Chapter 34 Part 34
Asher
When the kettle whistled on the stove, Asher turned the heat off. He’d been watching Dakota through the window. The Malinois was sitting in front of the shed, staring. Every now and then, he’d whine, and lower his head.
The sight was breaking his heart. He heard a door open, and he took another cup from the cupboard to make a cup of coffee for Polly. She shuffled into the kitchen, looking like she hadn’t slept. He pulled a chair out for her, and she sat down.
“Thank you, Asher. I’m sorry I’m not much of a hostess,” she said, as her hand wrapped around the mug.
“Since when have I needed you to be a hostess for me in this house?”
She gave him a weak smile, and took a sip of her coffee. “Mark’s parents are coming today.”
“I spoke to our unit members last night. The ones that are in the country will be here for his funeral on Thursday.”
“I need you to take Dakota with you when you leave,” Polly said, as a lone tear ran down her cheek.
Asher nodded his head. “Yeah, of course.”
“Tell me what’s happening on the ranch. How are your brothers and father? And Eden, is she well? I need to think about something else.”
“Everyone’s well. Eden’s working hard like always, but she got some help now. Maggie helps Colt and Dylan so Eden can focus on Blair’s business. My father is still with us, still the same, as always,” Asher said.
“I’m glad everybody’s doing well. Matty doesn’t understand that Mark’s never coming back. I don’t even know if I want to stay here, Asher. This was our first home, where Matty was born. Mark was so happy when we moved in. Do you remember?”
“I remember. He was so proud of buying this house for you.”
Polly smiled and took another sip. Dakota scratched at the kitchen door, whining loudly. He gave one bark, and Asher stood up. As soon as he opened the door, Dakota’s tail started wagging from side to side, making his lower body move as well.
“Up,” Asher said, and the dog jumped. As he caught Dakota in his arms, the dog rested his paws on his shoulders, his head next to his own. “Good boy, Dakota.” He petted the dog, rubbed his ears, and then put him down.
He went down to one knee, and spoke softly to the dog while stroking his head. The dog whined once, and when Asher stood up, he trotted over to his kennel, and lay down. Asher closed the kitchen door, and washed his hands at the sink.
“Dakota won’t miss Mark as much when he’s with you. On the ranch, he’ll have space to run,” Polly said.
“What do you want to do, Polly? Do you want to sell the house and move?”
She sighed, dragging both hands through her hair. “I don’t know, Asher.”
“If it’s going to be easier on you, then pack up and move. Mark won’t be mad. He’d understand, and he’d want you to be okay.”
“I know.”
“What happened, Polly? He sounded fine three weeks ago when we talked. Was he having nightmares? Was he drinking? Was he depressed?”
“Everything was fine the first two months. Then the dreams started getting worse. He’d sit on the porch during the day, his gun in his lap, jerking at every sound and movement. He’d yell at Matty and at me. The drinking started about a month ago…and pills. He didn’t sleep anymore. He wasn’t himself. I told him to go see someone, and he freaked out. Real men don’t talk to head doctors,” Polly said, shaking her head, sadly. “I didn’t know he was going to do this. If I’d known, I would’ve done something.”
“This isn’t your fault.”
The passing days all bled into one another as Asher watched Polly withdraw. Mark’s family arrived, then her family arrived. When brothers and sisters from the Army checked in, Asher went out with them one night. They all had a drink in Mark’s honor, talking about the demons of war, and the scars on their souls.
The funeral was a somber affair. They all wore dark suits. Pendleton, who had been Mark’s watcher, handed Polly a folded flag. There was no official military funeral, but Pendleton felt that Mark deserved one. People spoke in low voices while Asher kept an eye on Polly and Matty.
A few days after the funeral, Polly knocked on his bedroom door, and sat down on his bed. It was nearing midnight, but he’d still been wide awake.
“I think I’m going to sell the house. It’s too hard, Asher.”
“Okay.”
Asher stayed to help her pack up the house. She couldn’t touch Mark’s stuff, so Asher packed his things away. When the movers arrived, she pointed to a box with his name on it. “I thought you might like some of his stuff.”
Asher was touched by the gesture, and he loaded the box into his truck. When the last of the boxes and furniture had been removed from the house, they stood outside on the front lawn, and looked at the empty house.
“You will survive this, Polly. It won’t feel like it for a long time, but you will survive. You have Matty to focus on, and when the days get particularly dark, you cling to that. If ever you need a break from reality, you know where the ranch is. You will always be welcome there.”
“Thank you, Asher. I really appreciate that. We’re going to stay with my parents for a little while before I decide where to settle. I might have to go back to school while Matty’s still small, so I can find a decent job.”
“You can do anything you put your mind to, Polly. I have faith in you. Drive safe, and text me when you get to your parents’ house.”
Polly wrapped her arms around his waist. “Thank you, for being a part of our family, Asher. You meant a lot to Mark, to me, too.”
Asher watched as Polly drove down the street before he finally got in his own truck and drove in the opposite direction. He’d been gone for three weeks. His thoughts went to Maggie. She hadn’t reached out to him, but he could hardly blame her.