Chapter 188

**Lucinda's pov**

Darkness surrounded me, holding me within its grasp, the last thing I remembered was pain, sharp and unrelenting, and then nothing. Nothing but a black hole where the world used to be. I vaguely realise that I am dead, the man who kidnapped my dauter killed me in exchange for her freedom, he named his price and i would do it again, in a single heart beat. I'd give up the world so my daughter could walk free, she is my first born, my only girl. She means the world to me.

if only I could have been there to see her happy ending, and perhaps even make one for myself.

I longed for Dieter to notice me again, to me see me as the woman he fell in love with, but that hope had died some years ago, he doesn't love me any longer, he hasn't for a while.

My reality was crumbling, my death meant nothing to him, I just know it. He may perhaps even be relived to be rid of me. I was always a burden to him after what happened to me. I never quite got over the loss of a child that didn't even belong to him. Maybe that is what sent him over the edge, my refusal to give him anymore children.

i had suffered enough, i just wanted a few years of peace, without having to go through the pain that only a mother knows.

was that really too much to ask of him? Dieter has always had a stubborn mind, even in the early days of our life together, I should have known he'd take my refusal personally.

light pushes through the dark, a familiar face coming into the light, I bow as low as I can go, showing my upmost respect, "Dragon mother, have you come to take me to my home amongst the stars?"

she shakes her head, "No dearest Lucinda, it is not your time yet."

I frown, standing back up to my full height, "I died, I felt it."

She nods, her voice as smooth as the softest of silks, "You did die, I have given you a taste of death, but now is not your time, you should not be here."

"Yes I should!" I explode, letting all my emotion come forward, "There is nothing for me back there! Nothing!" I pant, attempting to soften my voice, "I gave myself freely, I was ready to die."

the dragon mother smiles sadly, "You are in great pain, but that does not mean that you should give up on life, dear daughter you have lost so much, but you have a family, people who care about you, do you really wish to never see them again?"

Pain tore at my chest, of course I wanted to see them again, but I didn't want to live any longer. I'd had enough of life and the pain it brings.

I'm not sure they'd even welcome me back after the stunt I pulled, Dieter would lock me away again. Never to see the stars.

I have lost so much, experienced pain that no one should have to endure, and still, I continued. But I'd had enough now, I just wanted to rest. I wanted to fly amongst the stars with all the great dragons who came before me.

"I hear your thoughts dear daughter, you are conflicted." She comes closer, her warmth enveloping me like a comforting embrace, "It is ok to be scared, it is ok to be unsure of what you want, but you have much to live for, your sons, your daughter, even your husband who mourns your loss heavily."

I scoff, finding it hard to believe that Dieter feels anything but relief because of my death.

He has shunned me for years, my death would be a welcome release for him.

"You are wrong." Says the mother, "He feels pain like a fire bubbling his skin, you were the only

woman he has ever loved."

My heart thuds erratically in my chest, could she be speaking the truth? Did he truly miss my body?

"I cannot send you back, Daughter." She sighs, wind washing over my skin, "But there is someone who can, should your soul want to inhabit your body once more."

"you mean I have a choice?" I ask, wondering if I had the strength to refuse.

I loved my children dearly, I loved Dieter. But could I go back to live and fight another day?

"You have always had a choice." She says cryptically, "But choose carefully, once you have made a choice you cannot change it."

*I have to go back.*

the though struck me like a slap to the face, and I knew I'd be unable to refuse, I have to go back, I have to make sure that my family is ok. They need me still.

I sigh, rubbing a hand down my face, "I'll go back, I'll live again." I take a step closer to her, "But promise me that when this is all over I will still have a place with you amongst the stars."

The Dragon mother smiled, the sight warming my blood, "You will always have a place amongst the stars and by my side, and when the time is right, I will come for you with open arms."

My body jolts, my eyes widening as I tremble and shake, dropping my my knees, "What is happening?" I cry, pain shooting through my stomach.

"You are being dragged back to your body." She says as though it was no big deal, "The pain will be horrendous, but I know you are strong enough to fight through it."

I scream, falling backwards, but I never hit the ground, and suddenly, the dragon mother is gone, a grey sky above me, clouds coming together to form a storm. What happened?

I turn my head, Dieter knelt beside me, my hand in his, "Take a deep breath, my love, the pain will settle in a moment." His voice is like a breath of fresh air, I didn't realise how much I would miss it until it was gone.

"Cay." I croak, my throat dryer than a desert, "where is my daughter?"

Dieter helps me to sit up, turning me towards my beautiful girl, her eyes red with tears that had already been shed.

"I'm here mother." She cries with a smile on her face, "I'm right here."

I look around noticing that the army had gone, but its leader lay dead a few feet away from me. It seems as though we had won. Though I am unsure how.

I turn to Dieter, leaning into his embrace, it feels good to be in his arms again. Like Coming home after a long journey.

"I'm sorry my love." Dieter begins, his voice softer than I have ever heard it before, "I took you for granted, and I pushed you away." He leans his head on mine, "never again will I force my heart not to love you."

"You are the air in my lungs and the beating of my heart." I say, my voice harsh and grating.

"and you are the reason for my soul." He replies, kissing the top of my head.

The great Dragon Mother was right, it was not my time.

Never again will I take this life for granted.

I turn to my daughter who is smiling through her tears of joy, "tell me everything." I say, "tell me what I missed."