Chapter 109 Bella's POV

Chapter 109 Bella's POV
Chapter Hundred and nine

Bella's POV

I finally made it back to my room. The minute the door closed behind me, I leaned against the door for a moment and slowly slid down the door.

My body was trembling.

I slowly dragged myself up to the bed. I sank onto the edge of the bed, clutching the blanket.

I buried my face in the pillow, letting the tears fall freely this time.

Why did everything have to be so complicated with Xander… Daniel… Noah… me?

I curled up on the bed, hugging my knees to my chest.

I let myself remember how Daniel had threatened me, how GDC had tormented me, how Xander had known all along and yet kept me in the dark.

I wanted to be angry at him. I wanted to scream. I wanted to throw something. But all I could do was cry.

I curled tighter, letting the pillow soak up my tears, and whispered into the darkness, “I can’t… I can’t deal with this right now.”

By the time I woke up, I had no sense of time.

I had a throbbing ache at my temple. I was so exhausted from crying that I must have fallen asleep unknowingly.

A knock at the door startled me. My heart leapt into my throat.

“Bella… it’s me,” Xander’s voice called softly from the other side.

I froze, gripping the sheets. My mind raced: Should I answer? Should I keep quiet?

“I… I need to talk to you,” he continued.

I hesitated, then opened the door just enough to peek through.

“I… I didn’t sleep last night,” he admitted, voice low. “I stayed in the living room, just… watching. Making sure you were okay.”

I looked away, swallowing hard. “I needed time, Xander. I… I can’t just… I don’t even know what to think right now.”

He nodded, taking a careful step closer. “I know… and I understand. I shouldn’t have kept the truth from you. I thought I was protecting you… protecting us… but I see now that it hurt you instead.”

I shook my head and said nothing. I didn't want to be reminded of the incident.

“I just… I didn’t want to scare you,” he continued. “I… I was wrong, Bella.”

I wanted to forgive him, but my heart was still hurt.

“I… I don’t know if I can just… move past this,” I whispered.

He nodded again, swallowing hard. “I understand. I’ll give you space… whatever you need. I just… I can’t stay away from you completely. Not while I care about you this much.”

I felt a lump in my throat. “I care about you too… Xander. I do. But I’m scared… and I don’t know if I can trust myself to not get hurt again.”

He stepped back slightly, respecting my boundaries, but his gaze didn’t waver. “Then we’ll take it slow. No pressure. I’ll be here when you’re ready.”

I nodded. “Thank you.”

“I'll see you at the office and I'll try my best to give you space. I'll be going home now, take care Bella. Tell Noah hi for me when he wakes up.”

I nodded as he left.

I got up and got dressed slowly. Noah sat on the couch eating cereal, humming to himself, blissfully unaware of everything happening between me and Xander.

His nanny was already around.

When I finally grabbed my bag and keys, Noah looked up at me with those wide, innocent eyes.

“Mommy, are you okay?”

My chest tightened. “Yeah, baby… mommy’s just tired.”

He nodded and went back to his cereal, but I could tell he didn’t fully believe me.

The drive to the office felt tiring. I didn't even have to start work, and I was already tired. The dull ache in my temple refused to stop.

When I reached the building, I hesitated before stepping out of the car.

Going inside meant facing Xander, and I wasn’t sure I was ready.

But I couldn’t hide forever. So I squared my shoulders, inhaled deeply, and walked toward the elevator.

The second the doors opened on my floor, something felt… different.

It was as if the whole office knew about my sour mood.

I walked to my office, keeping my gaze low. My hands trembled when I reached for the handle and then I paused.

The day dragged on slowly. I answered emails, took calls, handled tasks like a ghost of myself. Every time I stepped out into the hallway, I caught glimpses of Xander from afar.

He never approached me, he was just… there.

Once, I saw him speaking to someone while holding a file. He glanced up, our eyes met for a single second, and he looked away, giving me the space he promised.

By lunchtime I still hadn’t eaten the croissant. My appetite was a mess, my emotions worse. When I stepped into the break room, I wasn’t expecting to run into him. But I did.

Xander stood by the coffee machine with his sleeves rolled up and tie loosened. His eyes were tired and honestly, I couldn't blame him. Last night was intense.

The moment he saw me, he froze in shock.

“Bella,” he said gently.

I swallowed. “Hi.”

Silence stretched between us, heavy and awkward.

He cleared his throat. “I didn’t want you to think I’m avoiding you. I just… don’t want to overwhelm you.”

His voice cracked, just barely, and that tiny crack felt like a punch to my chest.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

He nodded, relief flickering across his features. He took a slight step back, giving me room. “If you’re uncomfortable, I’ll leave.”

“No,” I said quickly. “You’re fine.”

“I just, I just wanted to say thank you. I've seen the effort you're putting in making me comfortable. Thanks for showing up yesterday, I don't know what I would have done with you.”

A small smile spread across his features. “It's fine. Anything for you, Bella. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable yesterday with you know, my confession.”

“Uh.. yeah. About that…”