Chapter 67

CZAR

I cannot stop thinking about what Eiran said. She will leave.

And I was hit with the realization that she's starting to mean something to me. Why would I obsess over her leaving if she meant nothing?

I hit the brake and the car screeched.

She's just in tenth grade. Eventually, she will turn her head and find other men to like. And I'll lose someone again, just like I lost my mother.

I don't have to lose her if I don't have her to begin with.

I did not show up that night. Not even as a farewell. I didn’t allow myself to dance with her because once I held her, I'd become irrational and want to keep her with me.

Letting her go when we were younger was easier. I did not have a chance to fall deep because I stopped before something even started. Letting go of her now was fucking painful because I experienced her. My months with her have given me a glimpse of what it could be like. It was promising.

"Fuck," I murmured and took a swig.

Throughout our short marriage, I can never, even in my most private thoughts, admit this.

I'm in love with Avaline. Her kind soft eyes that showered me with affection. Her small fingers that managed to envelop my cold heart with warmth every time she touches my face and rakes her fingers over my hair. I fell for her strength and determination to equal me. And I fell for her worry and protectiveness.

The next day, I found myself in the same church where my mother made me promise to marry the woman I love. I sat in the exact same seat.

Maybe she knew she would leave me eventually. And knew that after losing the first woman I loved, I would not try to find another. So she cursed me in this church and sent Avaline into my life.

My mother must have known the man I would grow up to be: dark, destructive, and powerful. So she asked the God she believed so much to send a girl who would give colors to my life and humble me.

I looked back at the entrance of the church. I imagined her in a wedding dress, with music, flowers, and an aisle. That is what she deserved—what I should have given her.

Love and marriage meant disarming myself and leaving myself open to be wounded by her.

But weren't you the one who wounded her twice?

My jaw tightened at my own admission. To me, letting people into my life only leads to one outcome: being left. A person cannot mean something to me. They will leave me weak and hurting when they walk away. That is something I have to avoid feeling as the capo dei capi of La Archante organization.

I feared being abandoned; yet, I’m the one who pushed and left Avaline twice.

It didn’t occur to me that maybe she wanted to stay with me. But it seems it’s too late now. She has chosen her side. She’s a De Greco soldier.

Maybe teaming up with De Greco has its perks. For example, I can pay Yekaterinburg a visit. I am not spending another day without my wife.

As a De Greco soldier, I guard some of the De Greco establishments. I haven’t been assigned heavy tasks yet because I’m not as skilled as other members of De Greco who have been here longer.

I actually liked this setup. If I were immediately placed in a high position, I would feel that it was my name rather than my own abilities that brought me here.

I also don’t live in our mansion. I rented an apartment here in Yekaterinburg. I want to be fair to the soldiers. Everything they experience, I will experience too.

My father and I don’t talk often, not even over the phone—only on Saturdays and Sundays. But I know he has someone keeping tabs on me. That won’t change.

But the ridiculous part of all of this is that I also have someone guarding me. Where else can you hear about that? A De Greco soldier with a guard. But there’s nothing I can do about it. She was persistent.

A shadow passed by my window. I sighed.

For weeks, I tried to ignore her. She wasn’t doing anything wrong, but she had been sneaking around long enough. I’m not convinced she’s even trying to cover her tracks. She can be subtle if she wants to; she studied that as an assassin. She's deliberately trying to get my attention.

I opened the door. She was halfway in before I could even react.

"Sibley, what are you doing here?" I asked without hesitation.

"We have a deal between us. It's not in my nature not to follow through." Unlike you, she added silently.

I shook my head.

"I can't fulfill that anymore, Sibley. I do not have the means anymore. I returned the money I stole from Islas. I am now their soldier."

"I'll do it for free."

My eyes widened. I cleared my throat.

"Did you hear me? I'm a soldier for De Greco now. I don’t need anyone watching over me."

"Okay."

She immediately disappeared into the night.

She didn’t leave me alone. Not only was she close, but I knew she was my shadow. I couldn’t understand why she was so insistent on making sure I was safe.

My heart sped up and stupid hope sparked. Sibley was in Saint Petersburg when we last talked. Maybe she's now working for Czar, and I'm her assignment?

I shuddered at the thought of my ex-husband's name.

I read the address on a piece of paper to make sure I'd arrived at the right place.

Here's the translation to English:

"I shot the doorknob so I could easily open the house. I kicked the door. When I entered, the man was pounding on one of our girls beneath him. My expression hardened.

'Motherfucker, who the hell—' Alvarez stopped what he was doing when he saw me. He smirked and looked at his genitals and at the girl. 'Do you want to join us, miss?'

I narrowed my eyes.

'I have no interest. You have a debt to the De Grecos. Isn’t it clear what our instructions are? You can only touch our service girls inside the club. You’re not allowed to take them home.'

This is to ensure that the girls are not being pushed past their limits. In the club, we can monitor them. They have emergency buttons if they’re uncomfortable with what a client is doing. The members of Islas can also act quickly because they’re there in the club and on standby.

'Of all the ones they send here, they’re really weak,' he insulted.

That may be true. I am the least skilled out of all the soldiers. But I've learned not to bring emotions into my job, so I ignored him. I noticed how much he blocked with his other hand. I just couldn’t shoot his hand because the girl was still there. I aimed for his arm instead.

He groaned. He recoiled from that, allowing the girl to escape and run behind me. Alvarez's hands were heavy and trembling, but he still managed to raise his hidden gun and point it at us.

His hand was unstable, so there was a good chance his aim would be off. But I couldn’t get complacent.

I subtly scanned his house for something I could use against him.

I noticed that he was following my eye movements as well. I used his momentary distraction to shoot him again. I quickly pulled the girl down behind a sofa with me.

'Stay here,' I ordered. As I stood up, Alvarez was right in front of me, holding his shot arm.

He grabbed my hair. I twisted, but he tightened his grip as if he would pull my hair out from my scalp. I winced.

I shouldn’t have let my pride get in the way like this. I had been told to bring backup. But how weak would I be if I couldn’t handle just one person?

He threw me against the wall. Luckily, I managed to brace myself with my hands so I didn’t hit my head too hard.

I kneed his groin while simultaneously striking him with my gun on his head. He pulled my leg, causing me to fall as well. He mounted me and bit down on my lower lip.

Disgusting! And his breath stank.

He didn’t stay on top of me for long because he was immediately pulled away and punched. Within seconds, his shoe was already stepping on Alvarez's neck."