Epilogue Part 3

River's POV

“Damn, Man, you’re so whipped. Hindi na ako magtataka kapag natakot na si Aviena,” mapang-asar na saad sa akin ni Lake.

Sinundan ko lang ng tingin si Aviena na siyang dire-diretso lang sa pagtungo sa aming room.

“Malusaw ‘yan,” ani Pride na ngayon ko lang ata narinig magsalita ngayong magkakasama kami. Ni hindi ko nga alam kung saan nagsususuot ang kumag dahil bigla-bigla na lang ding nawawala.

“You all should shut up and just fucking drink nang matapos na tayo rito,” inis kong saad sa mga ito. Nagsitawanan naman ang mga kupal samantalang kami nina Demon ay gustong-gusto na ring pumasok sa aming mga villa. This asshole wants to drink more. Sige, magpasira ng atay.

Gusto ko nang pumasok at matulog katabi si Aviena. Can’t you believe it? She’s saying that we don’t even sleep in one bed. So she doesn’t really care if I sleep beside her at all.

Napailing na lang ako roon. Patapos na kami nang tinawag ako ni Ocean.

“Kuya!” natataranta niyang saad kaya pinagkunutan ko siya ng noo.

“Marrisa’s ex is here. He’s begging Marissa to come back again. That fucking asshole,” ani Ocean na naiinis habang hinihila ako patungo kung nasaan sina Marissa.

“Who let him in?” tanong ko.

“He’s famous. The guards thought that he’s invited.” Napailing na lang ako dahil alam ko na rin agad ang kahihinatnan nito. Marissa will just ended up forgiving him.

“Please, I’ll be better, Marissa. Forgive me…” aniya. He’s really here holding a bouquet of flowers. That’s how he always does things. After hurting our friend, babalik ulit na may mabubulaklak na salita at lalambingin ulit si Marissa. That’s how it always ended.

“Get Marissa, I’ll call some guards,” ani Ocean kaya napatango na lang ako bago hinawakan sa palapulsuhan si Marissa at dinala sa hindi mataong lugar. Napailing na lang ako nang makita ang itsura nito. She’s smiling again.

“Maybe he’ll change this time,” she said so I can’t help being annoyed. That asshole will never change.

“How many times did he do that to you? 10 times? More than 10? Sa tingin mo sa sampung beses ka niyang sinaktan, magbabago siya sa pang-labing isang beses?” tanong ko. She knows how people will be doom when they fall but she didn’t know her downfall at all.

She ended up going again with him. I can’t help but to frown when I saw the asshole face, mukhang tanga amputa. Napangiwi na lang ako habang pinagmamasdan silang lumayo. The idiot is with his fucking game again.

Napabuntonghininga na lang akp. I know she’ll end up realizing things and that’s her decision to make. Naiiling na lang ako roon.

I saw Aviena going inside our room kaya hindi ko maiwasan ang mapangiti with the thought that she actually wait for me. I know that my face is so thick to think about that but I just can’t help it.

Nagdadalawang isip pa ako kung hihiga sa higaan naming dalawa. I won’t live with that boundaries anymore. I’ll just make her head over heels to me too until she would like to marry me without thinking about different things.

“What are you doing here?” tanong niya na napataas ang kilay.

“What? I’m going to sleep here?” Fuck. Can I really do this? Can my heart handle it?

“Why? Don’t tell me you want me to sleep away from you when we already married each other 2 times?” I even asked. I don’t even know where did I get the guts to say it.

I thought we are already fine after our talk in Bali but just a few days a months after we came back she was already kissing another boy.

“Is Aviena there?” tanong ko kay Tessy na siyang assistant ni Aviena.

“Oh, Sir River! Nandito po pala kayo. Naroon po siya kasama ni Sir Tom sa malapit na resto mula rito,” ani Tessy sa akin kaya napatango ako.

“Samahan ka na namin,” ani Rose na siyang Ate ni Aviena.

We really did go there. I was about to call Aviena when I saw that Tom and her was talking. Hindi ko mapigilan ang pagkunot ng noo habang nakatingin sa mga ito. Lalapit na sana ako roon nang makita ko kung paanong halikan ni Tom si Aviena. What a fucking asshole.

I was so annoyed na hindi ko na nagawa pang kausapin siya kinagabihan. And the next morning? They are fucking together again.

