Chapter 41 The Dive
I took the slope at a dead run.
The thump-thump-thump of my boots on the churned earth echoed, a jarring rhythm that sent tremors vibrating up my very bones, a gritty clatter against stray stones. My skirt, a dark swirl of fabric, was a clenched fist in my hand, pulled high to my thigh, a desperate measure to avoid a stumble. In my other hand, the cold, rough metal of the ring dug into my palm, a constant, biting reminder of its presence at my throat.
I ignored the pain. I focused on the task. I had to time this right.
The early morning fog felt like it was swallowing the world. I had to hope it was on my side and not my enemy.
I breathed in the salty air as I approached.
Took in the Bruise-colored dawn.
Everything blurred except the map pressed under my blouse and the savage pounding of my heart. I kept replaying the blood trailing path and the dangers that awaited.
The wind off the harbor hit me sharp with coal smoke and old rot. It tore at my braid, sent the blue ribbon cracking behind me like a snapped pennant. Lanterns swung over the docks in feverish gold halos, bodies moving through them like ghosts.
Then I saw her. The Ghost. And my whole chest lurched.
She rose out of the fog black and sleek and terrible, already pulling from the dock.
"No!" I screamed, my voice raw and ragged, as I bolted forward. The cool, damp air whipped against my face, stinging my eyes, but I barely registered it. The frantic pounding of my heart echoed in my ears, a frantic drumbeat against the sudden silence that had fallen. I didn't care about the startled gasps or the curious glances that surely followed; all that mattered was the desperate, burning need to keep pace, to feel the ground tremble beneath my feet. They were not leaving me behind.
The gangplank still hung down but lines were snaking free, one after another, ropes slithering over wet planks. Men shouted. Barrels scraped. Wood groaned.
The departure sounded like defeat, but I ran harder. Bram loomed aboard. Would he let me go like everyone else, or would he push me to prove myself? He had before. There was only one way to find out.
“Bram!” I screamed.
My voice tore raw out of me, a desperate plea.
He turned and Saw me, For one heartbeat his face opened, Hope, Shock. Something almost joyful.
Then it slammed shut, a sharp, jarring sound like a door violently closing. His jaw tightened, a hard clench felt in his own teeth. His hand twitched upwards, hovering for a suspended moment, a ghost of movement before falling heavily, a silent, heavy thud.
My lungs burned, but I kept running. My determination pushing me forward. This wasn’t the end.
Dockworkers cursed as I shoved through them. A fishwife nearly clocked me with a crate and I ducked under her arm without slowing. My boots slid on slime-slick boards.
The gap between shore and ship was widening. Too fast for my liking. As I caught a glimpse of another face. I tried again. My Voice raspier than when I called out to Bram.
“Silas!”
The name ripped out of me like blood. He turned near the quarterdeck. And for one wild second I thought he might leap overboard and drag me up himself.
His whole body tightened and Then locked. Holding himself back. His shoulders said what his mouth never would.
Don’t make me choose.
Fine.
I kept running.
Would have run through fire. Then Reed saw me. Sweet stupid Reed. He threw up a hand in the saddest greeting I’d ever seen. And Talon yanked him back by the collar.
Hard.
I heard Talon’s hiss even over the harbor noise. My blood boild at that. But Ignored it as I pushed further. I watched Reed sagged under it. But his eyes never left mine.
Good.
Watch.
All of you watch.
I scrambled up a stack of salt-crusted crates, fingers slipping, boots skidding. The wood rocked under me and nearly pitched me into the harbor before I caught balance.
A lesser woman might’ve climbed down. I climbed higher. Up to the top crate. Wind hit me full in the face.
The dock below swarmed. People were gathering now. Children gawking. Old men frozen with pipes hanging from their mouths. Fishwives crossing arms to watch the fool girl die.
Maybe I was a fool.
Didn’t matter. I looked down. And my blood went cold. Black water rolled below. Moving. Waiting to eat who ever dared to test it.
I remembered sinking.
The old terror clawed up my throat. Water filling my mouth. Panic chewing through reason. My hands went numb. But my feet stayed planted. Because terror wasn’t enough anymore.
