Chapter 3

“That was so badass.” Jill rested her elbows on her bent knees and stared up at me in awe from her roost on the rock ledge overlooking the lake. “You told ‘em like it was, girl. Wasn’t she awesomely badass, Z?”

Zoe tore her gaze away from the magnificence of the waterfall and shifted her position on my favorite rock perch, sprawling back so she could look up at me. Not quite sure how I felt about her claiming my spot as her own, but I tamped down my irritation. She glanced back and forth between me and Jill, a reluctant smile tugging at her lips.

“She did okay. I thought you’d be a ragdoll pitted against your grandmother. She can be a tad formidable. But you held your own all right. Must have been my and Jill’s silent, yet persuasive aura.”

“Yeah, thanks for the backup, by the way,” I snorted sarcastically. “Obviously you two chatterboxes were the deciding factor in the clan’s decision about Starke.”

“We didn’t need to say anything. Our domineering presence did the work for us.”

Jill cracked up laughing at Zoe’s retort. I grinned, but laughter escaped me. I was too wound up as I paced back and forth by the lake’s edge. My boots made this annoying squelching sound every time I took a step through the damp grass and mud, but I tried to ignore it. My mind had too many other things to worry about. “Yeah, somehow, I don’t believe you two. If I did so good, why do I feel like I just made a huge mistake.”

Jill’s laughter tapered off as her sparkling eyes filled with concern. “What do you mean? What mistake? They had a kill on sight order on Starke, and you got that cancelled. How do you consider that a mistake?”

“I don’t.” I pinched the bridge of my nose, the niggling headache brewing there threatening to explode. “That was the only good thing I did accomplish. But you two don’t seem to realize what I did. I just offered all of us up to go to war. To retrieve the last elemental, save Starke, and go up against Asha. I just offered us up on a serving platter. You two should be mad as hell at me, not calling me badass.”

I watched my words sink in, but I didn’t quite get the reaction I totally expected. Instead of the anger or fear I had psyched myself for, they broke into identical grins.

“Is that what you think? That you offered us up to do this without our permission?” Zoe stood up, dusting her behind with her hands, her head tilted in question.

“Well, duh, that’s what I literally just said.”

“Well, duh, you’re an idiot,” she retorted. “We aren’t children. We both know what we’re getting into, Jette. It may not be the path we chose, or even want, but it is the path fate dictated for us. You didn’t ‘offer’ us up. Destiny already did that.”

“But what if I’m wrong? What if we are all wrong? What if Asha’s way is better than the way we have now? Let’s face it, none of the worlds we’ve been too are in the best of shape. Maybe her way is the better way. How do we know for sure?”

“Because she did not offer anyone a choice, and that is all we need, to know we are on the right side. We are the elementals. The multiverse needs out help. Starke needs our help. We also don’t have a choice. We have to be the heroes. There’s nobody else.”

I stared back at Zoe, into her eyes, into her very soul, our bonded link telling me she meant every word.

“Who are you and what did you do with the real Zoe?”

She shrugged. “Okay, I deserve that. I know I was a whiny little bitch when you guys found me. But I had a lot of years of hatred and fear festering in my soul. And I didn’t have the advantage of forgetting everything. Not like you two. I remembered the night Asha’s morquals attacked just like it was yesterday.”

The sadness etched in her face ripped at my heart. Maybe I was lucky after all for not carrying those memories. The distorted dream of events was bad enough.

“I’m sorry,” I threw her way.

She shrugged, blinking back tears, her moment of weakness gone. “Don’t be. It’s actually a good thing since it made me absolute in knowing what we have to do. Asha has to be taken down so no one else suffers what we suffered. And we need to save that stupid Fae, as arrogant as he is. Once this is all over, Endova is going to need someone with a good heart and a strong backbone to rule it.” Her lips twisted in a halfhearted attempt at a smile. “And as much as I don’t want to admit it, I think you’re right. I think he’s basically a good guy.”

I blinked at her. “Seriously, stop it with the niceness. You’re scaring me.”

“Aww.” Jill leaped to her feet and threw her arms around our necks in a smothering embrace, pulling our heads close to hers. “Look at us bonding like elemental sisters.”

“No, we are so not,” Zoe growled, shoving her none too gently. “Get off me, freak.”

Jill was having none of it. The shoving only made her throw both arms around Zoe’s neck tighter and hang off her like a spider monkey.

“Stop pretending, Z. You know you’re loving this.”

“Yeah, about as much as getting a tooth pulled.”

