Chapter 58 Chapter 058
Nikolai’s POV
“Elena." The name left my lips before I could stop it. For a second, I thought I had imagined it, but then her voice came up again, softer and more familiar, and it sounded so nice; my heart started racing so fast, like it was about to burst out of my chest.
"Hello!" She whispered, her voice barely above a whisper.
"Elena?" I repeated, quieter this time. Pulling the phone slightly away from my ear, staring at the number again as if it might suddenly change into something that made sense, but no, it didn't, "whose number is this?" I asked.
There was no hesitation on her end, "It's Shannon's." Of course, it has to be Shannon's. "I figured you aren't taking my calls," she continues quickly, "then Shannon suggested that I should use hers, that if you weren't busy, you would pick hers since you had no idea the number belongs to her."
"Fuck!" I heard someone curse in the background, "Elena, must you tell him?" It was Shannon trying to stop Elena from spilling the beans, but it was too late because I know who the number belongs to. A low laugh escaped me before I could hold it back.
"I thought as much," I said shaking my head slightly, "this sounds like what Shannon will do."
"Yes, it was," Elena admitted without shame, and I heard Shannon's frustrated sigh.
"Why didn't you just use your own phone?" I asked, as if I had no idea, while she was using Shannon's. My not taking her calls and taking Shannon's was enough to show that I was avoiding her.
"It's simple, you haven't been picking up my calls, I have called more than a thousand times, and I know you saw all of them, but not even once did you reply." I could feel her frustration in her voice. I had hurt her feelings these days. I didn't take her calls. I leaned back in my chair, exhaling slowly.
"I would have, but I was busy."
"No, you wouldn't"
I rubbed my forehead, "I swear on my life," I said, my voice lower now, more serious, and it was the truth. I knew at one point I would give in because my heart wouldn't stop thinking about her. Her lips, her body, her laughter, her smile, her face, were all in my head, "I would have picked."
Across the room, Matteo choked, actually choked. I ignored him. There was Silence on the other end, then she spoke again, "You are lying."
"I'm not."
"You are."
"I told you, I'm not." I insisted
"Then why didn't you answer before now?" I didn't have an answer for that, or maybe I did, but it wasn't one I was willing to say out loud, the truth sat heavy in my chest because I was avoiding you, because if I don't, this wouldn't turned out well, and if ever I start taking her calls, I will keep longing to hear her voice and I will become possessive. And that is dangerous. I kept quiet for a second, "It's okay!" She said softly, and ended the call without another word, I stared at my phone, feeling empty all of a sudden. Matteo opened his mouth to speak, but my screen lit up with an incoming call. This time, it was Elena using her phone. I thought she had ended the call in anger, but she wanted to see if I would take her calls as I claimed.
I hissed under my breath, "Pick it," Matteo urged immediately.
I shot him a glare, "I will"
"You are better."
I glared at him and then answered the call before the first ringing could end, "Hi!"
"I'm glad you picked, at the first rung because I wasn't going to call the second time." Her voice came through clearer this time, closer like she was right in front of me, "I thought you were mad at me," she added. Something in my chest tightened, and her previous words had hurt. She said she wasn't going to call again if I didn't take the first call.
"I'm not mad at you," I said
"Then why are you ignoring me?"
"I'm not ignoring you."
"You are." She insisted.
"I've just been busy." The excuse sounded weak even to my own ears.
There was a pause, then she asked quietly, "Why are you avoiding me?"
I clenched my jaw, running my hands on my temple. This was exhausting. As much as I don't want to hurt Elena's feelings, I didn't want to get into Rafael's business. And Elena was Rafael's business. "I'm not avoiding you."
"You are," she insisted, "or did I imagine all the missed calls and unread messages?"
Matteo snorted loudly in the background. I shot him a deadly glare. He raised both hands in surrender, still grinning. "Elena," I said, lowering my voice, "what do you want?"
Matteo's eyes bulged, shock was written all over his face, his expression was enough to show that I just committed a blunder, I shouldn't have asked her that. There was a shift in her tone, something softer, but I could feel the hurt in her voice even when she was trying to sound firm, "I thought we were friends." The word hit harder than it should have. Friends? That is not what this is about, that is not what it felt like when I kissed her. I wanted more, but I know I shouldn't be thinking about that. "That is the reason I kept calling," she continues, "but I guess I was wrong."
"You weren't..."
She cut me off, "or is it because you think I'm a brat?" She added quickly
"What?" I snapped, my voice came out sharper than I intended, "I don't think that,"
"Then stop sounding like I'm bothering you."
"I'm not."
"You are."
"I'm not," I repeated my frustrations rising.
"Then why do you sound like that?" She demanded, I didn't answer, I didn't want to tell her that being Rafael's woman makes her off limits for me, makes even making friends with her bad and I don't even trust myself around her. And if I let this thing she calls friendship continue, it won't end well for either of us. "Go on!" She urged me when I didn't answer.
"You are Rafael's woman, not just any woman but his fiancée." She forced the words out of my lips, but I think that is the one thing I knew would put distance between us, "and I don't..."
"I'm sorry." Her voice cut through mine before I could finish. It was quiet, but sounded like loud music, "I didn't mean to bother you."
"Elena..."
She didn't let me finish, "I won't call again." The words landed like a punch to my chest, then without another word, the line went dead. I stared at the phone in my hand. The call screen faded, silence filled the room, Matteo didn't say a word for once, he just stared at me, while I sat there, staring at nothing, feeling something unfamiliar settle in my chest. Regrets filled my lungs, and I felt empty. I felt like I was heartbroken.
"Since when did you become a coward?" Matteo asked, and I didn't argue because, for once, he was right. I leaned back in my chair, dragging a hand over my face, while my fingers hovered over my phone. I had done exactly what I was trying to do, push her away, create distance between us, and forget about her. I reminded her and myself of the reality between us. There is Rafael, my brother and there is her father, Moretti, the man doesn't like me. I thought reminding her of everything that stood in the way would make it easy. But why did it feel like I had just made the biggest mistake of my life? My phone sat in my hand, silent now. No calls, no more messages, just emptiness. I started at her name on the screen, and for the first time since I met her, I felt something close to panic, because I knew that tone in her voice, she wouldn't call again, and the worst part is, I had no one to blame but myself, and without thinking, I press the send button and place a call to her.
"Pick up your call, Elena," I said in frustration, and just then, my office door pulled open.