Chapter 12

By the time we stumbled back into the cabin, Starke’s shirt was alarmingly soaked with his blood. I was surprised to see it run as ruby red as mine. I figured dark Starke’s would be as murky as his soul.

I pretty much dragged him the last couple of feet to the bed. He dropped heavily onto the mattress. His usually ruddy complexion was ashen, and a sheen of sweat covered his skin. He didn’t look good at all.

I pushed his jacket aside. The shirt was pretty much a lost cause. The creature’s claws had seen to that.

“I need to look at your wound. I’m just going to cut the shirt off.”

He nodded once in agreement as he muttered, “Knife in my bag.”

I left him for a moment to retrieve the bag from where I’d dropped it outside. Even in the minute I was gone, he seemed to have deteriorated. Without hesitation I cut the shirt away and immediately gagged as a terrible smell hit my nose. The slash in his skin went from the top of his shoulder down to his abdomen and was covered in a frothy yellowish-green, mixing with the scarlet blood.

I glanced up at Starke in horror. “What’s happening here? There’s no way this cut is infected already.”

“Nehite excrete poison through their claws,” he gasped. “It’s how they take down magical beings. We need to stop the spread before it reaches my heart.”

“You couldn’t tell me that sooner?” I hissed in panic. “Okay… uh… I can do the magic spell you used on me, yes? Heligheas?”

“No.” His grip was firm as he grabbed my wrist. “That is blood magic. You cannot use that. Asha will trace it.”

He gasped again, like it was hard for him to breathe.

“Then, what?” I shrieked. “What can I do? I don’t know how to help you.”

“You must… stop my heart.”

I stared at him stupefied. “Excuse me? You want me to kill you? Are you delirious or something right now?”

“I will die, but only for a slight moment… then, you restart it again. That is… the only way to stop the poison from spreading.”

“No.” I shook my head. “I can’t do that. First of all, I’m not strong enough. Secondly, well, it’s necromancy. Everyone knows you don’t touch that juju.”

“It is the only way…”

“No.”

“Bridjette, I don’t have much time.” His voice was a lot calmer than mine would have been.

“Then, use blood magic on yourself.” A hinge of hysteria tinged my voice. “Who cares if Asha finds us as long as you stay alive. You’re running out of options. Blood magic is a lot more trustworthy then putting your life in my hands. I’m not killing you.”

He grabbed my hand, his palm surprisingly warm. “My blood magic will not work… since my blood is poisoned right now. I am powerless. This is the only way. You can do this.”

“That’s a bold-faced lie.”

He tried to grin, but it turned to a painful grimace. “You will not fail me, just like you did not jump and leave me in the forest to die.”

I jumped guiltily at his words. “You knew what I was thinking?”

“Always. But if you really wish for me to live you have to do this. You can do this. You… are strong. Use arreste to stop my heart. Wait five seconds, then sileo to bring… me back. That should be… enough to stop the poison. Integro will suffice after that.”

“Starke…”

He squeezed my hand. “I trust you. Now, do it. The poison… is spreading. It will soon… be too late. You owe me. I… saved your stupid ass out there.”

He wasn’t wrong. Trust him to rub it in even on his deathbed.

“Crap. Crap. CRAP!” I yelled. Leaving his side, I grabbed the sai I had dropped on the table on the way in. If I was going to do this, I needed all the help I could get. By the time I got back to his side, he was trembling uncontrollably, and a tiny dribble of froth was forming on his lips. There was no time. I tamped my panic down and drew in my magic, my sai thrumming in my hands.

His green eyes were resolute as they stared into mine, as he placed my trembling hand holding the sai against his heart. “Say it.”

I swallowed hard.

“Arreste,” I whispered, terrified for the word to leave my lips. It didn’t matter that it was barely a whisper. The magic took over, and hollowness yawned in my chest as his breathe left his body in a quiet sigh and the light faded from his eyes. I swallowed down the blind panic threatening to engulf me.

Sweat broke out on my top lip as I stopped the hysterical shriek building in my gut. Five seconds he said. I began counting the seconds out loud the way I’d learned as a child.

