50 - Going insane

THALIA ZAHARA.

My fast exit from the room ended at the garden carefully hidden in the secret parts of the palace. As I settled on the bench on whose armrest I almost crushed Mona Billani’s head, my chaotic heart relaxed a little and I chose to abandon all thoughts.

Of course, I could not abandon my thoughts. No matter how much I narrowed my eyes to place my focus on the flowers around me, thoughts about Alpha Ezra, his beautiful eyes and confusing yet slightly warm mate claims kept intruding.

“Ah…” I exhaled loudly, my legs stretching and then crossing. “I am done for. Super done for.”

“Thalia.”

I snickered. “Not you again.”

I had long noticed the child following me, but I ignored him on purpose. And I wished I could continue to ignore him but he was now standing close to me, his mouth ready to continue torturing my mind.

“Thalia.”

“Hey,” I met his eyes, “who fucking sent you?”

“Thalia.”

Not this time, you idiot goblin. I won’t let you mess with me anymore.

With a snarl similar to a war cry, I lunged at the boy and firmly gripped his shoulders.

“I know what you are, little boy.”

“Thalia.”

My eyes narrowed and a dangerous smirk grew on my lips. “You are a goblin. The goblin sent to murder me.”

“Tha-”

My hands pressed into his bones. “Before I slap the truth out of your youthful body, stop your shit and reveal yourself.” Truthfully, I was about to slap him, but hitting a child would have made me feel guilty for days.

The child stared blankly at me and it seemed the Goblin wasn’t going to budge until his arms started to bulge against my palms. I quickly withdrew my hands from the queasy feeling and with widened eyes, I watched with slight fear as the child’s skin morphed into a huge unsightly beast.

“You should watch the things you say, Thalia.” His real voice made my soul shiver and I made sure to take one more step back in case he tries something dangerous. “I have a mission to end your life. Push me with your reckless words and I’ll take your life right now.”

I laughed as though I had the strength and power to tackle the beast. “Whatever you say, Goblin. Even if you desire to take my life right now, I still want to know the person that sent you. I know it isn’t Lycan Octavius, so don’t choose that easy lie.”

“What makes you think I will tell you the truth? You are nothing but a soul I must get rid of.”

“I-”

“Thalia!” Emmag’s worried cry came from the entrance. The man rushed to me and quickly blocked the gap between me and the Goblin. “What are you trying to do, you fucking vile shit?”

“I have no business with you,” the creature responded.

“You intend to kill her, how is that not my business? You should leave right now.”

Surprisingly, the creature said nothing more. With a smirk, it returned to the child’s body and slowly backed out until he could no longer be seen.

“I don’t need you to protect me,” I quickly rebuked Emmag’s action. “I was handling the situation.”

“That beast could have murdered you easily.” He turned and faced me. “Nobody comes by this garden, it would have been easy for the Goblin to-”

“He didn’t kill me, did he?” I harshly asked. I can’t really explain it, but Emmag’s reaction to the truth I earlier disclosed makes me feel like it’d be proper to distance myself from him for a while. But before I do that, I think it’s better to confront him. “About earlier-”

“Ahh, about that. I was uh…” He scratched the back of his head. “I was too overwhelmed by your truth and lost my mind for a moment. I should have watched my words and tone carefully.” I followed his hand as it settled on my arm. “Did I startle you?”

Am I going crazy?

The words he just uttered sounded similar to the kind of things Octavius used to say whenever I tried to ask certain questions that were not to his liking.

Or, am I reading too much into a simple explanation?

“Thalia?”

“Huh? Oh.” I swallowed my thoughts and chose to walk away from that scene before I could get more uneasy. “I understand. It’s fine.” I started to move. “I should go. I haven’t taken my bath.”

“What did Alpha Ezra say about Beta Vistral?”

“Nothing much. He expressed a little disappointment but that was all.” I’d be a fool to tell him the exact details. “Is there anything else you want to ask?”

“Oh,” he smiled, “no.”

“Alright.”

“Are we training today?” His question sharply stopped my rapid steps. “We should intensify our training to make up for lost time.”

Why does it feel like he’s intentionally trying to hold me back?

“Emmag, you can choose a time that works for you. I don’t do a lot in this place, so I have time to spare.” I said all that without looking back. Once I was done, I walked out before he could find more questions to hold me down.

The moment I was far from the garden, I released the breath I had been holding on to and my soul became more relaxed. I walked with ease and headed for the room which I hoped was empty. Then, as my pace grew, my thoughts traveled to the heavy details that were revealed the previous day. I was too focused on who was lying or not lying when I should have confronted Octavius who clearly confirmed that he deceived me using his powers.

How can I be stupid? I should have at least pulled his hair and asked how much more daring he could be. I mean, this man crawled into my room the other day acting as though our ‘mate bond’ was still bothering him. How could he?

“Thalia.”

“What again…? You-” No one was around me. I rushed to the nearest window to see if there was someone on the ground floor who needed my attention, but there was no one. Baffled, I quickly analyzed the voice. It was not that of the child’s, I am certain about that. Yeah, the voice was somewhat feminine- feminine and soothing.

“Last I checked, I am female.”

“Uhm…?” Arghh… I think the shit I’ve been going through has finally managed to make me go officially insane. “Goblin?”

The voice in my head giggled. “Goblin? That is insulting, my dear Thalia.”

“So,” my heart started to race, “I am going insane?”

“No silly. I am your wolf.”

Wolf? Really? Goblin is stepping up his game? He has now entered my soul and chosen to use my weakness against me. Exactly what has my life come to? Huh?

“Oh, come on Thalia.” After that response, a bright light flashed in my head and the ball of the fire I had been curious about swiftly formed around me. Within that sphere, in front of me, little lights danced and weaved until a mighty wolf was formed.

“I took too long, didn’t I?” The being in front of me spoke using the voice that was just in my head. From there, my soul felt light, my heart’s rapid beats reduced and for many seconds, I could not feel anything. “I am sorry, Thalia. For taking too long.”

Ah… I must be dreaming. That is the only explanation for this…