CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
ANTHONY’S POV

It was one of those days when school was just not interesting enough for me to willingly keep my eyes open during class. Biology wasn’t my favourite subject and the person who taught it made the experience worse. We were given an assignment last week, but I couldn’t find my textbook so I didn’t do it. Of course, misplacing your textbook wasn’t a reasonable excuse for not doing your homework, so I got detention and my own personal essay: A Fifteen-Paged Essay Explaining Cell Division According to Some Famous Scientist Who Apparently Discovered It. It didn’t help at all that I was artfully taking a nap while Mrs. Brown – whose daughter I apparently dry-humped in ninth grade just to convince myself and everyone else I wasn’t gay – was explaining said assignment.

“Hey Tony.” I looked up from my locker to see Gary smiling at me like I was a freaking trophy that he was so proud to have won. Mrs. Brown’s class lasted longer than I expected and it drained the little energy I had, so I ended up looking at him with a grimace that was meant to be a happy smile.

“Hey Gary. How was the contest?” Gary smiled sheepishly. It was weird seeing a big guy like himself smile like that, but at the same time he looked adorable.

“Came second place. You were an excellent muse.” I blushed at his admiration and closed my locker gently. I expected him to say goodbye or tease me a little and then leave, but he lingered there, seemingly waiting for me to be done.

“Yes Gary?”

“I’d like to talk to you. Alone.” He whispered that last part and something about the way he said it made me feel uneasy – for the very first time – around him. Gary always made me smile and blush and feel like I had butterflies in my belly, but never had he ever made me feel uneasy. It was a new feeling I didn’t want to associate with him, so I shook it off and followed him to the external library.

“How does it feel to be friends with Blake again?” he asked me as soon as we got settled – well, we were standing, but still – in the library. His smile was becoming more like a smirk and even though I was a bit confused by it, he still did look very handsome.

“It’s okay, I guess. We’re trying to put the past behind us and just forget everything that happened after I came out. He’s been really cool, although he can be annoying.” I thought of Blake waking me up in the middle of the night to practice basketball with him in his backyard before the game. My thoughts then moved to when he drunkenly kissed me on my bed after the Halloween party and heat consumed my face.

“You say that he can be annoying, but you don't look annoyed and I know for certain that you’re thinking about him.” Gary’s teasing sent a blush up my cheeks and down my neck. I cleared my throat awkwardly and looked at anything but him.

“You know, Anthony, you are the cutest thing I have ever seen. I love how expressive your face is. There’s nothing hidden with you – your face says it all and so you can’t bullshit me or anyone. That’s one of the reasons I like you.”

If it was the old me who wanted nothing but to be acknowledged by Gary, his compliment and the statement he made about liking me would have made me blush my head off and I wouldn’t have thought of it any other way other than the fact that a straight guy who I can’t have liked me – just as a friend of course. Now, my head was processing it in a different way.

I looked at him and he still had that teasing-smirky look on his face.

“You know, when I found out you were gay, I though for sure that Blake was too and that you two were dating.” He took a step forward and I took one back. I don't think he noticed how tensed I got and how cautious I was being because he kept talking.

“But then you guys fell out and he started dating Susan. I guess he wasn’t gay and he probably didn’t like that you were so he called your friendship off or whatever. I thought it was a good thing you guys stopped talking. I always felt like I couldn’t compete against Blake Lindell.” I gave a dry chuckle.

“Why would you want to compete against Blake? I used to think you were way cooler than he was.”

“Used to?” he asked, a coy smile playing at his lips. “Well, I guess since you guys are back together, you will hold him in higher esteem. I’ll admit, I was a little worried that you’ll start liking him again...” My eyes bulged out of my sockets. How the hell did he know that I liked Blake?
I guess he read my mind because he said, “Oh, c’mon Anthony, it’s alright. I think everyone knew you liked Blake back then. It was no secret.”

Shit! If everyone knew, does that mean Blake also knew? Is that why he did what he did? Because he couldn’t bear the idea of someone like me liking him?

“But he started dating your sister and you didn’t seem to mind so I assumed you were over him, right?”

He looked at me imploringly, waiting for me to answer his question. I nodded slightly, too stunned to speak.

“That just means you’re free to date anyone else, right?” He took the last step forward and that’s when I realized I forgot to move backwards. We were now so close to each other that I could almost hear his heartbeat against his chest. I couldn’t open my mouth to tell him that I already had a boyfriend.

“You really are the prettiest boy in school.” He looked down at my lips, and before I could register his words, I felt his lips against mine. It stayed there for only three seconds, before he pulled away.

My heart was beating rapidly against my rib cage, and it was not from excitement like when I kissed Blake or Michael. I was sacred and I was freaking out because what the hell just happened??!! Why did Gary, a very much straight guy, just kiss me in the external library?