“One Mississippi, two Mississippi…”

As soon as the last Mississippi dropped from my lips, I yelled the next spell, “Sileo!”

Nothing happened.

No.

“Sileo,” I shrieked again.

His body remained motionless.

Oh God. Oh God! I killed him. He trusted me to do this, and I killed him.

Concentrate. Bring him back.

My panicked mind pulled frantically at the magic surrounding me. I needed to bring him back, and to hell with the consequences. If I let dark Starke die, then I would be killing my Starke too, and there was no way in hell I was doing that. Dropping my sai in my lap I placed my hands flat against his still warm chest. Channeling my energy, I felt the dark magic I was calling upon jumping through my veins, tingling down my arms into my fingertips. I ignored how the runes on my arm lit up like they knew what was about to happen and they were excited by the prospect.

“Heligheas.”

I shut my magic down instantly and his body jerked as if someone had pulled on a ripcord attached to his chest.He bolted upright, sucking in air between the gasping and coughing. His eyes darted around in confusion like he wasn’t quite aware of his surroundings, and he tensed, about to bolt off the bed. I blinked back tears of relief as I placed my hands on his shoulders.

“Hey, hey, you’re okay. Calm down.” I wiped the sweat from my lip. “Damn, I thought I’d lost you,” I added shakily.

I watched realization seep into his face as his gaze focused on me.

“Jette?” he questioned. He glanced down at his bloody chest. “What happened?”

“You were attacked by creatures. Nehite, I think you called them? Don’t you remember?”

“Nehite? So, we are on Karam?” He glanced around the cabin, the confusion on his face matching my own. “Shay’s cabin.”

His memory caused a flickering in my chest, but I refused to let the hope take root.

“Yes, and you are injured. Lie back. Let me have a look.”

He complied without argument, lying back and silently watching me.

I did a few spells of integro, watching in awe as the frothiness ebbed away and the wound stopped bleeding.

I stood up and fetched the bandages and ointment he had treated me with from the table. He raised a brow at me in question as I sat back down beside him.

“Just to be on the safe side, yeah?”

He nodded as I opened the bottle, the stringent aroma burning my nose. Soaking the cloth, I gently began wiping the blood away from the wound. The wound was massive, cutting through the runes on his chest like a red line through a road map. But the magic was already knitting it together. It wouldn’t take long to heal.

I knew he was watching me. I could feel his eyes burning the top of my head, but I refused to look up. I concentrated on my task.

“You say I was injured by a Nehite? Nehite talons contain poison and can incapacitate magi within minutes. Why am I not dead?”

The words took me by surprise. I stopped my ministrations for a second before resuming them. “You don’t remember?”

“Obviously. I would not ask otherwise.”

“Still a smartass,” I mumbled. “You made me stop your heart to halt the poison running through your blood.”

“Extreme but effective.” He didn’t appear the least bit surprised, like asking someone to stop his heart was an everyday occurrence. “And why are we on Karam?”

What in hades was going on here?

Laying down the bottle of antiseptic and cloth, I narrowed my eyes. “Starke, what is the last thing you remember?”

“Uh…” His face went completely blank. “I remember finding you in the woods. And then, Asha finding us and dragging us to her.” His eyes went wide in panic. “She had the wagon, and she almost killed Bishop…”

“No. No, Bish is fine. Don’t worry.” My heart sped up in my chest. “But… is that really your last memory? Truly? Are you playing me?”

His brow puckered with confusion. “Playing you?”

Oh. My. God. Was he serious right now? Did he not remember evil Starke?

“Yeah, because I can’t take any more confusion from you. One minute you act like my Starke, treating me with kindness, then the next minute, the Hulk takes over and you go back to acting like my jailor again.”

“Jailor? I don’t know what you’re talking about. Why are we here? And how did we get here since the last thing I remember is being on the mountain top and…” His words halted as he grabbed my wrist and flipped my arm around, the evening sunlight filtering through the window above the bed displaying the runes in all their glory.

“No,” he hissed in horror, like his worst nightmare had just come true. His gaze lifted to mine, and I could see all the terror and disbelief bubbling up inside of him. “It can’t be true. Please tell me I didn’t become that monster.”

