Chapter 46 Reconciliation
Wrestling a saddle from its rack was heavy and awkward, especially with the walking boot encasing her foot. But she managed, dragging it out and heaving it onto Dash’s back. "I’ll show her," she muttered, a mantra repeated with each cinch and buckle, ensuring everything was perfectly in place. This wasn't just about riding; it was an act of rebellion, a reclaiming of herself.
Once Dash was saddled, she led him out to the arena. Evelyn was already there, circling another horse in slow, lazy patterns, seemingly oblivious to Alexandra’s arrival. Ignoring her, Alexandra guided Dash to the mounting block – a sturdy set of three steps used by children and handicapped riders during the weekly therapy classes held in the arena. Dash, familiar with its purpose, stood patiently as Alexandra struggled up the steps, her injured foot protesting, and then eased herself onto his back.
Her initial anger had served as a powerful anaesthetic, temporarily numbing the persistent nerves that had plagued her since the accident. She was in the saddle, her right foot already finding the stirrup, turning Dash away from the block, before the tremor of fear finally returned. She sat for a moment, trembling slightly, a cascade of potential dangers flashing through her mind. But as Evelyn and her horse passed by, a fleeting glance exchanged, Alexandra stiffened her spine, remembering her pride, the defiant resolve that had propelled her this far.
She urged Dash forward, following Evelyn’s path, then gave him a gentle tap. The gelding responded, his pace quickening. They surged past Evelyn, Alexandra pointedly not looking, though she felt the other woman’s gaze follow her. As the familiar rhythm of a horse in motion enveloped her, her nerves began to melt away. After a few laps around the arena, even the anger at Evelyn had dissipated, replaced by a profound sense of peace. She was back in the saddle, truly back, and she had never felt so wholly herself. Evelyn, the argument, everything faded, supplanted by the singular, immersive joy of riding.
They rode in the same arena, two figures moving in parallel, yet they were worlds apart. No words were exchanged, no eye contact made. Each woman focused on her own riding, her own private thoughts. Yet, beneath Evelyn’s stoic facade, a secret pride bloomed. She turned her head away as Alexandra approached, maintaining her outward indifference, but her heart softened at the sight. She could discern the pure joy on Alexandra’s face, a radiant glow that made Evelyn’s lips curve into a brief, unconscious smile when she glanced up and caught sight of her at the far end of the arena. Quickly, she reset her jaw, looking away as Alexandra drew near again.
Evelyn worked two more horses, her gaze subtly returning to Alexandra, who continued to ride Dash for several hours. The younger woman was utterly relaxed, a serene expression Evelyn hadn’t seen on her face since – she winced at the memory – since the day of the accident. Observing Alexandra’s newfound peace, Evelyn replayed their earlier encounter. Her words had been too harsh, she decided. Alexandra had made a mistake, a serious one in a barn full of horses, and it couldn't be ignored entirely, but the verbal lashing had been uncalled for.
She resolved to fix it. As Alexandra approached her end of the arena once more, Evelyn pulled on her reins, bringing her horse to a halt. "Alex?" she said, her voice softer than it had been all day.
Alexandra paused, her gaze fixed on Evelyn. Her jaw remained stubbornly set, a testament to her wounded pride, even as she looked up.
“I shouldn’t have spoken to you that way,” Evelyn admitted, her voice softer than Alexandra expected. “I’m truly sorry.” The rigid lines of Alexandra’s face visibly eased.
“I shouldn’t have left it out,” Alexandra replied, the knot of anger loosening in her chest. “I’m sorry too.”
Evelyn pressed on, her genuine remorse evident. “It’s dangerous, and I know you know that, but I absolutely should not have treated you the way I did. You are, in fact, incredibly responsible and rarely make mistakes. You didn’t deserve that. I’ve just been…”
“Are you angry at me?” Alexandra interrupted, deciding this was the perfect moment to unearth the underlying tension that had been simmering between them.
Evelyn blinked, a slight frown creasing her forehead. “What? I was, for a moment, but not now.”
“I don’t mean now,” Alexandra clarified, her gaze unwavering. “I mean… for weeks now, you’ve seemed so tense, almost angry. Maybe you’re tired of picking up my slack? I promise, I’ll pull more of my weight. You won’t have to do those things anymore. I just… I don’t like you being angry with me.”
“I’m not angry with you,” Evelyn insisted.