It didn’t look like he could see the turmoil in my head, neither could he interpret the shocked expression on my face. Instead, he leaned in again and kissed me, this time more forcefully. I always dreamed of kissing Gary, but I never actually wanted it to come to pass. Now that it was happening, it felt more like a nightmare that I wanted so badly to wake up from.

When it didn’t seem like I was going to give into him, he pressed further, trying hard to pry my lips apart so that he could get into my mouth. He was hurting me with the way he held my face and tilted my head, and I tried to tear him away from me but he was way too big for me to move. My pounding against his arms finally got through to him and he pulled away.

“What the hell Gary?” I yelled. To be honest, I was terrified being alone in there with him. I didn’t know how to throw a punch, much less one at a guy like Gary. He could do whatever he wanted to do to me there and I would be as helpless as an old woman in a Kansas breeze.

“What the hell? What the hell with you?” he snapped. His eyes were no longer the pretty, friendly blue they used to be. Now they were icy and cold and it sent a shiver down my spine. “Why are you playing hard to get, huh?”

“What the hell are you talking about, Gary?” I was completely lost. What did he put in his protein shake this morning?

He scoffed and ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “Oh, please, don't act like you don't think about me all the time. I see the way you look at me. You play your part as the innocent, cute little gay boy vying for the attention of just about any handsome guy that’d bother to look your way just fine.” His words struck me like a slap against my cheek. I wanted to cry, but I didn’t. Looking like a cry baby in front of Gary would be more embarrassing than that stupid Ninth Grade Incident.

“You don't want to come off too strong, so you act like you’re clueless and bat your lashes at me and even agree to do a nude pose for me, but the second I kiss you, you take a step back? No one likes a tease, Pearce.”

“I don't know what the hell gave you the idea that I was into you, but you’re wrong.”

I can’t believe I once thought he was awesome! Blake was right; Gary was an asshole. It sucked that I didn’t listen to him.

Gary smirked and it irked me. He was too confident with that look on his face, and I felt cold all over again.

“You and Blake deserve each other. I used to feel bad for you when he picked on you and bullied you with his friends. I couldn’t fathom how one could go from being best friends to being enemies in a second like you two did, but now, I totally get it. Birds of the same feathers do flock together, but sometimes, the competition can get real and one just has to end up leading the way.”

He succeeded in confusing me even more. I was about to scream that I had no clue what he was saying when he ransacked his backpack that he dropped the moment we got here, and pulled out a biology textbook. One look at the cover that was plastered with lyrics from Taylor Swift’s songs and I knew instantly that it was the textbook I was looking for.

“Did you plan this with Blake?” he asked, waving the book around. My heart rate spiked to an abnormal level. I could barely hear what he was saying as all my focus was fixed on the book.

“I asked him to lend me his textbook and he gave me this. I open it in the middle of class and I see this letter that you apparently wrote to me. God, I can’t believe I was even excited to learn that you had a crush on me.”

In that moment, I couldn’t breathe. The tears I didn’t want falling in front of Gary broke free and streamed down my face like a silent water fall. My mind was whirling with so many different thoughts.

Gary liked me and he was excited that I liked him back.

How the hell did Blake get my textbook?

Gary read the letter that I stored there.

Why the hell did Blake give him my textbook?

Did Blake read the letter as well? Is that why he gave it to Gary, so he could mess with me?

In my defence, I wrote that a very long time ago. I was bored in class one day and I was daydreaming about making out with him as usual, and I got mad at myself because 1) Gary was straight and 2) he didn’t even know I liked him. Since I couldn’t change the first one, I decided to remedy the second by writing him a letter. But I lost the courage to send it to him the moment I finished it so I stuffed it in my textbook and forgot all about it.

And now Gary had it. And he was mad at me for tricking him with Blake.

Blake...Blake...Blake...

I can’t believe he would do this to me. He probably saw the letter and thought it was a good idea to send it to Gary to mess with me as usual. But this wasn’t like a regular prank. He has been mean to me, and I mean really mean to me, but he has never done anything to cause me this level of pain emotionally.

Except for that one time...

The Ninth Grade Incident came to my mind instantly. The taunting, the bullying, the name calling and all the horrible pranks that were pulled on me then flashed through my mind, triggering my PTSD. I was once again filled with the same level of hatred that I have had for Blake Lindell since that time.

Of course he did this! It wouldn’t be the first time he was doing something like this to me.

“I really hope you two stay friends for a long time. You really deserve each other,” Gary spat, and then he threw my textbook on the floor. It echoed in that empty space and as he marched out of there angrily, I saw the note I wrote sticking out from within the pages.

I bent down and picked it up, staring at it angrily while my whole body shook with my rage. Then I squeezed the piece of paper as my hands balled into fists.

Oh, Gary, you’re hoping in vain because Blake Lindell and I are about to be enemies again.