Wife:

Good morning, Mister! It’s vitamin sea today! May shoot us sa tabi ng dalampasigan hehehe

Wife:

I feel asleep kagabi. Hindi na kita nahintay. I’ll call you when you’re already awake.

I was waiting for her call last night but she never really text or even inform me about it. And fuck myself too dahil hindi ko rin natiis na tawagan ito.

Sa kabila nang inis ko’y hindi ko rin talaga siya magawang baliwalain.

“Good morning, Mister! How’s your sleep? Sobrang dami ba ng meetings mo? You haven’t called.” Damn that soft voice. How can I stay mad when I just heard her voice but it makes me fucking weak.

“Yes.” I was about to say why I didn’t talk to her when I heard Tom’s voice and Aviena isn’t even telling me what happened last night.

“I’ll call you later, River.” Hindi ko mapigilan ang iritasiyon sa sarili dahil sa nararamdamang tampo.

“Don’t bother. I have a lot of things to do,” sambit ko kahit na iba naman ang gustong gawin.

“Oh… okay… I’ll text you…” Damn. Pahingi naman nang kaunting lambing Aviena. Tuluyan na akong napapikit nang mapagtanto na pinatayan na ako nito nang tawag. Iritasiyon na lang din ang bumalot sa akin. They are together again, huh? Did she enjoy his kiss? I hope she didn’t. What a kid. How can someone kiss like that. I can do better. Damn you, Savellano. How childish can you get?

“Sir?” tanong ng isang empleyadong nagpepresent sa conference room.

“Continue,” I said while still looking at my phone. Waiting for Aviena’s text and update Sinamaan ko si Kuya Spring ng tingin nang ihagis niya ang isang botelya ng bote sa akin.

“Tapos na. Are you even listening?” tanong niya na nakangisi sa akin. Napasimangot na lang ako roon. Edi sana kanina niya pa tinapos.

Nailing na lang ako roon. Kahit sa mga business meeting ay madalas lang ang pagtingin-tingin ko sa aking cellphone para lang alamin kung may text ba galing kay Aviena.

“What?” inis kong tinignan si Lake nang sabihing sa bar daw ang meeting para sa isang business partner naming from America.

“Why would I go there? Hindi putso-putso ang negosiyo natin,” malamig kong saad.

“Mr. Montgemory likes the ambiance of bars and of course let’s get Hell Bar have a branch in America,” aniya. Iba na naman ang nasa utak. Hindi ko mapigilan ang mapailing bago napatango na lang. I want to rest already. I want my Aviena already.

“Uuwi ka na, River?” tanong ng isang kakilala nang matapos ang meeting at na-sealed ang deal. I already want to go home. Aviena said that she’ll call me once I come home.

“Atat na atat kang umuwi mula kanina pa, huh?” tanong nila sa akin. Binalingan ko lang sila ng tingin bago dire-diretso nang lumabas. They are not really wrong about that. I want to go home already.

Hindi ko mapigilan ang tingin sa aking phone when I receive a message from Aviena asking if I’m already home. I reply immediately.

I thought she would call now. I tried to take a bath first but she didn’t call at all. I was alrwady working on some papers subalit hindi ko rin maiwasan ang pabalik-balik na tingin sa aking phone dahil hindi na siya tumawag pa. I want to call her but I feel like she’s already resting. Napapikit na lang ako dahil umabot ako hanggang sa mag-umaga sa pag-iisip tungkol sa kaniya.

I thought she was just so busy. Ni hindi niya na ako magawang i-text and I fucking regret giving her cold replies just because I was mad. Now, she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. I can’t help the jealousy that keeps on rushing through me especially when I saw a picture of her and Tom getting so sweet beneath the coconut tree.

Hindi ko maiwasan ang mapasimangot nang muntikan nang kumalat ang tungkol doon. I was so annoyed the whole time. So she likes the kiss? She likes him now?

And fucking fuck. She stay for a week there making me more fucking crazy. I know I don’t have any right to be mad when we don’t really have any relationship at all except for the fact that we’re married by contract now but I hate the fact that she’s spending her day with that asshole. I hate the idea that I barely get her attention but now this is what happened. I want to fucking make her like me even more to the point that both of us won’t be able to forget each other.

And can’t you believe that day fucking happened?

