Chapter 35 — New Year, New Me

Mother went back to her house after weeks of celebration without so much as a hiccup. I was not surprised, I did work hard to keep my relationship with Aurelius a secret. And as soon as she left, I began packing for my trip to South Korea. Even while packing my clothes for a two-week-long trip, I started to plot the speech, or perhaps my last will, in case my mother would find out. Realistically speaking, there is a hundred percent chance she would.

Tempted to get my funeral plans ready, I glanced up from my suitcase filled with winter clothes as my phone began ringing loudly on the nightstand. After seeing that the caller was Aurelius, I immediately answered after the third ring. When the celebrations ended, Aurelius went back to England as soon as possible to his family. I seldom get messages from him due to how busy he was running the company. His cheery voice blasted my eardrums as he greeted me as bright as the fireworks that greeted the new year days ago.

“Hello! I hope you are doing well, Alex. How are you?”

Honestly, where does he get this kind of energy from?

“Good afternoon, Aurelius. I’m doing fine, thanks for asking.” I replied without as much life as he does, tired from all the partying done last week. Right now, socializing is taking a lot from me and makes me wanna lay down. “How about you?”

I could hear his boyish giggles before answering my inquiry. “I’m in a very good mood, my latest partnership went well. I’m glad it turned out good or my dad would chew my arse!”

And sometimes, I do forget that this man is in his early thirties and is the CEO of a company. What a strange human being indeed.

“Aiden and you are nothing alike.”

“Eh?! What made you think so?”

“Never mind. Why did you call though? Do you have any scheduled important meetings or events that may occur during our stay there? 'Cause, if you do, it’s all right with me if you want out—”

“No, no! Everything’s fine! I actually finished it today and made sure to tell my secretary that I would be leaving so I won’t have anything to do when we get there.” Aurelius chuckled and I could just imagine him having one of those silly expressions on his face, his lovesick grins that are stupidly endearing. If anyone could read my thoughts at this moment, I wouldn’t get angry if they call me a sap. “You have me all to yourself.”

“Mhm.” Sitting at the edge of the bed, I laid down and stared at the ceiling. Twisting a piece of my hair, it grew silent between us for a few seconds, just basking on the comfortable silence that passed by until I broke it. These past few days I’ve been monitoring Iris Maverick’s social media to see if she was near England. The last picture she uploaded was of her and her mom in a yacht. “Aurelius, is Iris still bugging you?”

He hummed, deep in thought. “Now that you mentioned it, she hasn’t texted or did anything to warrant my attention. It’s like she disappeared off the earth or whatnot… why did you ask?”

She’s been busy as well, huh.

“Nothing special. I don’t want to have anyone bothering us while we’re there, that’s all.”

“Is that all?”

Raising an eyebrow at his implication, I sat up only to lay on my stomach. “What do you mean? Do you think I have any other reasons?” Anticipating his response, I bit my lip in trepidation on whatever he had to say. However, the line still remained silent and I almost bit my skin off in slight annoyance. “What? Just because I get jealous easily doesn’t mean—”

“I’m all right with you getting jealous, there’s no problem with that. Everyone gets that feeling once in a while,” he replied, voice low and soothing to the ear. “In fact, you can get jealous anytime…”

“Aurelius, I—”

“It makes me feel like you care about me. Knowing you, if you cared about me, it’s only natural to be wary of others who intend to hurt me.” My hands were shaking a bit as I listened to him on the other line, painfully aware that I wasn’t a good person. “So please, if you ever sense that something is wrong, don’t hesitate to tell me. I don’t want to let you down and I’m open to you, only for you.”

“I’m sorry, Aurelius, truly I am. I never thought this was the kind of impact I had on you for you to see my jealousy as some sort of affection. This is the reason why I don’t want to date you just yet. I’m currently at the stage of healing and being this vulnerable isn’t a good place to be in.” Tears welled up in my eyes, my hand clutching my chest. “But don’t worry, I’ll make it up to you, okay? I don’t want to waste your efforts, I am really grateful for all your help and sacrifices.”

“I love you, Alex.”

Three words almost choked me, breathing was near impossible when I swallowed thickly and nodded. “Mhm… me too, to you,” I added the last part, knowing fully well he would make a joke. I wasn’t wrong when he started chuckling.

“You’re free to love yourself, you know that, right?”

“Easily jealous? Yes. Narcissist? You’ve got the wrong person.” I laughed, shaking my head as I wiped the fallen teardrops away. “Anyway, I’ve got to go. I still have packing to do and I’m sure you’re not finished yet.”

“What can I say? I miss you terribly.”