My laughter at their antics tapered off as another insecurity entered my head. “Are you guys sure you’re ready to jump to the next world? We will be doing this without Starke’s help or guidance. Do you really think we can do this?”

Their laughter faded as Zoe pulled herself from Jill’s grasp and ran a hand over her mused head of curls.

“I guess you couldn’t possibly know this, but we haven’t been sitting around twiddling our thumbs while you were off adventuring with Starke. The whole while you were gone, and while you were recuperating, we’ve been training. Satoga and Baylor trained us non-stop for days. Even Bishop joined in when he got back. We can handle our weapons well enough. And we learned some spells. Hell, Jill here can open a portal in no time. We’ve been trained enough to handle ourselves. And everything else about our power is inherent. Being an elemental has some benefits. So yeah, I think we got this.”

Jill nodded and jerked a thumb Zoe’s way. “Yeah, what Z said.”

I quirked a brow in surprise. Hearing that they had gone through such extensive training eased my fear some.

“So, you trained with Bish? That bo staff of his is a bitch, huh? Don’t you just love having bruises on top of bruises?”

They both met me with confusion.

“There was no training with a bo staff.” Jill was the one to answer.

“What? Seriously? You’re kidding me, right? Didn’t he train you guys with that instrument from hell?”

“No.” She shook her head. “We practiced on targets. Bishop was a real drill sergeant, but he got results. Zoe is on point with that bow of hers, and I can use my whip without catching everything around me on fire now. But there was no bo staff training.”

Hmph. So, that torture, aka training, was reserved just for me? How did I get to be so lucky? I’ll have to remember to thank Bish for that dubious honor. And on top of that, something else Jill said caught in my craw.

“Who taught you spells?” I couldn’t hide the jealousy in my voice. Even I didn’t get around to learning that, as much as I’d wanted to.

“Olla, the Faerie. She taught us aperi, which is open or appear. Perfect for when you want in and out of a locked area. She taught us refutos as a way to try and block someone else’s magic. And—"

“Okay, whatever,” I interrupted Jill, a little put out they knew more than I did. “I get the picture. As long as you two think you can handle yourselves for the next jump, then that’s good enough for me. I have a feeling convincing Sash to join us won’t be easy.”

“What do you mean?” Jill asked.

I placed my hands on my hips and shrugged. “From what I’ve glimpsed of him and his world, I think he’s actually happy where he is. He probably won’t be happy with us showing up and wanting to rip him away from all that. Especially when we tell him it includes helping fight a psychopathic queen and her flesh-eating dragons. Would you want to leave your happy little life for that?”

Jill’s typical look of confusion clouded her face. “But he is an elemental. Surely he will feel the pull of destiny and accept it like we all did.”

“Don’t be so stupid, Jill.” Zoe’s comment was laced with sarcasm. “We didn’t accept anything. We got forced into it. We didn’t have a choice. If he is content where he is, he’s not going to want to leave, no matter how we try to spin this. Secondly, he’s male, ‘nuff said. He’s going to be stubborn, and it won’t be easy to change his mind.” She averted her next question to me. “What do you suggest we do?”

I swallowed hard, not sure how to put this. “Starke touched on this. He told me we may have to take him against his will. I’ll try the mind meld thing with him first, like Starke did to you to make you see your destiny, but if that doesn’t work, we’ll have to pull him through kicking and screaming. We don’t have any other possibilities.”

“Kidnapping?” Jill’s face was the color of snow. “You want us to kidnap him?”

“Get over it already, kid,” Zoe snapped at her. “So, we take him against his will. He’ll come around once he realizes what he is. It’s better than the alternative, right?”

“Are you both willing to help me do that?” I asked, my gut curdling at my words. I needed their full support for this to work. Coming back without Sash was not an option. I didn’t like the idea of abducting the poor guy either, but I was willing to do whatever it took to get Starke back, including kidnapping.

“I have zero issues with this if it means taking Asha down.”

Zoe I was sure of. It was Jill who worried me. I watched her mull my question over in her head. I actually saw the moment her decision was made. She squared her shoulders, her brown eyes flashing fierce. “I can do whatever it takes. I am an elemental, and you two are my badass sisters. We got this.”

Hearing her words felt like a weight lifted from my chest. I had their cooperation. That wasn’t the problem. Actually seeing this crazy idea through? That was a whole other story.

## #

I don’t know how long it took me to fall asleep. Thoughts of our jump tomorrow raced through my head, trying to figure out the possible outcomes. The possible things that could go wrong. If we actually would have to abduct the poor guy. It wasn’t going to be an easy day.

