Chapter 174
Chapter 174
Alex
Alex’s gut was churning as he leaned down and gave Wendi a small kiss to the forehead. He allowed her to settle next to his brother before he walked to the small raised platform that had been built in the green space in front of the Pack house. It had a single podium from which Alex was expected to say a few words in honor of not just his father, but for all five of the wolves that would be sent back to the goddess.
He was feeling a bit more secure in his and Leo’s decision to send the Silvermoon dead back to the Pack so that they could be mourned properly, now that he had met the future Alpha. How they handled the death of their enemies was one of the things that Alex felt set Blackrock apart as more honorable than other Packs. It was this same commitment to dignity that helped the Twins decide that the rogues would be cremated privately and their ashes would be scattered between the borders of several of the Pack territories.
Reigning in his emotions was difficult, as he began to speak the traditional words that had been proceeding memorial services in Blackrock for over one hundred years. He was glad that it had not been necessary for him to write a custom speech. He just didn’t have the heart to describe the depth of the pain in his heart at the loss of not just his father, but also his Pack members. He didn’t feel that words could ever describe the guilt and responsibility that he and Leo felt about the attack. How did one describe gnawing feeling of pure unadulterated blackness.
He read the words before him, without any real comprehension of what he was saying. His voice was loud and clear, but his mind was far away. After Alex had delivered his speech, he dutifully read the obituaries for each of the wolves that were being remembered. Again the words on the page felt flat, as if they could never capture the spirit of which his people had been.
As the minutes on the clock seemed to continue to grind to a haul, Alex concluded his assigned part of the service and gladly turned the stage over to his twin. He absently shook his brother’s hand as he stepped from down the raised platform and returned to Wendi’s side. He knew that Leo had planned to deliver a more personal address about the contributions that each of the wolves had made toward the Pack.
When he reached his seat, Wendi immediately reached out and placed her hand in his. He knew it was her quiet way of lending him her peace and strength. Alex appreciated her simple gesture more than she would ever understand. Wendi was his rock and she was keeping both he and Leo grounded.
Alex found his mind was still wandering as Leo made his speech to both the wolves and the visiting dignitaries. He knew that his brother had the situation handled and for the first time since the battle, Alex was able to finally let himself grieve. He knew it was important for his fellow Pack members and his family to see the effect that the sad situation had on the leading family. They needed to know that their Alphas cared about their suffering. It gave the entire reservation a sense of solidarity that would eventually allow them to move forward and rebuild.
Alex soon found himself lost in a memory of his childhood and playing chase. He had been no more than seven or eight and in the yard. His father had been chasing after him and young Leo. His ears rang with the echo of the memory of his father’s laughter. He could feel his eyes began to mist when he felt Wendi gently nudge him. He wiped a lone tear from his cheek as he responded to Leo’s call for the family members of the fallen to come forth.
Leah caught his eye as he got to his feet. He noticed that she had a similar posture and expression. He knew that his sister had likely been experiencing a fond memory of Adam as well. He secretly wished that Wendi had the opportunity to know the man that raised him and not the former Alpha version of him that had been so obstinate. Almost as if Leah was reading his mind she reached over and gave his shoulder a soft squeeze. Leah gave him a faint smile. Wendi nodded her head like she was answering a question no one else could hear before she handed Leah a tissue for her tears.
Alex held Wendi’s hand with his left, while he offered his free one to his mother. Sansa took it with a grateful expression. Alpha Jace wrapped his arm around Leah and as a family they joined Leo near the pyre. Leo gave Wendi a quick hug when they approached before releasing her. He took his mother’s other arm. The four other families also gathered around the stack of wood and linen wrapped remains.
Alex kissed the back of Wendi’s hand and dropped it. She gave him a look of compassion before she walked up onto the same stage that the Twins had been speaking from. She slowly lifted up an unlit torch and raised it to the sky. The air around them was so still that a pin drop could have been heard when Wendi began to recite an appropriate prayer she had discovered in one of her Luna history books.
At the end, Wendi lit the torch and handed it ceremoniously to Sansa. His mother began to cry quietly as she laid the flame against the wood. The pyre began to spark and she handed the torch to the widow of one of the fallen warriors. One by one, the families of the fallen each lit a different section of the mass pyre until it was flaming everywhere.
Alex pulled his mother against his chest as she finally began to release her grief. He held her while she sobbed. Out of the corner of his eye he saw that Jace was holding Leah and Wendi was quietly comforting Leo who was trying hard to hold back tears.
“Your father loved, you boys. And he was proud of you. He might not have said it enough, but it’s true.” Sansa whispered.
“I know. I’ve always known. He was a good man, and we will all miss him.” Alex replied.