She’s so drunk when I got home. Pride was looking for Veron when he came to the office, hindi raw umuwi nang magtungo sa bahay and that’s it. Veron and Aviena started drinking with each other. Narinig ko pa ang sigawan nila habang papasok. Hindi ko mapigilan ang mapatitig kay Aviena, she look so drunk. And she’s acting so cute again. She can’t really drunk with anyone if she look so good blusing because of alcohol.

Ibinaba ko siya sa kama matapos kong patigilin ito sa pag-inom. Nahinto lang ako nang makita ko ang luha mula sa kaniyang mga mata.

“Why are you crying? Is there something wrong? May masakit ba sa ‘yo? What happened?” I can’t help but be nervous seeing her cry. I hate her seeing me cry the most.

Bahagyang napaawang ang labi ko nang tumayo siya bago ako sinamaan ng tingin.

“Shut up! I hate you! So damn much!” I know. That’s why you wanted me gone in your life. But damn, baby, I don’t think I can do it now…

“Ni hindi mo magawang umuwi at magpakita man lang sa akin?!” Natigilan ako roon. Does she want to see me?

“I thought you said that this is what you want?” Deny it, Baby, please.

“Tangina mo! Sino bang nagsabing ‘yon ang gusto ko?” I can’t help but to looked at her as she said that.

“Then what do you want, Wife?” I can’t believe that my voice can be softer as it is.

“But after saying that… you didn’t even come home… Tangina mo rin talaga… Paasa ka…” She look so soft and fragile thing that you needed to take care of.

“I’m sorry for violating our contract…”

“I hate you but damn, I think I’m slowly falling in love with an asshole like you.” Unti-unti akong nanghina sa narinig. Damn… what did she just say? Does she like me?

“What did you say, Wife?” Did she just really say it? She finally admitted that she likes me… I’m so happy that I could just die right away.

We dated. Every day with her makes me feel like I was in the cloud. Every single day with her makes me fall in love with the real Aviena. Everything about her will just make you want her more.

I know I’m in danger once I’ll enter a life with her. But if it’s really a danger, I would willingly sacrifice my life.

But right… kayang-kaya niya talaga akong dalhin sa pinakatuktok at sampung balik na sakit ang kapilit.

She tried to break up with me because she can’t find her peace anymore. I know how stressful everything it is for her but I still want her here.

“Please… I want a peaceful life… let me go, River… I can’t find my peace with you anymore…”

Of course, how can I fucking be selfish when I’m seeing her cry like that again? How can I be so selfish when she’s begging me like that? I would love to stay with her but I don’t want to burden her even more.

“Fine… Go wherever you want… But you won’t be able to go away from me, Aviena… Your name will forever be tied on mine…” I won’t be kind anymore. And heck, do you think I can still live if I see her dating other boys besides me now?

“I’ll let you go for now but let me tell you one thing… Once you come back, I’ll make sure that you’ll be chained on my bed.”

I would willing to feel the pain again just to have a taste of her love.

Epilogue Part 4

River’s POV

“Aviena na, naging bato pa,” natatawang saad ni Kuya Spring nang makita niya akong abala sa aking phone. Malapad ang kaniyan ngisi habang pinapanood akong pinagmamasdan ang bawat litrato ni Aviena sa ilang brand abroad.

“You bought a lot of magazine again? Anong gagawin mo riyan?” tanong ng pakialamero kong Kuya. I don’t know either. I just like seeing her face.

I just want an update from her. She was enjoying her life in Amsterdam. I told myself that I’ll just let her for now. But once she came back to the Philippines, I won’t ever let her go. Kaya lang, hindi ko rin matiis na hindi ito bisitahin kaya naman pasimpleng nagtutungo sa Amsterdam once a year. Pasimpleng tinitignan lang siya. Just like how I’ve been admiring her in the past. Akala ko’y kontento na ako sa ganoon-ganoon lang but I want to fucking wake up in the morning again to see her. I want to live with her again.

I was busy with some papers when Marissa called. Walang gana ko namang sinagot ang tawag nito dahil wala man lang akong balitang naririnig galing kay Aviena sa ngayon.

“Hey, I have a news to you.” Napakunot ang noo ko nang marinig ang mapaglarong tinig mula sa boses ni Marissa. I know she’s going to say things to me again.

“Hulaan mo who I saw here in Maldives today,” aniya pa kaya agad akong napadiretso nang upo. I know something going on when she say things like this.

“I saw Aviena today. She’s with someone. Looks like she’s really happy right now. Blooming na blooming,” sambit niya pa kaya agad akong nahinto.

