45 - Shaken

“You what?” I said.

“I’m your father,” Nolan repeated. “That has to be why your mother left me twenty-eight years ago. She always said I wasn’t someone who could be tied down, that she didn’t know if we would have a future. That I was a fling man.”

Twenty-eight years… In this life, that would be right around when my mom would have been pregnant. The timeline made sense.

Now that I was looking for it, I could see the resemblance between us. We had the same straight nose, the same almond eyes, and the same chin. And now that I’d seen it, there was no unseeing it.

“Wow,” I breathed. Thank God I was sitting down because if I’d been standing, I might have fallen.

I already knew George Lush wasn’t my father, so based on what Nolan said, it was truly the only explanation that made sense. Nolan Lyndon was my father.

That would make Alex … my stepbrother.

I glanced at Alex, whose normally tan face had turned white. He was staring, wide-eyed, at his stepdad. Talk about some crazy family dynamics. I knew some people had dated their step-siblings, but I’d never seen myself doing so. Did it matter that I didn’t know? Did it even matter at all?

Alex, apparently thinking the same thing, said, “Hey, it’s not like we’re related. Nolan isn’t my dad by blood.” He turned to Nolan. “He’s just my dad in every other sense of the word.”

Nolan offered a small smile. “I love you, too, Son.” Spreading his hands, he added, “I know this is a lot to take in. Eat the cookie. It will help.”

I took a bite of the chocolate chip cookie, and he was right. The decadent taste was a welcome distraction. I guess that’s why they call it comfort food.

My emotions churned like stormy waters. On the one hand, I was relieved that my real family wasn’t so dysfunctional and toxic. I liked Nolan, and I felt like I fit in at his home. But it was one thing to know that the family that raised you wasn’t your blood; it was another to realize who your blood was for the first time.

I felt shaken to be forced to face the truth. That my whole life had been a lie. That much of my suffering had been at the hands of people who wanted to punish me for the circumstances of my birth. It was definitely eye-opening.

“Can we come back to this topic?” I said finally, unable to process everything.

“Of course,” Nolan said. “Here. Have another cookie.”

“Are you trying to fatten me up?” I teased.

He laughed. “Just eat it.”

I took another bite. Then everything that I remembered came back to me. “So,” I mumbled between bites of cookie, “let’s talk about Sean.”

“I investigated Max thoroughly, but I never thought there could be someone else involved. I will look into Sean and his dealings starting tomorrow,” Nolan said. “It might be best if you came with me this time.”

“Okay,” I agreed. “And today, I can go talk to him. I’ll be casual and just try to get information without revealing what I know.”

It was late, but I knew Sean frequented the biggest strip club in town, the Naughty Night. There was a good chance I’d find him there.

“Great idea,” Alex said. “Do you need me to come with you? You know, for moral support.”

“That’s okay.” I shook my head. “I’m going to look for him at the Naughty Night. I think we both know what happened the last time we both went there.”

I’d drunk-dialed Alex, and when he showed up, I mistook him for a stripper. Then, when he drove me home, I puked on the side of the road. It wasn’t one of my finest moments, and it was probably yet another reason to stop drinking. Alcohol wasn’t a solution to my problems; it only created more. What I really needed was therapy. But I could only imagine what would happen if I chose to be completely honest with a therapist.

“Yes, well, I died two years in the future and woke up on my twenty-seventh birthday. That was how I learned of my husband’s infidelity.”

I was sure that would go over really well. I would probably become quickly acquainted with the feel of a straitjacket. No, I’d have to leave certain details out.

Nolan looked from me to Alex in a mixture of concern and disapproval at my mention of the strip club, but he wisely said nothing. I didn't feel like elaborating to my biological father on why Alex and I were there. No need to further traumatize the man.

“Fair point,” Alex said. “But you should come back here afterward. I don’t like the idea of you alone in that house with your thoughts.”

I nodded because he was right. There was too much going on in my life, and if I dwelled too deeply on things, I was going to head toward a spiral. Being alone in my chaos was unwise. “Deal.”

Alex squeezed my hand. “You’re going to make it through this, Fay. You’re not alone.”

