The nerve of the bastard to pick up the phone and act as though he owned her. Astra thought.
She brought it all on herself though, so she deserved everything that happened and even a little more. Astra had been out of her senses, and if Jared hadn't called at that exact moment, she would have let Nicholas fuck her. Worse, she would have enjoyed it.
Astra thanked the stars for Jared's call as she drove back home. She had no idea what had driven her to go to Nicholas' house in the first place. Astra decided to blame it on the fact that she was ovulating, and somehow her subconscious had directed her to the only man that could satisfy her. It was simpler to blame nature, which couldn't complain, than it was to blame oneself. Astra still loved Nicholas, and the fact that he seduced her so easily was just solid proof.
She loved him so much that her free moments were just thoughts of him. As much as he broke her heart and destroyed her pride, she still loved him. Astra figured that was what love was: yearning for someone even if they hurt you multiple times. It was through Nicholas that Astra knew love destroyed pride. She used to be one of those people that said she could never let a man use her, that she would survey the situation, that she would see the red flags before it got to that point, but loving Nicholas had taught her that life always had the best surprises.
Astra was tired of loving Nicholas. She loved him so much that she was tired. Even after he hurt her time and time again, she still loved him. Astra needed to stop herself from loving Nicholas. Five years was more than enough time to move on. They were only together for a little more than two years anyway. Nicholas brought her enough hurt to last a lifetime. It was more than what any human or woman would want to face.
Astra drove and parked in front of her apartment. She was about to step out of the car when she saw Stephanie's call. She realized then that she had plans with Stephanie, but she completely forgot about them.
Astra quickly looked at the time; it was a few minutes past twelve. Astra sighed and picked up the call.
"Hey babe, I am so sorry. I will start coming. " Astra said, even before Stephanie could say a word.
"I am waiting. If not, I am having my potatoes alone, "Steph threatened, and Astra smiled into the phone.
"You just have to wait." "You will never be able to guess what happened today," Astra said. She knew Stephanie enough to know that her ears would be perked up for gossip.
"Oh! "Start coming," Stephanie said impatiently, but in a playful manner.
"OK, bye," Astra said as she hung up the phone. She started to drive to Lois's restaurant. Stephanie and Astra found the restaurant a few years back, after Stephanie divorced Nicholas, and she had been a steady customer since then. Their potatoes and steak were to die for, and it was Steph's and Astra's personal spot. They came here to talk about serious issues, girly stuff, politics, or anything else.
The place had a homey feeling that kept the both of them returning, even if it was a bit far from where they both lived. Their food was phenomenal too; it was a win-win.
The drive to the restaurant seemed longer than usual. Astra felt it was because she was finally telling someone about Nicholas and the entire situation. She could not wait to get it off her chest, but the drive was too far and it took too long.
Astra breathed a sigh of relief when the restaurant finally began to come into view. The look of the building was as normal as it came. There was nothing exceptional about it, yet cars parked in front of it and it seemed like they were in rush hour. If it was just for the looks, Lois Restaurant would have folded up, but more than the looks, they had exceptional dining. Astra spotted her friend, Stephanie, immediately as she entered the restaurant.
Sweet smells of food trickled through her nostrils as she waved at Stephanie. Her friend was looking as sexy and over the top as usual, in a hot red number that looked like it should only be worn in a club. Her long hair was dyed beach blonde, way different from the rainbow color it was when they last met.
Astra would look very much different in her black jean skirt and big white Tshrit. She always valued comfort more than being "hot". Astra would only put a lot of effort into dressing up when she was going to special places. Brunch with her best friend didn't really qualify.
"Steph!" "Astra!" They both shouted, bringing the attention of people around them. One would think they had not seen each other for years, rather than the actual three weeks.
"You look so good!" Astra said, hugging Stephanie, holding her tightly. Astra loved the comfort that came with being with Stephanie. She was like a safe haven to Astra.
"You look a mess, Astra," Stephanie said, as they separated and she looked at her. It was a typical Stephanie thing to say. She was very raw and didn't have a filter. It was one of the things Astra appreciated about her friend.
"Long story, babe," Astra said as she sat down. Steph called the waiter, and they ordered their usual potatoes and steak.
"Well, you have to start telling the damned story," Steph said, and Astra rolled her eyes. Stephanie had one of the oldest friends she had. They were friends from college. Stephanie knew almost everything about Astra.
"You know, I got assigned to Nicholas' case, right?" Astra asked, and a frown appeared on Steph's face, but her friend nodded.
