Check your wiring

Check your wiring
She was becoming agitated. Just once I’d like to come here and tell her she didn’t have a ghost problem without it becoming hostile.

“Get your wiring checked. You could have a short.”

“There is nothing wrong with my wiring!” She jumped up, pointing a finger at me. Fine. She wanted to escalate, so would I. I jumped up and pointed a finger at her.

“I highly doubt that!” Biting back the urge to tell her what was wrong with her wiring. I continued in a more professional tone. “The house is from the fifties! You need to have it checked. It might still be the knob wiring in here! You need to check the plumbing too.”

“You are always so impertinent! You know the way out.” She flicked the finger that was pointing at me towards the door.

“A pleasure, as always Kitty.” I said on my way out the door.

Through the door I heard her yell “It’s Kathrine!”

I giggled all the way to my Jeep. I know it was wrong to taunt her, but this was my fourth trip here in six months. It was my turn to yell when I got in.

“You really should show more respect to your elders.” Grandma Eleanor was in the passenger seat. I stared at her in disbelief. She had refused to deal with batty old women like Kitty when she was alive. She had no patience for those that wanted to be haunted and only worked with people that she felt deserved her help. “Have you spoken to your mother?”

“Talk to her all the time.” I received a dirty look for my flippant tone. When it became clear I wasn’t going to say anything else, she sighed.

“Has she told you what she is thinking of doing to my sewing room?” Her voice was heavily colored with disapproval mixed with exasperation. Uh oh. Things were about to get really ugly. I decided my best avenue was to play ignorant.

“She hasn’t mentioned anything specific.” I put the Jeep in first and resisted the urge to peel out as I pulled away from the gingerbread house that contained a nut.

“She wants to turn it into a yoga room! I didn’t raise her to be so hippy dippy. She wants to put a Zen fountain in there! What will people think?” The horror in tone was almost funny. She had never worried about how her behavior affected us. But boy howdy, don’t let anything we did make her look bad amongst her old biddy friends.

“Granny, it’s her house now. She can do whatever she wants with it so long as daddy agrees. Besides, yoga is good for our kind. Helps keep our minds clear.” I knew I’d misspoken when her eyes iced over. Damnit! She’d managed to drag me into the fight!

“No one ever takes my side. It would be nice if just once, one of you stuck up for me and what I want.” With a pathetic sounding sniff, she disappeared from my passenger seat. I texted mom while trying to keep the car in my lane. Once she was warned that she was being spied on, I texted Jesse to let him know I’d left my hell and was on my way to meet him and our offspring.