Talon looked up.
Smiled.
Cruel bastard.
Like he’d expected exactly this. Like U wasn’t brave enough. I watched Reed clung white-knuckled to the rail. Bram still wouldn’t look at me.
Cowards.
All of them. Then I drew breath so deep it hurt and screamed—
“Fisk!” The harbor threw his name back at me. The Hull. The Wharf. The Windows. The Water.
Fisk.
Fisk.
Fisk.
He turned. Everything stopped. Absolutely everything. I saw the impact. It hit him. His face changed. A raw, wounded look appeared. It wasn't just pain. It wasn't just wonder. It was something worse. Something human. His eyes met mine. The water was between us.
My favorite shade of Green.
And suddenly the whole world narrowed to that gaze. Just him. Just me. Just distance. And the question hanging between.
Do you dare?
The crates groaned. The drop looked farther. The tide slapped the pilings. It sounded hungry. If I missed, I would drown.
I knew it.
I tasted the truth. Salt was on my lips. Fear was in my teeth. My heart beat hard against my ribs. It was like a war drum.
I remembered everyone who tried to hold me back. I thought about the rooms I’d escaped. And how Fisk looked at me.
I didn't want to be seen as fragile. I didn't want to be salvaged or seen as a burden. I wanted to be like a flame. I wanted to be an equal. That's what I wanted.
I wanted him. I wanted the sea. I wanted the impossible. My desire was intense. It hurt. I stepped onto the highest crate.
It lurched sideways.
Voices rose behind me. They were shouting. They shouted warnings. They shouted disbelief. I couldn’t hear the words. I only tasted blood. I only saw surf.
I met Fisk’s eyes. He stood at the stern. His hands were on the rail. He did not shout. He did not beg me. He did not command. He left the choice to me.
God help me, that made me love him a little.
I grinned.
It felt Wild. Sharp. And Alive. Then I jumped. For one impossible instant I felt like I was flying.
I felt No fear. No past. No gravity. Just motion. Forward.
Then the sea hit. Like being struck by iron. Cold punched the breath from me. Salt rammed down my throat. Darkness spun.
My body forgot up. Forgot air. Panic screamed at me.
Kick.
Kick.
Move.
I fought. I Thrashed. I Clawed at the water.
Would not sink.
Not now.
Voices above. I think I heard my name. Someone shouting. Lots of people shouting. Who was shouting?
Bram?
Reed?
Silas?
Talon?
Fisk?
It Didn’t matter. The cold sliced through me but I kicked harder. Something snagged my braid. And Dragged me down.
I ripped free so hard the ribbon tore away.
Good.
Let the sea keep a piece of me. I was going to win this. I broke the surface gasping.
The Ghost towered over me black and impossible. It was Too high to climb and too far from shore.
I’d failed—
A hand caught my wrist.
Iron grip.
Pain shot to my shoulder.
Bram.
His face Furious. So furious. His face dripping seawater and murder.
“Hold!”
I grabbed the rope.
My hands slipped. But another Caught me again.
Silas was there too.
Hauling.
Someone cursed. Someone laughed in disbelief. I was dragged over the rail like a netted fish, coughing brine onto blessed wet planks.
Deck under my knees. I felt the Wood. the sway of the Ship.
Home.
I made it.
I knelt there shaking, soaked through, lungs on fire.
Alive.
Then I looked up. And there he was.
Fisk.
Just beyond the ring of crew. Still as stone. Watching. He said nothing.
Nothing.
But his eyes—
God.
His eyes looked wrecked. They darted between emotions. He was furious. Then he was relieved. Finally, he was proud.
He looked like he wanted to kiss me. Or kill me. Maybe both. He wasn't sure which to do first.
I spat seawater.
Grinned up at him.
“You were leaving without me?”
My voice cracked. He stepped closer. Very slowly. He seemed dangerous. Salt ocean water dripped from my lashes.
He looked at me. It felt like he was checking if I was real. Then he spoke. His voice was rough.
"You insane little menace." He grabbed my arm. He pulled me close.
He relaxed. I knew I had won. I wasn't left behind. Not this time. I would never let him leave me again.