Chapter 56: Use Me More Than Anything Else

**The Demon’s Love**

*Chapter 56: Use Me More Than Anything Else*

Amari’s

Without Rymond, I wouldn’t had been alive by now. Unconsciously, I looked at my palm, reliving what it felt like to control the Dark Magic. Was it a mere illusion or it was a fact that I could really control Dark Magic? If so, does that make me a practitioner of the said Magic? As far as I am concerned, I shouldn’t be the one able to do so since I am a powerful person.

Besides the fact that I have two powers, I could heal people – a stark difference of Dark Magic. I am also a master of this dragon, who is suffering because of me. If the progress I’ve made so far was because of a horrible truth I didn’t want to face, what reaction would Zaren give me?

Resentment, disappointment, anger. Nevertheless, whatever it was, I am aware I wouldn’t be able to accept it if he looked at me with utter disappointment. It could be better if he was disappointed in me but if one day comes when he’d hate me, am I capable of swallowing the hard truth?

I clenched my fist, inadvertently looking at Zaren showing an awkward smile then oddly looked away. Somehow, I felt guilty. Guilty that I was the only one drawing these uncomfortable conclusions and the only one who was disturbed of what I felt back then. I am sure no one saw me controlling it, I even used it as a tool to kill one of the Dark Practitioners.

I held my breath and when I looked ahead, Rymond was already gone and healing Bal. I hate that I have to hide every small detail of me as I am afraid they’d suffer far more than they were experiencing right now. I hated that I couldn’t bring myself to trust them since if I say it to them, they’d get worked up so much and might ended up willingly dying for me. I can’t let them do that. Rymond has lost half of his power while Zaren lost his memories to save us both, while I… what I only have was my soul.

If I add it all up, my body was my tribute. I felt my head throbbed then a familiar warmth touched my forehead.

Zaren gently asked me, “Are you unwell? Do you wish to stay longer?”

I shook my head at his kind offer. “I just felt quite bad that other knights had to stay up late last night.”

Zaren smiled at my worries and assured me. “In fact, they were the ones who volunteered. My original plan was to keep an eye outside, but they stopped me all means. They really like you.”

I could only laugh, “But all I did was accompany you.”

“No, you did far than you thought. You saved us from the Dark Magic several times. Yesterday, Sephine’s incident, your Uncle, even Rymond.”

No, that was not my doings.

“You’re wrong. It was my fault that you guys were suffering because of me. Zaren… I don’t want to die with guilt or regret.”

His hand caressed my head and I felt him place my head on his shoulder and assured me. “I won’t force you to say your secrets. But Amari, I will always be here. I also don’t want to die with guilt or regret, hence I wanted to spend the rest of the time we have. This journey is nothing but ‘Death’ for all of us. I might had been too arrogant when I said I could defeat Darkness, however what I only want was for you to be safe and I, to be your shield.”

I lifted my head, looking into him as I noticed the genuineness and the seriousness his eyes had.

He resumed, “Use me as much as you want, cover everything however long you want. At the end of the day, I’d be a foolish husband who trusts you and loves you as much as I did before. I’ll be someone to send you to your camaraderie, somewhere peaceful where you could forget your problems.”

“Zaren, that’s not—”

He held my cheeks with a mysterious smile, “Other than Rymond, I could be your strongest weapon. I won’t coerce you into loving me, but for as long as I live, I want to remain by your side.”

“Zaren, stop. I don’t want to hear anything…”

He shook his head, dismissing my words with a disapproving shake of his head. “I can’t do that. I’ve loved you so much I can afford to be labeled as a tool and a foolish husband. I looked pathetic, but whatever others call me, I won’t mind as long as your eyes looked into mine.”

I frowned and lowered my head. “Give me some more time, I need to process everything.”

I felt his hands wrapped around my neck and then patted my back. “The warmth I’ve hidden deep within me was long ago yours and now that the flame has been lit, I wouldn’t be able to open my eyes without you anymore. So, Yula… can you promise that whatever you’re hiding, it wouldn’t harm you?”

I faltered, “If I said it would?”

Zaren held my hand with a sorrowful smile, “I’ll send you to another dimension yet again. Remember I am a foolish husband and a man, crazily in love with you.”

Before I knew it, my tears fell from my eyes, and I quietly sobbed. “Z-Zaren, I… I don’t know what to do. This feels s-surreal. W-what shall I do? I f-feel like I am th-the root…”

And as if his console wasn’t enough, I held his arms like there was no tomorrow and covered my crying face using his clothes. Alas, I couldn’t hide my emotions to someone who already knew mine.

“I told you wherever, whatever, and whenever it’ll be, I’m on your side. Don’t weigh everything, I am here, I am your husband not a mere someone. Yula, I want you to trust me a little more, rely on me a little more and use me a lot more among anything else.”

He caressed my cheeks and I felt more loved than I was before. I couldn’t thank him enough, but what I only want for him and for others was to be saved. What if I was also a Dark Practitioner without my knowing? I want to confirm and before I tell anything, I’ll dig into this more.

I looked into his eyes and forced a smile while he wiped my tears.

“I’ll tell you e-everything. J-just do know that what I only want i-is for you to be saved. D-don’t be such a fool and give yourself as a tribute to the Gods.”

Zaren pulled me into his embrace and assured me.

“I’d only do that if you leave my side once again. I only want you nothing else.”

I held his arms, “Arvhin… our child..”

He smiled and planted a kiss on my forehead, “We could make one if we succeeded in defeating Darkness. But that’s wholly your choice. Yula, I love you more than anything in this world, so just lean on me, I am your shield, your husband, and your man. World is meaningless if I spend it alone, I want to see it with you in my arms.”

I closed my arms at his unexpected yet genuine confession. After everything, I want to clear up all these mistakes and grievances. I will tell him everything without further ado. For now, I want to be committed to my unknown origin and will.

“Zaren… I also only want you.”

“That’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life.”

We smiled at each other and giggled.