“I miss you too, Aurelius.”

“Funny, you didn’t shoot me down.”

Rolling my eyes, I got up from the bed and bid him goodbye. “See you there, hopefully. I’ll pray for your flight not to get delayed.” The call ended and I immediately covered my face, feeling how hot it was. “My god, did I just pour out my feelings over the phone? Never doing that again…”

Serious matters should be discussed face-to-face.

In the middle of packing my underwear, my task was yet interrupted by the doorbell ringing. Mother made sure to install a good one before she left. Hurriedly dashing to the front door in hopes one of my packages had arrived—it must be the brand new feeds I got online for the leeches—and as soon as I opened the door, I instantly tried to slam it shut on Desmond’s face.

What the fuck are you doing here?!

“Alex, w-we need to talk. Please let me in. I promise it will be quic—”

“There’s no way in hell I’m letting you, one of my biggest mistakes, inside my house! Leave at once you fucktard!” I gritted my teeth, pushing hard with all my might when I heard him yell out in pain. One of his fingers got stuck and I instantly pulled away, scared that I may have dislocated it. However, he was just fine as he blew on the area. “Can’t you just leave me alone? Go back to your wife! Don’t you have anything else better to do than make my life sour?”

Blowing on the sore finger, Desmond massaged it a few times while shaking his head at me. “Geez, you’re still the same girl, huh.”

Stop.

“If you’re not gonna leave, I’m going to call the cops.”

“Whoa!” he raised both of his hands up in defeat. “There’s no need to do that, I’m just here to ask you a question.”

Why me?

“Make it quick then.”

He lowered his head, interested to stare at his shoes instead of my frown. “Well, I don’t know why but Karen seems out of it these days. I learned a few days ago that she went out to visit you, which may have something to do with your hostility towards her… well, when we met at the cafe. Alex, if she offended you in any way please forgive her.”

At the mention of Karen, I crossed my arms and huffed. “She didn’t offend me. In fact, if I have to blame someone, it would be you. And why aren’t you taking care of her? Shouldn’t you be at home to look after her? Fuck, you should be taking care of her or her condition would go further south!”

“Sick?” he blinked a few times, clearly confused. “What are you talking about? Karen isn’t sick.”

Oh shit. I forgot this moron doesn’t know.

“Well, when she visited she appeared to be sick. Maybe it was just a passing flu.” I shrugged it off, fiddling with my fingers. “Whatever, I don’t care. She didn’t say anything to offend me, I just hate seeing her carefree self.”

Desmond sheepishly laughed, scratching his head. “I-I see… Then, that’s good. It’s fine if you hate me, just don’t take it out on Karen next time. She doesn’t have anything to do with our past relationship.”

I narrowed my eyes at him, blood close to reaching its boiling point. “Now that I’ve answered your question, could you go now? I’m in the middle of something important and it doesn’t include talking to you.”

“Yes, yes. Sorry ‘bout that. I’ll go now…” Desmond waved goodbye and left without saying anything else. Not even a single explanation as to why or even an apology for leaving me. Yet, I didn’t cry this time. As much as it hurts me, Aurelius is here to keep me company and that’s enough.

» — ✣ — «

“You’ve got this, Alex! Just relax and everything will run smoothly. And who knows? If your dad hears you’re coming back, maybe you wouldn’t have to stay at a hotel after all.”

I threw Elise a deadpan expression as I dialed my dad’s phone number. Ten hours before departure, we arrived at the airport with Aiden’s assistant in tow. She was tasked to keep an eye on Elise, which the latter wasn’t having as we kept trying to outrun her to be alone. We didn’t succeed.

“For someone who wouldn’t be talking to him, you sure are nervous.”

Elise shrugged, wrapping her coat around her tightly. Despite the noise around us, we were deathly silent as the phone started to ring. It was her idea to make sure to call my father before I leave. Getting his number from my mother wasn’t an easy task yet I never had the guts to try and call. Elise coaxed me into calling him, to make sure that it was the correct one with the reason that in case of emergency, I had someone to turn to.

My heart almost stopped when he picked up, reminded me that it has been a decade since I last talked to him. Images of my younger self waiting for him to come back or even call. Not knowing that my parents severed ties and may never see each other again. Everything is coming back in full force but it was needed.

A path I must take to discover my true self again, back when the world was simple as coloring a sketch.

“Yeoboseyo?”

Lips dry, I licked them a few times as I try to make a single word leave my mouth.

“Yeoboseyo? Nuguseyo?”

“Appa…na ttal-iya, Han Seo-Yoon, neoui Seo-Yoonie.”