I’d stared up at the stupid ceiling for so long I’d memorized every crack and water stain like the back of my hand.

But sometime during the night, I had fallen asleep. I knew it because I’d opened my eyes to find my lumpy bed now situated smack dab in the middle of a forest. The same spooky-ass forest where I’d first met my mother-ghost. I shivered as the weird déjà vu crawled over my skin. So, it was gonna be one of those nights. Man, I was missing my little white pills right about now.

Dream or not, the dampness of the fog covering my skin as I crawled out of bed felt real. The cold air nipping at the tip of my nose and ears felt real. The feel of my bare toes sinking into the mud felt damn real and totally disgusting. But instinctively, I knew I was dreaming. Just like I knew the voice would come, showing me the way. I stood in the darkness, the cold wind whipping around me, waiting impatiently. Hurry up, will ya?

“Inventient mihi.”

And there she was. Mama was here. About freakin’ time. Only this time, I wasn’t letting her get away without some damn answers. Enough with the cryptic bullshit already.

I followed her lyrical words through the trees, avoiding their frantic grasping this time. I wasn’t about to fall for that again. Finally, I stumbled into the opening with the lake, my mother’s ghostly form already corporeal and floating above the dark water like a giant firefly.

“Bridjette.” Her voice carried on the cool wind.

“Hey, Mama,” I retorted. “I was wondering when you would show up again.”

“Inventient mihi—"

“Find you, yes, I know,” I interrupted, wondering fleetingly if an apparition could be offended by rudeness. “You’ve told me that already. Why don’t you tell me how to do that? Do you want me to find your grave? Your spirit? A piece of you? I need a little bit more to go on here. I’m running out of time, in case you haven’t noticed. I could use a little help here.”

“Inventient mihi.” She sounded a little more frantic this time as her pulsating form shifted closer. Close enough for me to see her face fully. A face I remembered well from my dreams, the terror and all. The fear skipped across the lake to me, and I felt it smack me in the middle of my chest. I sucked in air, not understanding why I felt so scared.

“How do I find a dead woman? Tell me what to do.” My voice was high and shrill, but I couldn’t help myself.

My mother mumbled something, flickering in and out like she was about to disappear on me.

“No,” I yelled. “Don’t you dare go. Tell me how to find you.”

“Not…de…”

She flickered again, and I strained to hear.

“What… what did you say?”

“Find me… trust… in your… power…”

The flickering went crazy before she blinked one last time and popped from existence like a broken soap bubble.

“No, dammit,” I shrieked into the wind. “Not again.”

Why couldn’t I get answers from her? It was almost like something or someone was trying to keep her from me on purpose. And what had she said? Trust in my power? What did that even mean? Trust in my power for what? To land me in more hot water? Since that’s all this damn power appeared to be any good for.

Frustrated, I ran my hands through my hair and yelled at the empty air above the lake. “What did you mean, Mom? Come back and explain. We are not done here yet. Why are you making this so difficult?”

“She is gone beyond your reach, Jette.”

I stiffened at the sound of his voice at my back as a cold snake coiled around my spine. I wanted to turn and run, only I hadn’t decided on which way yet. Into the trees or into his arms? I knew I was damned terrified that when I turned, I would be faced with the obsidian eyes of a stranger. I knew instinctively that would break me. I struggled with the inner battle before the need to see him again overcame my swirling fear. I spun, holding my breath in anticipation.

He was just as I remembered. Black hair swept back from his golden skin. Arms crossed and head tilted, those brilliant green eyes meeting my gaze for a long terrible moment. A moment of… nothing. I couldn’t read him. Was he happy to see me? Did he want to kiss me or kill me? I couldn’t tell.

I took a few steps toward him without even thinking before my mind yelled at me to slow my roll. The last time I’d seen him, he threw me off a cliff. I wasn’t looking forward to a repeat of that, dream world or not.

I rooted in place and studied him warily.

“Am I dreaming you, or are you actually invading my head like Asha did? Are you here to harm me?”

He shrugged. “Do you feel threatened by me, Jette?”

I reached out for him, trying to feel his aura, to feel our connection like I always did before. There was nothing. No tingling of electricity. No magnetism. But no sense of danger either. It was like he really wasn’t here. I swallowed the lump of disappointment in my throat. I was dreaming him after all.

“I guess not,” I mumbled. “Then, why are you here?”

“You tell me. This is your dream.”

“Possibly just a figment of my imagination? A representation of my unconscious desires and wishes. Just my neurons misfiring, like always.”

