What we carry

What we carry


IZZY'S POV

I had spent most of the day putting out small fires after what happened with Nico. No one had said anything to my face, but I could feel it in the halls, in the way people looked at me. Fear and respect, i had both now. I just wasn’t sure which one would last longer.

I was in the study, sitting on the edge of the big chair, staring at the map spread across the table. All the Marino territories were marked in neat red ink, but all I saw were the weak spots. The holes Marco might try to crawl through, the alliances that might break if someone whispered in the right ear.

The door creaked open behind me. I didn’t turn.

“You’re still awake,” Luca said.

“Couldn’t sleep,” I said, eyes still on the map.

He walked in and shut the door behind him. “I figured. You’ve been pacing the halls since midnight.”

I looked up at him. “Are you watching me now?”

“Someone has to,” he said with a half-smile. “You don’t watch yourself.”

I rolled my eyes and leaned back in the chair. “I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not,” he said, walking closer. “You’re wound so tight you might break.”

I didn’t answer. He was right. I hated that he was right.

Luca stopped on the other side of the table and studied the map too. “What’s bothering you the most? Marco?”

“Marco’s a problem, but not the only one,” I said. “It’s everything. The soldiers, the captains, the families watching to see if I mess up. My father still trying to control things from his damn bed, it’s a lot.”

He was quiet for a second. “You knew it wouldn’t be easy.”

“I did,” I said. “But I didn’t expect it to feel like this.”

“Like what?” he asked.

“Like I’m walking through a minefield,” I said. “One wrong step and everything I’ve built explodes.”

He walked around the table and sat on the edge of it, close enough for me to feel the warmth from him. “You’re not going to explode. You’re smarter than that.”

I laughed, but it was short and bitter. “You’re the only one who thinks that.”

“No,” he said. “I think they all know it. That’s why they’re scared.”

I looked at him, really looked at him, for the first time that night. “Are you scared?”

He met my eyes without flinching. “Of you? No.”

“Of what’s coming?” I said flatly.

He let out a slow breath. “Every second.”

That honesty hit harder than any reassurance would have. I didn’t want comforting lies, i wanted someone who saw the danger the same way I did.

“I hate this,” I said quietly. “All of it.”

“I know,” he said.

“I hate that I have to prove myself every single day. That one mistake means I’m weak, that people don’t see me as me, they see me as Vincenzo’s daughter trying to wear his crown.”

“You’re not wearing his crown,” Luca said. “You’re building your own.”

I shook my head. “It doesn’t feel like it. It feels like I’m just holding everything together with tape and hoping no one notices.”

He smiled a little. “That’s leadership, no one ever feels ready for it.”

I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees. “What if I’m not meant for this?”

“Don’t do that,” he said quickly. “Don’t start doubting now.”

“I’m serious, Luca.”

“So am I,” he said. “You are meant for this. I’ve watched you make choices no one else had the guts to make. I’ve watched you take hits that would break anyone else, you don’t get to question that now.”

His voice was firm, not gentle. It was the tone of someone who refused to let me spiral.

I looked down at my hands. “It’s just… I never wanted it like this. I thought maybe if I did everything right, people would follow because they believed in me but they follow because they’re scared.”

“They’ll believe eventually,” Luca said. “Fear is how it starts, respect is what comes after.”

“And if it doesn’t?” I asked.

“Then they’ll keep following anyway,” he said. “Because you’ll give them no other choice.”

I stared at the map again, tracing one of the red lines with my finger. “Marco’s not going to stay quiet.”

“No,” Luca said. “He’s too proud, too angry.”

“He knows too much.” i said.

“Yes,” he said. “Which is why I’ve started moving some of the assets.”

I looked up at him. “What do you mean?”

“I rerouted a few accounts, shifted some supply lines, just small things. If Marco tries to use what he knows, it won’t help him much.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Without telling me?”

“I’m telling you now,” he said calmly. “It’s a precaution.”

I stared at him for a few seconds before sighing. “You’re lucky I trust you.”

“I’m not lucky,” he said. “I earned that.”

He wasn’t wrong. Luca had been by my side since before any of this started. We’d bled together, lied together, and now we were trying to survive together. If there was anyone I could trust with my life, it was him.

“Thank you,” I said.

“For what?” he asked.

“For doing the things I don’t even think of.” i said.

He smiled. “Someone has to.”

The room went quiet for a moment. The only sound was the faint ticking of the old clock on the wall. It was strange, how we could talk about betrayal, war, and death and still find these small silences that felt almost peaceful.

“Do you ever think about leaving?” I asked suddenly.

“Leaving?” he repeated.

“All of this,” I said. “The family. The blood, the power. Just… walking away.”

He thought about it for a long time before answering. “I used to.”

“What changed?” i asked.

He looked at me. “You.”

I blinked. “Me?”

“You’re the reason I stay,” he said simply. “Because if I leave, who watches your back? Who makes sure you don’t drown in all this?”

I swallowed. “I can handle myself.”

“I know,” he said. “But you shouldn’t have to handle everything yourself.”

I didn’t know what to say to that. It had been a long time since anyone had said something like that to me, not as a strategy, not as manipulation, but as truth.

“Thank you,” I said again, softer this time.

He shrugged. “Don’t
thank me, just don’t give up.”

I leaned back in the chair. “I’m not planning to.”

“Good,” he said. “Because we’re in too deep to stop now.”