“Thank you,” I managed, finishing my cookie. Wiping the crumbs off my fingers, I stood. If I was going to try to find Sean, I needed to change, and I needed to pack some clothes for an overnight stay at Alex and Nolan’s. “I’ll text you when I’m on my way back.”

“In case we’re asleep, I’ll leave the door unlocked,” Nolan said. “Just let yourself in.”

“Okay.”

I rose and left, getting into my car. The drive home gave me too much time to think, even though it was brief. I tried not to let my rage overtake me. It was essential to keep a cool head when I was about to do some sleuthing. My rampant emotions would just get in the way, and I didn’t want to clue Sean in that I knew.

I dressed in a silky red dress and high heels, quickly styling my hair. Then I applied a deep-red lipstick, eyeshadow, and mascara. It was time.

The Naughty Night was on the opposite side of town. I was going there with the hope that Sean would be there, but it was late. The odds weren’t the best.

When I arrived, I was happy to see there was no line. But after ten at night, most people would already be inside. Plus, it was a Tuesday. So, I went in, my head high and my chin raised. I was Fay Lush, and I wasn’t going to cower before anyone.

As luck—or fate—would have it, Sean was inside! It was obvious he’d been drinking from the way his eyes drooped and how he fumbled when picking up his glass. He sat at one of the tables with a pretty brunette. His eyes burned with lust as I approached.

“Mind if I join you?” I gestured to the empty seat on his other side.

“Sure,” Sean slurred. “Stephanie was just leaving.”

The brunette protested, but Sean shot her a glare that could have curdled milk. She rose to her feet, scowling in my direction, and I sat in the seat next to Sean.

“Now that you’re single,” Sean purred, “have you changed your mind?”

“Are you sure you can afford me?” I teased, my tone flirtatious. It sickened me to lead on a jerk like him, but I needed to know more about his involvement in Max’s and Owen’s crimes.

“Baby, I’ve got money the likes of which you’ve never seen,” he bragged.

This was my opening. I jumped on it. “Oh? Tell me more.” Placing a hand on his arm, I leaned in like he had my rapt attention.

“Baby,” he slurred, sending a wave of disgust through me, “there are ways to increase your funds exponentially if you know where to look.” His hand moved down to my hip, and I fought the urge to recoil. “I can show you if you’d like.”

“Why don’t you tell me?” I leaned even closer despite my instincts to shift away.

He nuzzled my neck. “I’m a magician. I can pull money out of thin air.”

“Wow,” I said, feigning being impressed. “How does one do that?”

“There are ways to make more money on the down-low. You can turn illegitimate sources of income into legitimate income.”

That was all I needed to know to confirm my suspicions. Thankfully, I’d learned from my experience with Sky and Owen, so I’d recorded the whole conversation. Now it was time to extricate myself.

I pretended like my phone was ringing. “Sorry, I have to take this. It’s someone I’ve been waiting on. Talk to you tomorrow?” I put a hopeful tone into my voice, but I was hoping for quite the opposite.

Sean nodded, though in his drunken state, he looked more like a bobblehead than a human. It was almost funny to watch.

I doubted he would remember our conversation tomorrow. He was falling asleep where he sat. I wasn’t sure why the club had kept serving him drinks, but anything to make money, I guess.

Leaving, I drove back to Alex and Nolan’s mansion. Most of the lights were off, but Alex still had his light on. They’d offered me the guest room, which was right next to his.

Entering the front door and locking it behind me, I ascended the stairs. Alex met me at the landing. “Hey,” he said sleepily. “How’d it go?”

“He’s definitely in on it,” I answered, yawning. “I’ll show you the evidence tomorrow.”

“I’m sorry. It must feel like you’ve been surrounded by vipers. Do you want to talk about it?”

I shook my head. “I just need to crash if that’s okay. We can revisit things tomorrow.”

“Sure. Your room is ready for you.”

“Thanks.”

We both went to bed in our separate rooms, and I lay awake for a long time, unable to sort through my racing thoughts. I begged fate to show me what the people in my life would be doing without me in theirs. I was curious to know what my the Lush family would be doing without me, where Owen would be, and what would have become of my mom and Nolan if she had never gotten pregnant.

When I finally did fall asleep, it was into a dream.