Chapter 49 DO I LOVE HIM?
(HAVEN)
Auren doesn't give a time to speak before he leans down and captures my lips in a harsh, bruising kiss. Both hands grab a hold of my waist and pin me to the wall.
He tries using his tongue to pry my lips open, but I keep them firmly shut. He bites down on my bottom lip and I cry out in pain. He uses the opportunity to slide his tongue into my mouth and deepen the kiss.
This is not the first time my husband is kissing me, but this feels so different. Like he's trying to stake a claim for the whole world to see.
I can't let this happen. This will open doors I won't be able to seal shut. But as I raise my hands to push him away, a moan reverberates from within his throat and my palms relax against his chest.
“Fuck, baby! You taste like sin, one I'll gladly commit again and again," he rasps against my lips and buries his head in the crook of my neck, sucking, licking, biting, nibbling.
I close my eyes and bite back a moan. A voice at the back of my head reminds me how wrong this is, how dangerous it is and how I should stop it before it gets to a point of no return.
But I can't get my body to act on it. Not when he's feasting on my skin like it's his favorite meal or when he slips his hand through the slit of my dress and moves it gently up my lap, causing goosebumps to form on my skin.
“You have no idea how much I crave to be inside you, little flame," he murmurs against my skin.
“Auren…we…we shouldn't do this…it's…it's…” I gasp when he runs his hands beneath my garter. “Y…you should stop.”
" Stop?” He asks, his voice low and amused. " You are my wife, Haven.” He moves his hand further up till he's just inches away from my pussy. “Nothing we are doing is considered wrong."
“I…I don't want this."
He arches a brow. “Are you sure?" He lets go of me and drops to his knees. “Let me prove to you otherwise.”
Before I can ask what he's thinking or doing, he grabs one of my legs, places it on his shoulder and dives towards my pussy like a starving man.
The moment his lips touch my pussy, I let out a scream that echoes through the walls. He doesn't stop or give me time to breathe. He straight on eats my pussy like a starving man.
He doesn't just suck, he licks bites and sucks, practically devours my pussy like it's a new ice cream flavor he just discovered.
As a girl who's never had another man touch me in my life, I can't compare his touch to someone else's. But I know his is definitely the most intoxicating. Every thing about him is.
My unstoppable moans echo within the walls of the bedroom and I'm not really concerned about who hears me or who doesn't.
“Aahh…Auren!” I gasp when he bites on my clit, pleasure soaring my insides.
" You like that don't you, little flame? You like having my mouth on you, wrecking you in every possible way known to man,” he growls against my insides. “Your juice is soaking up my face, Baby. This doesn't feel like hate.”
" Auren…" is all I can manage to let out before he dives back towards my pussy, thrusting his tongue in me violently. Within minutes, I'm coming on his face with a loud scream.
My knees buckle, but he's on his feet, catching me before I hit the ground.
“You didn't sound like you don't want this," he teases with a mock expression. “I'm sure the whole palace could hear how much you wanted it. I'm sure if I were about to pin you down to the bed and shove my cock in you, you wouldn't resist."
My cheeks heat up and I push him away from me.
On shaky legs I rush to my room and shut the door, knowing fully well that it won't stop him if he decides to come after me.
I collapse on the bed and scream into the pillow.
“Why did you do something like that?" I cry out in frustration. “You’re supposed to hate him, not let him shove his tongue down your pussy like a starved animal.”
“Maybe it's because you don't hate him as much as you think."
I don't have to look up to know who it is that just spoke. I've become so acquainted to her that her voice is something I'd recognize in an instant.
She somehow knows the best ways to ruin my moods sometimes.
“I don't love Auren!" I growl into the pillow. She leads out a soft melodious laugh, and I turn around just in time to see her shake her head.
“Then the sky is green," she says and laughs again. “Listen, my dear, you love the king. You're just too stubborn or too scared to admit it. Your heart and body know it, your mind just has to accept it."
I shake my head, refusing to let her influence me. She was a fool for love and I refuse to be the same. I won't make the same mistake.
“You can't fight your feelings, Haven."
“Just because you couldn't fight yours for Eurolys doesn't mean I can't," I snap and pain flashes across her face.
Shit!
I rise to my feet and instantly head towards her. “No, Mom. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said that to you…I…”
" No,” she cuts me off. With slow deliberate steps, she makes her way to my bed and sits down. Her eyes are no longer light and empty like always.
No! Right now, they carry a pain that shouldn't belong to any human.
" You are right,” she mutters. " I couldn't control what I felt for Eurolys. I let the love I felt for him blind me into making a mistake that cost me the world. But that's not the case with you “
She rises to her feet and slowly makes her way towards me. She takes my hand in hers and gives me a gentle smile. The kind that warms your insides.
" Auren is not the same as Eurolys. Accepting that you love him will be a source of strength and not that of weakness.”
I nod absent mindedly.
Maybe she's right and accepting how I feel for my husband is going to be a source of strength.
But I'm I willing to risk it like she did?