Chapter 9 THE BETA’S CONFESSION
MONTY’S POV
I shouldn't be here.
The thought repeats itself as I stand in the doorway of Alicia's room, watching moonlight paint silver across her sleeping face. My wolf paces beneath my skin, restless and hungry, clawing to get closer to her. To touch her and claim what it's been denied for three goddamn years.
Three years.
That's how long I've been lying. To Ray. To myself. To everyone.
She shifts in her sleep, and the thin blanket slips down to reveal the curve of her shoulder. My hands clench at my sides. I should leave. Should walk away before I do something stupid. Something that will destroy the only friendship I've ever valued.
But my feet won't move.
My wolf howls inside me, a sound of pure longing that I've been strangling since the first time I saw her.
Three years ago at the border negotiation.
FLASHBACK
The neutral ground between Blood Moon and Dark Night Pack was tense that day. Thirty wolves on each side, weapons barely concealed, tempers shorter than the leashes we pretended to keep on our animals.
I stood at Ray's right hand, where a Beta belongs. Scanning for threats. Watching body language. Doing my job.
Then Vincent Rowe walked onto the field with his daughter.
She looked like a young adult, I'd guess twenty-two. Her hair like midnight, pulled back in a braid that left her neck exposed. Golden-brown eyes that swept the crowd with more intelligence than fear. She wore leather and denim like armor, but she moved like water, fluid, graceful, dangerous if underestimated.
My wolf slammed against my ribcage so hard I thought my chest would crack open.
Mate.
The word was instant. Absolute. Undeniable.
I'd stumbled. Actually stumbled, like a drunk idiot. Ray caught my elbow, frowning. "You good?"
"Fine," I'd lied. The first of many. "I just thought I saw something."
I had. I'd seen my entire future standing across a field I couldn't cross, belonging to a pack we were sworn to hate, looking at me with complete indifference because she had no idea what she was to me.
The meeting lasted an hour. I don't remember a word of it. I only remember her, the way she stood slightly behind her father but scanned our group like she was cataloging weaknesses. The way her hand rested on a concealed knife. The way she laughed once, quiet and quick, at something her brother Jake said.
The way my wolf whimpered when she turned and walked away.
Ray noticed I was distracted. "What's wrong with you today?"
"Nothing." Lie number two. "Just thinking we should've demanded better terms."
He bought it. Ray always trusted me completely.
That's what made the lying so much worse.
For three years, I watched from a distance. Pack meetings where Ray would rant about Blood Moon’s latest boundary violation, and I'd nod while my wolf screamed to cross those boundaries and find her. Nights when Ray would disappear and come back smelling like perfume and sex, and I'd wonder if he'd found someone, never knowing it was her until it was too late.
Then came the night at the club, where I saw Ray kissing her.
"She's incredible, Monty. I know it's forbidden as hell, but…" His face had been young with happiness. Vulnerable. "She's it for me. My mate."
I'd smiled. Clapped him on the shoulder. Said all the right things.
Inside, my wolf had started dying.
When he brought her to pack lands, corrupted bond mark fresh on her neck, I nearly shifted right there in the council room. The mate instinct roared so loud I couldn't hear anything else. But she was Ray's. He'd claimed her first. The bond I'd felt for three years didn't matter because he'd gotten there first.
So I buried it. Smiled. Welcomed her like she was just my Alpha's mate and nothing more.
Then everything went to hell. The revelation about their shared blood. The corrupted bond. Her body failing. And my wolf; my traitorous, desperate wolf, saw an opportunity.
When Elder Pascal asked who would volunteer to be her mate, I stepped out of the crowd before I could think.
Ray had looked at me like I'd stabbed him.
Maybe I had.
PRESENT
A sound from the bed pulls me back. Alicia's breathing changes, quickens. Her fingers curl into the sheets. A nightmare. I move before I can stop myself, crossing the room in three silent strides.
"Alicia." My hand hovers over her shoulder, not quite touching. "Hey. You're safe."
Her eyes snap open, honey-gold in the moonlight. They find me immediately, and the mate bond flares hot enough to steal my breath.
"Monty?" Her voice is sleep-rough, confused. "What are you doing here?"
"Watching over you." The truth comes easier than it should. "Making sure you're okay."
She pushes herself up to sitting, and the blanket falls away completely. She's wearing one of Ray's shirts, I can smell him on it, and nothing else. My wolf growls possessively.
"You don't have to do that," she says quietly. "I'm fine."
"You collapsed six hours ago." I finally let myself sit on the edge of her bed, careful to keep distance between us. "You're not fine. None of this is fine."
She pulls her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. She looked defendsive and scared but so goddamn beautiful it hurts to look at her.
"Were you really just watching me sleep?" Her eyes search mine, looking for the lie.
This is it. The moment I could tell her everything. Or I could do what I've done for three years, smile and deflect and hide.
"No," I hear myself say. "I was remembering the first time I saw you."
Her eyebrows lift slightly. “At the club?"
"Before that." My dimple shows, the one that always appears when I'm lying, except this time I'm telling the truth and it feels like a lie anyway. "Three years ago. Border negotiation. You were standing with your father, wearing a leather jacket and attitude like armor."
She goes very still. "I don't remember you."
"I know." I can't help the bitter edge to my smile. "Why would you? You were scanning our group for threats, cataloging faces. I was just another wolf in Ray's shadow." I lean forward, elbows on my knees. "But I saw you, Alicia. I saw you. And my wolf…"
I cut myself off. Too much. Too far.
"Your wolf what?" Her voice is barely a whisper.
"Recognized you." The words taste like confession. "My wolf recognized you as mate that day. Three years before Ray ever touched you. Three years before any of this."