Well, that opened a can of worms. I have been to his house at least three times since then, and he keeps coming to my place to sleep. "The major problem is the fact that I cannot tell him no. I still love him, "Astra said. She started to cry.
"Did you guys have sex?" Steph asked, and Astra shook her head.
"We have been very close though. I am just so confused about everything. I still don't know why he divorced me, and now he wants to work with me by all means. Nothing just makes sense to me. I am hearing news of him cheating while we were still married. One minute, I was certain that he still loved me and that the entire divorce was a lie; that he was the main reason for what happened to me, the fire, and the fact that I had to lose a part of myself. "I am not sure I would be able to forgive him after all that," Astra choked out.
"Calm down, Astra, relax," her friend said. She did not feel calm. She felt tears burning in her eyes. They were threatening to drop She started pinching her palms in a bid to stay calm and not cry in public. It didn't work well though. Coming to the restaurant to have the conversation was not one of their brightest ideas.
The waiter came and dropped the food in front of them while she was trying to calm herself. The sweet smell of the potatoes she was previously wafted through her nostrils, but her appetite had disappeared. Astra looked up at Stephanie, and her friend looked like a beaten cub.
"I will be fine, Stephanie," Astra said to her friend.
"You should eat your food," she continued.
"I can barely tell if you are not eating Astra," Steph said. Nicholas has caused you so much pain in the past, and he is still causing you so much pain now. You should not let him have so much power over you. You will only end up getting even more hurt. You should try and move on. " Astra thought it was easier said than done.
"You know well that I saw what a mess you were when you broke up with him. I saw you when you decided to leave the state and start afresh, to bring up a little family of your own, and then life happened. You should remember that I saw you when the fire burned your skin. I will not sit back and let Nicholas Trenton hurt you time and time again. You do not deserve this pain. You are a good and pure person. You have to move on, Astra. "He might have made you happy before, but all he is bringing you now is pain," Stephanie said, her eyes brimming with tears, and Astra was feeling guilty for ruining their meet up, just bringing tears to the party.
"I don't think I can fall in love again, Steph," Astra said. The feelings she had for Nicholas were so strong, it was almost like he hadn't hurt her at all. Falling in love was the last thing on her mind.
"You should start by being with someone first. From there, it will be easy to let go of Nicholas. And also, finish this case as fast as you can so that you can get as far as Nicholas as possible. " "Perhaps you should say yes to Jared; you never know, you might fall in love with him," Stephanie suggested.
"Isn't that like using him?" Astra asked. The last thing she wanted to do was to hurt somebody just because Nicholas hurt her.
"Not really. Every relationship is a gamble. You are simply making an effort to move on. You might fall in love with him. " "Let's not talk about this; our food is getting cold," Steph said, and Astra put her spoon into the milky potatoes. She was beginning to have hope. Stephanie's plan might be her only hope of moving on.
"How is your husband doing?" Astra asked her friend after a bite. It was in a bid to lighten the mood.
Oh, Ray is good. "I am sure it has been a long time since the both of you saw each other, since the wedding if I am not mistaken," Stephanie said, and Astra nodded.
"I kind of miss him; it has been a while," Astra said. Ray had been her friend in college before she introduced him to Stephanie. It was shocking to her that they hit off after a while. They only started dating after she got married to Nicholas. Before that, the three of them had been very close, like three musketeers. Astra was very happy that her friend found love, though. It was a "friend to lover" story. Ray and Astra hadn't seen each other much since their marriage, though.
"Yes, we should have dinner together soon." "I will check in with Ray and let you know," Stephanie said, and Astra nodded, putting a piece of meat into her mouth.
"That would be very nice," Astra agreed.
"So what were you saying about Jared? Maybe I would do that instead of running to Nicholas every minute or two. It will also keep me busy. I am not so sure, though. " "Jared is nice and all, but I don't really like him in that manner," Astra said.
"That's because you are still in love with Nicholas. You probably won't be able to love anyone else as long as he is still in your life. So you have to try to be in a relationship with someone else. "It will be much easier to fall in love with someone else," Stephanie said, and Astra nodded. Everything her friend said made sense-too much sense. Astra wasn't sure she was very sensible.
"So I should just call Jared and let him know that I want a relationship now?" She asked.
"Exactly," Stephanie replied. "You can call him right now."
"Now?" Astra asked, and Stephanie nodded. With shaky hands, Astra picked up her phone and dialed Jared's number.