to apologize for abusing the kindness you extended to me and this pack even though you have been silently fighting your battles.” His feet paddled closer to me and he hugged me to his side, his chin resting on my head after. “I should have protected you better even when you didn’t know I existed.”

“This is crazy,” I blurted out in a whisper. “Why is your apology so exciting?”

“Is your heart racing right now?” he returned the whisper and his breath found a spot against my neck to tickle.

“A little?” Why does it feel like the flames of desire are about to explode?

“Mine is racing too.”

“A little?”

He pressed his nose against my head and I imagined that his eyes were closed.

“A lot,” he said. “It has been hard to control, Thalia.” A deep gulp and I tried to pretend that his response didn’t make every part of me tingle. “My heart is very new to this mate thing. Heck,” he sniffed my hair, “my entire being is new to this. I thought I would be able to hold back, but it is getting hard, Thalia.”

If I wasn’t engrossed by the intensity of our little moment, I would have made a joke with his last statement. Dirty jokes are kind of my thing when I decide to be mischievous.

“Ezra.” I searched his eyes after I turned my head to face him.

“Yes, Thalia?”

Ugh… I am done for. I am insanely and utterly into this man. And it certainly doesn’t help that my wolf keeps igniting the joy in my heart with her excitement.

“I think we are inching closer to it,” I said.

“To what?”

My eyes fell on his tempting lips. “Kissing again. This time, I want it.”

“Our history of kissing has been weird, hasn’t it?”

I swiftly nodded. “Let us rewrite that history now that this connection between us won't stop growing.”

His hand held the back of my head and our foreheads kissed. “You sure?”

I sensed his need for me in his voice and it made me more expectant and excited.

“I don’t want to regret not kissing you, Ezra.”

“I don’t want to be filled with regrets, either.”

‘Argh! Just kiss him already!’ My wolf squealed.

So, after another deep swallow, I closed the little gap between us and grazed his lips with my fingers to get a feel of the man who used to be distant from me. As I did that, his other hand found my waist and with an ease I never knew was possible, he leaned my body a little close to the ground, and his body followed mine. Without much delay, our lips melted into each other so much that anyone who walked in would be able to tell that we had been silently wishing and hoping for that moment to come.

Funny thing though… as Ezra’s warm lips coveted mine, the door flung open and someone walked in. However, we didn’t stop. The kiss was too intoxicating to stop, so I neglected every other thing and focused on Ezra Thiago, the man who I went from slightly hating to admiring and perhaps now, loving with a depth I never knew I was capable of.