His disbelief evolved to self-loathing as I watched his memories come rushing back.

“No. No. No.” He closed his eyes as if in pain and laid back on the pillow.

“Starke.” I reached out for him, to give him comfort, but his grief-filled eyes stared at me in horror as he turned away.

“Do not touch me. I do not deserve your sympathy.”

“Hey.” I grabbed his chin, turning his head my way.

He tried to fight me.

“Hey,” I said again, forcing him to look at me. “You look at me and listen up real good. None of what happened was your fault. Do you hear me? So, stop hiding behind your guilt just because you don’t want to face what’s happened.” I expected some pushback at that. He just kept staring, so I got a little bolder. “If anyone should be consumed with guilt, it should be me. But we don’t have the time nor the luxury for that right now, understood? Face it and kick it to the curb. We can’t change anything that’s happened. We were both weak. We both made mistakes.We just need to learn from it and move on. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get over it. We need to fix things. I need levelheaded, adage-spouting Starke back.”

He tried to jerk away from me, but I refused to let go, placing my palms on either side of his face. Thankfully, the panic in his gaze slowly ebbed away, replaced by the calm I desperately needed to see.

“There you are,” I sighed.

“I’m so sorry, Jette,” he whispered, his face expressing his deep sorrow. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I… what I’ve done to you.”

I ran my hand along his stubbled cheek, the anguish on his face breaking my heart. “It wasn’t your fault. Do you hear me? Everything you did, you did to save me. If anyone is to blame, it’s me.”

“I should have been stronger.” He kept talking as if he hadn’t even heard me. “I should have been able to fight her. I broke my promise to Shay. To you. To myself. To my father. He never would have fallen so easily. Asha was right. I would have been a disappointment to him. He never would have let this happen. He never would have let her win like I did.” His sad gaze locked with mine. “You must hate me for everything I’ve put you through.”

“No. That’s not true.” I cupped his cheek again and held his gaze firm with mine. I wanted him to see the sincerity behind my words. “And who cares what your father would have done? Don’t let anybody who hasn’t been in your shoes tell you how to tie the laces, understand? You did what you had to do. If it wasn’t for you, I’d be under Asha’s control right now. If anyone was weak it was me. You saved me. You sacrificed yourself for me. I could never hate you for that. You are the best thing that has happened to me in a very long time, Starke Ryhill.”

My hands slipped lower to his chest, my palm flat against his heart.

“And even under the control of your mother, you still had my best interests at heart. You kept me from her. Even if you weren’t aware of it, you protected me. That took strength and kindness and goodness. That’s what makes you who you are.”

He closed his eyes for a brief moment, sucking in a breath like he didn’t quite know how to respond to my admission. When they opened again, they were they were brilliant green with his unshed tears.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“For what?”

He sat up, grasping my hands in his as he leaned closer to me, his mouth incredibly close to mine. “For saving my life. For not giving up on me. For trusting in me.”

“Right back at ya.” I laughed nervously but didn’t dare move. His breath was so warm on my lips. “If it weren’t for you, I’d be some weird grizzly-ape’s dinner right about now.”

He dipped his head, and I held my breath in anticipation, but all he did was lean his brow against mine. “I guess that’s what we do, huh? We look out for each other. Like Romeo and Juliet.”

“Um, not a good comparison,” I whispered, my heart pounding in the best way possible. “That was more of a tragedy than a love story, so maybe not?”

“Is that what we are, little rabbit? A love story?” He pulled away slightly, his gaze boring deep into mine, like he could see right through to my soul.

“I…” I didn’t quite know how to respond. I was breathing way too fast and unable to answer since I was too caught up in what was happening within me. Something was changing between us. I knew this was my Starke. I knew he had gained control over dark Starke. He was back, and I knew I wanted to show him how damn happy I was over that in the most primal way possible.

“Yeah, I kind of think we are,” I finally managed to croak.

