CHAPTER THRITY-NINE

CHAPTER THRITY-NINE
ANTHONY’S POV

Thinking about the bullying and humiliation I faced back then brought tears to my eyes. It was so suffocating being stuck in school for 8-9 hours everyday for five days in a week. My mental health was deteriorating and I had no idea who to turn to for help because every where I went, people only had mean comments and nasty glares to deliver.

“They would write mean things on my locker and take my stuff, making me look for it all day long. I had no idea why they were being mean to me like this. I knew they didn’t like me, but they mostly treated me like I didn’t exist. Then all of a sudden, I was good enough to be their punching bag.

“It became clear to me why they were treating me like that. I heard one of the girls talking about it during lunch one day. Everyone in school knew that I liked boys and I never told them that. The only person I told was Blake and he outed me to the whole school. And when they started bullying me because of it, he did nothing. He just stood by and watched it happen.”

I was crying by the time I finished the story. It may not seem like a big deal to some, but to me it was everything. I wasn’t completely comfortable with the discovery of my sexuality. I hadn’t come to terms with it yet and I wasn’t prepared for others to know about it. It was just frustrating for me to have to deal with it alone, so I told the one person I thought I could trust and he just betrayed me like that! He sold me out to the cruel populace that is the middle school crowd and watched me suffer.

The school had to call in my parents when the bullying got so severe and that’s how they found out about me being gay. My father did not take that revelation well and till this day, I was suffering for the shock of revealing it to him like that.

“Oh my God, sweetie.” Michael’s soft and soothing voice made me a little at ease. I didn’t know how it was for him when he came out, but I could imagine that he at least understood what I went through.

“I am so sorry you went through that.” He pulled me in for a hug and I let my body sink into his warm embrace. We stayed there for a while and then he pulled away and looked at me.

“I wish I was at your school. I would have kicked all their assess and made them eat mine for being such disgusting and crass homophobes.” I laughed, already feeling better.

“As much as I hate the person who did that to you, I have to tell you that it wasn’t Blake that outed you.” My smile instantly faded.

What the hell was he talking about?

“Of course it was Blake who told everyone I was gay. No one else knew about it.”

“Trust me when I tell you that it wasn’t Blake,” he insisted.

“Okay, if it wasn’t him, then who did it?”

“I have no idea, but it wasn’t Blake. I hate the guy but I have always respected and admired him for one reason – he loves you more than anything in the world. I have never met anyone more consistent in their love for another human being than Blake with you.”

“Are we talking about the same Blake Lindell?” None of his actions over the last three years have indicated any sign that he loved me. In fact, it has succeeded in proving to me just how much he hates me and wants to ruin my life. From his outing me to the whole school to bullying me with his stupid friends, dating my sister, pretending to be friends with me and then humiliating me in front of Gary! All those things don't spell out ‘LOVE’ to me.

“Do you know why Blake and I hate each other?” I shook my head. Now that he mentioned it, I didn’t know their origin story. All I knew was that he and Blake argued a lot before and after every game they played and their argument was always intense.

“It was the first semester in ninth grade. I was excited for the game my school had against your school. I wasn’t on the team then but I was super pumped for the game. We all went over to NVH and the first person I laid my eyes on was Blake Lindell. He was a scrawny ass dude with black hair as thick as a bush but he was fine as hell!”

It was extremely weird hearing Michael describe Blake like that, but at the same time it was relatable. I mean, I liked him for the longest time, and even till now that I was supposed to hate him, my mind just wouldn’t stop conjuring images of him!

“I knew I liked boys then, and I was cool with it. So, I went up to him and started talking to him. He was really nice to me and by the time the first half of the game was over, I was certain I had a friend here. He was on the basketball team then, but he didn’t play in the game.

“Just then, while all the players were taking a break and getting ready for the next half, the most beautiful, breathtakingly gorgeous boy I had ever laid eyes on walks into the court, sneakers way too big for him and a jersey that looked like it was made just for him, a ridiculous goofy smile on his face. He was holding a duffel bag over his shoulder that looked like it would tip him over if a light breeze would pass by. Yeah, forget Blake Lindell, I wanted that guy.”

I had a vague recollection of that day.

“I was the boy with the oversized sneakers and jersey with the duffel that could overthrow him!” I said excitedly and he nodded. Damn! Who would have thought that I met Michael back in the ninth grade. And that he wanted me! He was with Blake Lindell for almost thirty minutes and when he saw me, he decided to ditch Blake for me! The scrawniest kid on the block!