He stepped toward me. “I’m here because you miss me, Jette. Plain and simple. I understand that. There’s a lot to be missed.”

“Hmm.” I raised my brow. “Your dream-self is as arrogant as your real-life self. Good to know.”

He chuckled and a wave of warmth flowed over me. God, I missed that sound.

“I can only act and speak as you dictate. Your dream, remember.”

That caught my interest. “Really? So, you’re telling me that I’m the master of this dream universe? That if I wanted you to tap dance around naked, I could make you do it?”

“You could. But you wouldn’t need to make me do anything. All you have to do is ask. Your wish is my command.”

My sarcastic snort of laughter echoed across the lake. “Yeah, I somehow doubt that since you threw me off a cliff. That was not exactly you obeying my command.”

He ducked his head. “Yes, that truly was unfortunate.”

“Unfortunate?” I scoffed. “You almost killing me was unfortunate? Seriously? That’s all you have to say?” I was all too aware of the quaver in my voice as my anger began to brew. “They say you didn’t even bother to look for me. You didn’t even care if I was alive. Like you forgot all about me after you tossed me over the cliff. How is that even possible after all we’ve been through? How could you just not care?”

I swallowed, trying to push my anger and uncertainty down. It got stuck in my throat.

He furrowed his brow. “That question is irrelevant, Jette. Convoluted and pointless. I cannot give you the real reason for that since I am not really here. This is your dream version of me. I can only answer what you want, or perhaps fear, to hear.”

“And stop trying to lecture me in my own damn dream.”

“Again, this is all your doing—"

“Just shut up,” I snarled. “If you can’t give me a real answer then don’t say anything at all. Get the hell out of my dream, asshole.”

I glared at him as he stared calmly back.

“It is not your fault, little rabbit.”

I blinked in confusion as a wave of hopeful relief washed over me. “What?”

He stepped closer, his smoky pine scent encasing me. I breathed him in deep. It felt so damn real. I wanted it so badly to be real. Tears pricked at my eyes, and I sniffed them away.

“What happened wasn’t your fault. Isn’t that what you want to hear me say?”

“I…” I broke off. He was right. Even though I knew his words was just him regurgitating my own deep-down desire, I needed to hear him say it. I wanted him to ease some of my pain and guilt. “Yes,” I croaked.

His lips tilted into a beautiful smile. He reached out and ran the back of his hand down my cheek. I closed my eyes, leaning into his touch.

“It wasn’t your fault. What happened, the blame lies with Asha. I know you think it was your doing. I know you fear that you’ve lost me, that I’m gone forever and may never return, but you must not lose hope. You need to fight those deep-seated fears. They are dark and dangerous, Jette. You cannot let them control you.”

His touch felt like butterfly wings against my skin, even as his next words came slow and venomous.

“Or else those fears may become a deadly reality.”

My eyes shot open, my scream echoing through the trees as I met his black onyx glare. I stumbled and tried to back away, but his hand shot out and gripped my wrist with pure steel. A knife appeared in his other fist. I glimpsed it seconds before it punched into my chest. My eyes went wide, my scream frozen on my lips as a trail of blood seeped down my chin. Gasping for air, I clutched at his hand still holding the knife, even as my knees wobbled and my vision faded.

Starke’s black eyes flamed with delight as he smiled and jerked the blade free, and I slumped to the ground, unmoving and breathless.

Gasping, I bolted upright from my bed, my hand scrabbling for the hole in my chest. Sucking in air, my nasally whistles finally eased off as I realized there was no wound. None of it was real. Not my mom, not the forest, not Starke. Or him killing me. It was all in my head.

My breathing and heart rate slowing down from hyperventilation mode, I laid back in my bed, staring up at the ceiling. Wiping the sweat from my lip, I replayed the dream over in my head. I knew it for what it was. Just a stupid manifestation of my guilt and my belief that I needed to be punished for what happened. Doc Howard would be proud of my self-diagnosis. Not that it mattered, but it did help me understand what just happened.

Starke had been totally right. Well, not so much the stabbing part; I could have done without that bit of drama. But he’d spoken the truth. I did need to let go of these deep-seated fears. I couldn’t let my guilt and fear get in the way, or else I would doom us before we’d even begun. I needed to be stronger. Smarter. Tougher. I needed to pull myself together if I was going to beat Asha at her own game. I needed to convince myself of my innocence since I sure as hell didn’t want any more dream visits with killer Starke, aka my guilt. Now, if only I could persuade my stupid brain to listen for once.