“No? Then what is going on?”
A sigh escaped Evelyn, heavy with unspoken burdens. “I’m getting ready for the circuit. Some of my horses aren’t quite where they need to be. We’re only a week out from the first show, and we’re not ready. I need to be ready. This is my year. If this place is going to survive, I have to do well.”
Alexandra’s eyes widened, her earlier concerns instantly overshadowed. “The circuit? What do you mean, ‘survive’? Are we in trouble?”
Evelyn suddenly realized the vast chasm of unspoken information between them. She’d never truly explained the rodeo and show circuit, or that the meager income from boarding, arena rentals, and lessons barely kept the stable afloat. Their real livelihood, the future of the entire operation, hinged on her success in the upcoming competitions. She searched for the right words to bridge the gap.
“Alexandra, for most of spring, summer, and a good chunk of fall, I compete in horse shows and rodeos. They often run concurrently. The prize money from the shows helps, but the real leverage comes from selling horses or making contacts for training clients. In about a week, we’ll be packing up to begin the circuit. We won’t be here for several months, and when we do return, it’ll likely be for short stints before we’re off again. I should have explained this to you sooner.” She paused, reflecting on her recent behavior. She’d been so intensely focused, so absorbed in her own world, that she hadn’t considered how her stress might have manifested. “I’ve been driving myself hard, completely consumed. I probably did seem angry, but it’s really just… intense concentration and a little too much stress. But do you want to know something uplifting?”
“What?” Alexandra asked, drawn in by the shift in Evelyn’s tone.
“Watching you get on that horse today, seeing you so utterly at peace and happy in the saddle… it was a profound encouragement. I knew you were afraid, but you still did it. What got you past those knots in your stomach? I’ve been there myself; I know how hard it is to get back up after an accident like yours.”
“Honestly?” Alexandra chuckled, a genuine laugh bubbling up. “I didn’t even notice the nerves, because I was so royally pissed off at you.”
“Well, in that case,” Evelyn laughed, a rich, hearty sound that chased away the last remnants of tension. “I’m not sorry I spoke to you that way, then.” She winked, and for a brief, warm moment, they shared a laugh, the air cleared between them. “Tell you what, I know a fantastic steakhouse in Reno. Best food you’ll ever eat west of Pittsburgh. Let’s get cleaned up and celebrate. By God, we are going to have one hell of a year. I can just feel it.”
“You’re the boss,” Alexandra grinned, her earlier resentment completely evaporated. They guided their horses towards the mounting block, and Alexandra dismounted, taking a moment to adjust to being on her feet again, her walking boot a familiar, cumbersome presence. “Hey, Evelyn,” she called out as they started towards the barn, leading their horses side-by-side. “Just tell me what I need to do to help you. You’re the best there is, and I believe in you. You are going to have an awesome year.”
“Not me,” Evelyn corrected, a new light in her eyes. “We are going to have an awesome year. Alex, you’ve already done an incredible amount to help me win. Watching your attitude these past months, seeing you fight your way back… it made me realize that if I work as hard and stay as focused as you have been, then I will have a great year.”
“That’s all well and good, but I want to be more than just encouragement,” Alexandra insisted, her voice firm with resolve. “I want to physically help you. Just tell me what to do. We’ll do this together. Deal?”
“Deal,” Evelyn confirmed, a wide smile spreading across her face. “Let’s get these horses put away and get cleaned up. We’ll talk about the details on our way to Reno.”
They walked the rest of the way to the barn in companionable silence, unsaddling their horses with a shared sense of purpose. Each was lost in their own thoughts, contemplating the imminent future. Alexandra tried to envision the whirlwind of Evelyn’s circuit life, while Evelyn pondered the best ways to integrate Alexandra. Tending to the horses, grooming them, and having them prepped for quick class changes were undoubtedly crucial tasks Alexandra could manage with a little training, but Evelyn felt a growing need to involve her even more deeply.
“Evelyn?” Alexandra’s voice broke the quiet.
“Yes?”
“Thanks for everything,” Alexandra said, her gratitude heartfelt. “You’ve helped me in ways I’ll never be able to repay.”
“Don’t mention it,” Evelyn answered, a twinkle in her eye. “If we’re going to have a great season, you’ll have plenty of opportunity to repay it, and then some. Now, let’s get our asses smelling pretty and presentable, and go get a steak the size of your head.”