“I agree.” His voice thickened as goosebumps pimpled my skin. A tiny shiver encapsulated me as his hands slowly moved up my arms, caressing my shoulder blades and neck. His touch left a trail of fire in its wake. His palms felt calloused from years of holding a blade, but his fingertips were soft and smooth as they traced the shape of my lips. He studied my face like he was memorizing every inch of it.

“I dreamt of you. Even when the darkness clouded my head making it impossible to think and my heart felt like it was encased in stone, you were always there. Prickling at my memories. Buried underneath my skin. It was always you.”

“You remembered me?”

“Yes. Your face. Your voice. Your scent. Just when I believed I would never find my way back through the dark, you would come to me. You kept me from losing myself completely. And for that I owe you more than you will ever know.” He pulled my hand to his mouth, his lips grazing my knuckles.

“Starke?”

“Yes?”

“Lips are for kissing. Knuckles are not. So, stop talking and kiss me already.”

He chuckled softly. “I want nothing more than that, but I don’t think you realize what will happen if I do.”

My head spun with dizziness and excitement as my breath hitched. “What will happen?”

He stared at me with an intensity filled with a magnetic pull I couldn’t ignore. I felt myself leaning closer, compelled by the urge to press my body against his.

“I’ve wanted you for a long time, Jette. Kissing you will not be enough. I desire all of you, body and soul. I need to know you want that as well. I need to know you’re ready for that.”

I shivered at the bluntness and honesty of his words. They didn’t shock me, but his obvious want for me did. I never considered myself an attractive person, but the desire etched in his face made my knees weak.

“I am,” I answered.

He sucked in a sharp breath. “Do you know what I’m asking of you? Are you positive?”

I’d never been more sure of anything in my life. “I’m not a child, Starke. I know all about the birds and bees, so don’t think you’re taking advantage of me. I’ve had too many moments of thinking I’d lost you forever, and the one thing I’ve realized from that? Life is fickle. I need you right now, just like I need air to breathe, so no more wasting time.”

I knew from the moment I asked him to kiss me what the consequences would be. Just like I knew I wanted it to happen. Everything else going on in this crap world—the war, being an elemental, expected to help save the multiverse—none of that I had control over. None of that I had a say in. But this? This was my decision, and there would be no regrets.

“You are very convincing, little rabbit, but don’t we have a village to save?” Even now, in the heat of the moment, he put others above his own desires.

“We have two days,” I breathed. “I don’t think we’ll need that long.”

“I love you, Bridjette O’Hare,” he whispered, his voice thick. “And I’ll never forget that again.”

In a heartbeat, I was squished against his chest and his mouth was on mine. There was nothing timid or unsure about the kiss. It was all about our need to show one another we would never be apart again. It was like drowning in a sea of desire, unable to think, to breathe. The kiss deepened as he crushed my lips with his need to have more of me. His tongue probed mine, and the groan it elicited from me was primal. I held on tight, kissing him back, and just when I thought I’d never taste air again, he pulled away.

Everything was a blur after that. I don’t know who undressed who first, it was just a frenzy of bare skin and hot kisses. I suddenly found myself being lowered onto the feather mattress while his gaze soaked in every bare inch of me.

“You’re so beautiful.” His voice thrummed along my skin.

Heat rushed through me at his words, even as my eyes strayed over his golden skin and long, lean muscles. The runes had multiplied since the last time I’d seen his naked chest so long ago in the hot springs under the abbey, but the sight of them didn’t deter me. They only reminded me of the hard battle he had fought and won. They were a badge of honor, not something to be afraid of. My finger traced the pink scar down his chest to his abdomen. My gaze drifted even lower, and I sucked in air as I bit my lip.

Oh my.

“Have you ever been told it is rude to stare?” His laughter rumbled in his chest.

I tore my attention away, and his laughter died off as he stared down at me. His eyes seemed almost luminous as they reflected the wanton desire burning in mine.

“I love you, Starke,” I breathed just seconds before his lips claimed mine in a way that sent pleasure pulsing through me.

And even as I reveled in our love, I knew our bliss wouldn’t last for long. Tomorrow, reality would bitch-slap us so hard our heads would spin. But that was tomorrow. Tonight, there was nothing more important than us.