Chapter 58 Grace Gone for Good
Things seemed like they were all coming together with Grace at the homestead. She seemed to have warmed up to being in the mountains again. The long months away from each other had made them both hungry for the sharing of their company. Their lovemaking was as intense and passionate as it had ever been. It seemed to Evan that things had finally been settled between them and that she had come back to stay. He let the summer pass without discussing the prospect, because he did not want to throw something in the middle of the wonderful time that they had been having together. They were happy. Why mess with it? Still, he understood that at some point they would have to breach the subject. The right opportunity came the day that he signed the papers for the purchase of Ryan’s place near town. It was the perfect size for a couple and a couple of kids and would be a good place to winter his horses. It was probably the only way that he could convince Grace to stay on during the winter. There was no way that she could make it at the homestead. The way that things were between him, this might be the one thing that would have the final sway for her.
“I’ve got something to show you,” he said. He spent about as much time as he really wanted to at the Arts and Crafts Show while he was trying to find her. He had used the show as a way to keep her occupied while he signed the papers on Ryan’s house. He knew that she would want to stay there all day, and he also knew that he would be bored to death if he stayed there with her. He enjoyed a few of the pieces of art, but once he had looked at a few things, he was pretty well satisfied and could move on. Grace, however, seemed to have to touch every item and talk to every artist.
“You have something to show me?” she asked.
“Yep, a little surprise,” he said. “Come on, get in the pickup, and I’ll show you.” After he went around to several different vendors to pick up things that she had bought and had them set aside for her, they were ready to go.
“This is the house that Ryan is working on,” she said. “I’ve been wanting to see how it turned out. Has he gotten a buyer for it yet?”
“Sort of,” he grinned. He wanted to spring it on her after they were inside.
“What do you mean, sort of?”
“Well, he said something about having a contract on it,” he lied. It was only a partial lie, but it was enough to satisfy her question.
Ryan was a great craftsman, and she was extremely impressed with his work in the kitchen and the bathroom, mostly, but the other little touches that he added to the closets and the entertainment center that he had built against one wall were just as impressive. The space was open, but comfortable. “With the fireplace loaded with wood, it would be a cozy place to hide out during the winter,” he commented.
“I can almost hear the crackling and popping of the wood now,” she said.
“Good,” he said. “Then you will enjoy it even more this winter.”
“What?” The words had taken her completely by surprise. Was he suggesting that they would be coming here to visit, or was something else going on? “Why would I be enjoying it this winter?”
“I bought it,” he said. “We can move in this fall after the cattle are all in and we won’t have to deal with the winter up at the homestead.” He studied her face. It went from confusion to sadness in a matter of seconds.
“I can’t stay here, Evan,” she said.
The shock of her words was like a brace of snow falling down the back of his shirt. He stared at her without words for a long moment. He thought that things were great between them. They had been great, but nothing had really changed. They were from two different worlds. He had been blinded by his desire to have her with him again. He braced himself. He loved her, and he would do what it took, but this was like a slap in the face. “I see,” he mumbled.
“You should have said something to me about it,” she said.
“I wanted to surprise you,” he said.
“Hell of a surprise,” she replied. “You are so sweet that way. It’s one of the many things that I love about you, but let’s face it, I can’t live here.”
“Then I’ll...”
“No,” she interrupted, reading his mind. “You won’t come back with me. You can’t live there. It’s time that we face the music, Evan.”
He fell silent. No words seemed to form for him as he looked at her. He had fooled himself into thinking that she had come back to him for good. It had felt that way all summer long.
“I had hoped that you would come back with me,” she said, expressing the exact opposite of his own thoughts. “When I came out here this summer, I hoped to rekindle that flame and then see if you would come home with me. I realized, however, that you’re happy here and you would be miserable there.”
“Why didn’t you say something?” he asked.
“I was enjoying the moment,” she said. “We both were. Neither of us wanted to interrupt that with reality.”
“That’s true,” he whispered.
“Here’s the reality,” she said. “We come from different worlds, and we both have to hold on to our own. I love that you are willing to do whatever it takes to keep us together, but I would feel guilty about it and come to despise you if you came back with me. Deep down, you know that the same would happen to you if I stayed.”
She was right. Evan fought with duty and honor, and love all at the same time. He had to let her go, again. The hope that had been in his heart all summer long was crushed against the stone wall of reality. He wished with all his might that he could change that reality, but it simply wasn’t possible. Grace had laid it out for him pretty clearly, and though he wanted to argue the point, he knew that what she said was the truth, and he was completely defenseless against the power of it.
Things began to cool off between them over the next few days. Both were struggling with letting go and hanging on at the same time. After three days, Grace decided that it was best that she go back to New York early. She had planned on being there another few weeks, but circumstances had changed, and they realized that it was only going to be harder to part. Just like the summer before, Evan packed her up, helped her package some of her things to ship back to New York, and the rest she carried in her bags. Just like the summer before, they said goodbye at the bus station while they both fought back the tears. Just like the summer before, he slid behind the steering wheel and returned to the homestead in his pickup alone.