Chapter 99 Chapter Ninety-Nine
Chapter 99 Chapter Ninety-Nine
Nikolai's POV
"What if I was?" My eyes widened the moment Elena admitted she was drinking; for a moment, I wondered if I heard correctly, even though I could smell the alcohol on her breath.
"You are drinking?" I asked again, my voice quieter this time, like I didn't hear the first time; she didn't hesitate.
"Yes, I told you that already." My lips parted to say something but I couldn't find a word, so I just stared at her, trying to understand what led her to this. However, my brain couldn't form anything, except the faint scent of alcohol and a bottle that was still almost full; I hoped she hadn't drunk too much, but I still couldn't tell if I was imagining it.
"Elena," I barely managed to say her name when I find my voice but she had grabbed the front of my shirt, pulling me to herself and slammed her lips against mine, the kiss caught me completely off guard, I instinctively placed my hands on her shoulder, she kissed me harder, as though she were trying to silence every thought in my head but I know I couldn't let myself get carried away, not like this, not when she had been drinking, not when I wasn't even sure what the problem was. I pulled her away from me. "Elena, I called softly, and she tried to move closer again, but I kept my hand gently on her shoulders, holding her in place. "Listen to me."
"Nikolai, please," her voice was trembling. "I told you I don't want to talk." I stared at her, she was making this difficult.
"Then what do you want me to do?" She bit her lower lip, for a moment, she looked almost shy, then she whispered.
"I want you to kiss me," I choked on her words, my heart pounded painfully against my ribs, because I know the meaning of those words, it might sound like it was just kissing her but it involved a lot of things, things I know I shouldn't be doing with my brothers woman, she leaned forward, trying to close the distance between us again, I turned my face slightly from her and stopped her.
"No." Her eyes widened.
"No?" I saw pain flash in her eyes, but I shook my head.
"Elena, stop. Just tell me what happened to you." She stared at me as though I had just broken her heart.
"Why do you keep doing this?"
"Doing what?"
"Running from me."
"Elena," I called in frustration pushing my fingers into my hair. "I'm not running from you."
"Yes, you are." Her voice cracked. "You always run." I slowly lowered my hands from her shoulders.
"I'm standing right here."
"But you are not letting me have you." The words hit me hard. I shook my head, looking away. I didn't want to look at those lovely eyes of hers; one more look and I would give in.
"That is not what this is all about."
"Then what is it all about?" I didn't answer immediately because the truth was complicated, I wanted her, God know, I wanted her more than I had ever wanted anything, but wanting her wasn't the same as taking advantage of the moment when she wasn't completely herself, or perhaps even if she was herself I would still not kiss her, she is my brothers woman, as it is, we had crossed so many lines.
"Elena, look at me." She reluctantly raised her eyes. "You have been drinking.'
"I know but I am not drunk."
"You are," she pushed my shoulder aggressively.
"Stop telling me what I am and what I am not." I shut my eyes.
"C'mon, you and I know what I am saying is the truth, so I need you to relax and tell me what is happening." I waited for her words, but what came out of her lips shocked me.
"You know you are very handsome." My eyes snapped open, looking at her in surprise. "Why don't you want me? Is it because I am not as hot as those girls?" She burped, staggering a little backward,
"Elena," I called, reaching for her hand.
"Oops," she said, rubbing her bum that just hit her drawer, I swallowed hard. "I guess Gianna is hotter than me." I shook my head, ruffling my hair
"You know that is not true."
"Then what did you say?" I swallowed hard again. I didn't know how many times I did that, but the truth is, every time Elena's voice reached my ear, it felt like an invisible lump formed in my throat.
"Fine, I want you." Her eyes widened, not like this was the first time. I admitted I wanted her. "I want you more than I should." I took a slow breath. "But I don't want your first time to be when you are drunk." She stared at me, then a slow smile formed on her lips.
"So you will fuck me if I am sober?"
"What?" I shook my head. "No," I said faster, taking a step backwards. She huff.
"Fine, I know you would." She turned back to the alcohol.
"Elena, what the hell are you doing?" I carefully closed the distance between us. She didn't answer; she just poured some wine into the glass. "Fine, if you wake up tomorrow and still want this, then..." I paused, her eyes glistening.
"You think I don't know what I am doing?"
"I didn't say so." She looked away. "I just don’t want you to make decisions you will regret."
"Stop with the preaching; I know what I'm doing." I ran my hand to my temple; this was a bad idea, coming to her.
"Then kiss me." I closed my eyes for a moment. I knew I was going nowhere with this conversation. When I opened my eyes, she was smiling, grabbing the wine and walking back toward me. "Nikolai."
"Elena, please." Her face turned sour when I took a step backwards; I felt like a child running away from fire.
"Please," her voice softened, "don't run away from me." My chest tightened.
"I am not running away."
"Then why don't you want to kiss me?"
"Elena," her name left my lips with frustration.
She laughed. "Am I making you feel uncomfortable?" she asked. I shook my head, then she stretched the glass to me. I looked at her; she tilted her head toward the glass. "Fine, drink with me if you won't kiss me." I shook my head. This isn't happening. I can't possibly drink with Elena; there is no way. I am drinking under the Moretti Manor; her brows furrowed. "You will say no to that as well." My eyes snapped to her. "You don't want to do this too."