“Yes, you were, and you looked so damn good I wanted you all to myself. Of course, I asked about you and at first he was excited to relay all the information about you to me. But then I asked if you were seeing anyone and whether you liked guys and he got all defensive like I asked a forbidden question. He got so mad at me he didn’t talk to me for the rest of the game. After that I went over to meet you myself since my wingman was acting like such a bitch but guess what he did? He tripped me right in the middle of the basketball team’s celebration, and I pulled down someone’s shorts in the process.”

“Oh my God! I remember that.” I was trying my best to not laugh because he didn’t seem to find it funny, but I couldn’t help but recall how Blake and I laughed about it and even mocked the boy who did it for the longest time. It was our very own joke, our go-to when we were pissed and frustrated on the court. Who knew that guy was the Michael Tema sitting before me now?

“I was so mad at him, I wanted to punch him, but he was like lightning; one minute he was there, the next he was not. Safe to say I was humiliated that day and I never got to talk to the pretty boy I so badly wanted.

“My point is, Blake knew you were gay, and he probably guessed I was gay too since I asked that question and I couldn’t stop talking about how cute you were. He could have assumed that since we both liked guys, it’d be easier if he told me about you so you could just figure out your sexuality with me, but he didn’t do that. He kept your secret and even stopped me from asking a question that might have outed you in the process. I was a complete stranger, the perfect opportunity for him to out you and not get it traced back to him if he wanted, but he didn’t do that, because he cared about you. I don't know about anything else, but I’m pretty certain someone who protected you when you weren’t even there would not go on to spill your secret for all and sundry especially when it could easily be tracked down to them.”

I understood then why he asked that question when I told him about coming out to Blake first in ninth grade. I let his words sink it and the more I thought about it, the more confused I got, but also the more it made sense. But what if it was just Michael trying to make me feel better? What if he misunderstood Blake’s reason for his reaction and is just relaying this information based on his misjudgement?

“But I didn’t tell anyone else that I was gay. He was the only one who knew about so it has to be him.”

“It doesn’t have to be him, you want it to be him. Did you ask Blake about it? What did he say?”

“Well,” I said, thinking back to that time. I was quite angry then when I found out and I didn’t have the patience to listen to his lies anymore. “I did ask him if he told anyone about me being gay but he said no. Obviously I didn’t believe him. I thought he was lying and I got mad and I punched him.”

“It would have been so nice to witness you punch Blake Lindell. But you punched the wrong guy.”

He stood up from the bench and stretched his arms. I guess it was time to go. It was almost four o’clock in the morning and I had school in the morning.

“I don't like Blake but it’s because he stopped me from asking you out when I wanted to. That’s why I did when I won the game. It was to piss him off, but also because I really, really liked you and I wanted to date you. Other than that, Blake Lindell is pretty awesome. I don't know what he did to you this time around, but I think you owe him an apology for wrongfully accusing him for outing you.”

I got up as well and stood in front of him. He was smiling at me and my heart ached a bit as I thought how much I was going to miss his smile.

“He really cares about you and I know he wouldn’t have done something like that that hurt you so much. Blake would rather die than let that happen. I know this because I observe and I have seen the way he looks at you. Even when you guys weren’t talking to each other, he still cared a lot, although I can understand why you’d find that hard to believe since he was the one making your life miserable.”

He inched closer and grabbed my hand, staring into my eyes.

“I don't like that we’re breaking up, but I think it’s what you deserve. Be with someone you love and who loves you back.” He leaned in and rested his lips against mine, but he didn’t kiss me. Then he said, “Blake told me about the ice cream. He was insanely pissed at me for ‘poisoning’ you and he made a list of things that you liked and didn’t like. I figured after that I wasn’t the right one for you after all.” After that he did kiss me, but it was a warm, soft and farewell kiss.

“Like I said before, Blake really loves you. I have never seen anyone love another human being the way Blake loves you. Vindicate him of that crime that you have spent three years of your life believing he committed. Trust me, you’ll be a lot freer if you do, and maybe, just maybe you’ll find out who actually did it.” He started backing away, his smile unwavering, but his eyes were clouded with liquid.

“I’m gonna miss you so much, Anthony. If I call or text, please ignore me. I’m just trying to get over you. Apologize to Blake. You guys are way too adorable for your friendship to end over something that wasn’t even his fault.”

And with that final advice, he was gone.

I stood in Citrus Park for a while, hearing the wind blow softly while I thought back to that incident. When I asked him and he denied it, I felt angry and upset that he would lie to my face even after I knew the truth. Hearing what Michael had to say made me wonder whether I jumped into conclusions too quickly regarding the incident.

Well, there was no use thinking about it now. Blake would crush me if I even so much as show my footprint in front of him.

Yeah, but when has you being angry at Blake ever stopped him from darkening your doorstep? Time to return the favour.