Chapter 109
Lirael
Four hours later, I woke in a room that smelled like mildew and cheap disinfectant, every muscle screaming. The mattress sagged beneath me, springs digging into my spine, but it was shelter and it was anonymous and most importantly, it was far enough from Blackwood Manor that I could breathe.
Elwin lay on the second bed, breathing shallow but steady, bandages wrapped around his burned hands. Medical supplies sat on the table between us—antibiotics, burn cream, even prescription painkillers. Damian's work, delivered by whatever underground network he maintained. There were also clean clothes and an envelope containing cash.
Damian came through. Of course he did.
I sat up slowly, biting back a groan. The underwater passage had been narrower than I'd expected, the current stronger, and I'd scraped myself raw dragging Elwin through freezing water. When we'd finally surfaced in that runoff channel three miles downstream, I'd wanted to collapse and let the current take me.
Instead, I'd stolen clothes from a homeless encampment—leaving most of Damian's cash in exchange—and flagged down a truck driver with a story about an abusive boyfriend. He'd driven us here without questions.
I'd treated Elwin's wounds with shaking hands, watched him slip into fevered sleep, and finally allowed myself two hours of unconsciousness. Now I was awake again, my body aching, my mind racing, and all I could think about was that needle and the absolute insanity of what Sebastian had done.
He poisoned himself. With my weapon. To give me a choice.
I should have felt triumphant. Instead, all I felt was sick—a nausea that had nothing to do with exhaustion and everything to do with the memory of Sebastian's face as that poison entered his bloodstream. The way his skin had gone pale, his lips turning purple, his eyes losing focus even as he'd smiled like he'd just won some twisted game.
My fingers rose to the bite mark on my neck—still tender, still there. A brand I'd carry for days.
Bastard. Manipulative, insane bastard.
Should have died in that passage. Instead I'm here, alive, free, and all I can think about is whether Sebastian is dying right now.
Except he said he'd find his own cure. Said this was me choosing, not being forced.
I returned to the main room. Elwin was stirring, his face flushed with fever.
"Miss Lirael?" His voice was barely a whisper. "Did we... did we really make it out?"
"Yeah." I sat on the edge of his bed, checking his pulse. Fast but strong. "We made it out."
"Your neck." His eyes focused on the bite mark. "He hurt you again."
"It's nothing." I pulled the collar higher, covering the mark. "How are your hands?"
"They hurt." He tried to flex his fingers and winced. "But I can still feel them. That's good, right?"
"That's very good." I changed his bandages carefully, noting that the burns were severe but clean. No signs of infection yet, though we'd need to watch closely. "Damian sent antibiotics. You'll heal."
"And you?" He studied my face. "Will you heal?"
I didn't know how to answer that. Physically, yes—my body would knit itself back together given time and rest. But the other wounds, the ones that didn't show on the surface...
"I always do," I said instead.
"He let us go." Elwin's voice was thoughtful despite the fever. "Lord Sebastian. He could have kept you, but he let us go."
"He poisoned himself to do it." The words came out bitter. "Forty-eight hours until cardiac failure. Unless I go back with the antidote."
"Will you?" Direct. Innocent. The kind of question only a teenager would ask.
"I don't know." I finished securing his bandages. "He said he'd find his own cure. That Victor wouldn't be able to track me."
"But you don't believe him."
"I don't know what to believe anymore." I stood, moving to the window. The parking lot outside was empty except for a few rusted cars. Dawn was still hours away. "He's spent months hunting me, capturing me, claiming me as property. And then he just... lets me go? Injects himself with poison and tells me to run?"
"Maybe he meant it." Elwin shifted on the bed, trying to get comfortable. "Maybe he really does want you to choose."
"Or maybe it's just another cage." I pressed my forehead against the cold glass. "A more sophisticated one. Built from guilt instead of steel."
"Miss Lirael?" His voice was softer now. "When you pulled me through that tunnel... when we were in the water and I couldn't breathe... you kept saying 'just a little further, just hold on.' You didn't give up on me even when it would have been easier to leave me behind."
I turned to look at him. "That's different."
"Is it?" He met my eyes. "You saved me because you couldn't live with yourself if you didn't. Maybe... maybe that's what he's counting on. That you can't live with yourself if you let him die."
Out of the mouths of babes.
"You should rest," I said, deflecting. "The fever will get worse before it gets better."
"You should rest too." He closed his eyes. "You look like you're about to collapse."
"I will. Soon." But even as I said it, I knew it was a lie. Because every time I closed my eyes, I saw Sebastian's face as that poison entered his bloodstream. Saw the way he'd smiled. Saw the absolute certainty that I would come back.
"Miss Lirael?" Elwin's voice was drowsy now, the painkillers kicking in. "The hologram chip. On your neck. You need to remove it before the charge runs out. It'll leave residue..."
Shit. I'd forgotten about the holo-skin device still adhered to my neck, generating Sophia Thornwood's face over my own. I moved back to the bathroom, peeling it off carefully. In the mirror, I watched Sophia's features flicker and die, replaced by my own silver eyes and sharp cheekbones.
The chip left a faint adhesive residue. I scrubbed at it with soap and water until my skin was red and raw but clean.
One less thing to worry about.