“What?” tanong ko na hindi mapigilan ang pagkunot ng noo lalo na’t nakikita ko pa ang ngisi sa mga labi ni Marissa.

I ended up overthinking things kaya naman sinabihan ang sekretarya na ikansela lahat ng meetings na mayroon ako para lang magtungo sa Maldives.

Ni wala na akong tulog dahil sa kaiisip sa pinagsasabi ni Marissa. Yes, I gave her peace but that doesn’t mean I’ll just let her live with someone else. I won’t even let any other guy close to her if that’s the case. Kung kinakailangan ko pang buhatin siya pasakay ng chopper para lang umuwi siya ng pilipinas ay gagawin ko.

“It’s fine, I’ll just stay here,” ani ko when I saw Aviena painting something on her canvas. I tried to look at Aviena but she immediately saw me. Bakas pa ang mukha ang pagkakataranta. I can’t help but to furrowed my forehead as I look at her right now. What’s with her? Is she really have another guy right now?

Hindi ko mapigilan pa ang lumapit nang makitamg may lalaking nagtungo sa gawi niya. Hindi ko rin mapigilan ang talim ng mga mata ko habang nakatingin kay Aviena.

“When will you come home, Wife?” Wala pa atang ilang segundo’y nakaalis na ito. I can’t help but to be annoyed lalo na nang hindi ko na siya nakita pa kinabukasan. I was irritated by the thought that she really have someone now.

I came back to the Philippines but when I heard that some brand here in the Philippines will be working in the animation company, I immediately brought it. That’s an opportunity to work with her and their work is good too. I really like their ways of working in their animations.

My secretary came with me to Amsterdam. I can’t help but look around when I entered their company. Should I buy it? I can make the atmosphere much better? Or should I just donate more money? I already invested. Maybe I should also donate some furniture here. Mukhang kulang pa ang ilan.

I can’t help but to raise my eyebrow when I saw Aviena talking with some dutch dude. Isang malamig na tingin ang ibinigay ko sa kanila. What is this? Is he the one she’s dating right now? Hindi ko maiwasan ang mapataas ang kilay habang nakatingin sa mga ito.

But looks like a lot of boys are really around her. Damn it. Sana pala’y hindi ko na lang din pinakawalan noon.

Hindi ko mapigilan ang sariling sumama ang loob habang nakikita siyang kausap ngayon si Tom, that asshat ex love team of hers. Nakikita ko pa lang ang mukha niyon ay naalibadbaran na ako.

“No need. Kami na lang ang bibisita sa inyo sa Pilipinas,” she said while smiling from ears to ears to that motherfucker friend of her.

“Wait, what? Are you coming back?” Wait. What did I just hear?

“Yup, I’m also coming back to the Philippines,” she said while smiling with the asshat. So she’ll come back dahil lang sa gagong ‘yon? Are they really in a relationship? I hope not.

“See you, Tom! I miss you too!” Halos hindi ko na marinig ang pinagsasabi nila dahil sa iritasiyon ko.

“So it’s Tom, your boy toy.” Damn it. Why would she date him? She already has me.

“You’re coming back to the Philippines because of that asshat?” tanong ko habang may iritasiyon sa tinig.

“Then I’ll just give hell to the both of you once you come back,” malamig kong saad sa kaniya bago siya tinalikuran. Pero sa huli’y hindi rin ito natiis.

“Eat your lunch.” Damn it. Why does she affect me this much?

I get ready for her to come back. I’m fucking serious about what I said. I was even getting ready to give hell to his boy toy.

“Do that and Aviena will probably just dump you,” nakangising saad ni Ocean nang marinig ang tungkol sa pag-uutos ko sa aking sekretarya na sirain ang career ni Tom.

“That guy is an important person to Aviena. I’ll tell it to her. Baka hindi ka lang mahirapang kunin ulit ang loob niyq, baka hindi ka na talaga balikan,” natatawa pang pang-aasar ni Ocean. Hindi naman lingid sa kaalaman ko na madalas magtungo si Ocean sa bahay ni Aviena. And I like it that way, kahit paano’y nakakabalita ako kung anong ganap nito. Nababalitaan ko ang mga racket at trabaho ni Aviena sa kaniya.

Well, she was the one who likes to gossip as well. Hindi ko nga alam kung paano sila nagkasundo ni Aviena when in fact she just go to Amsterdam to say sorry on what they said.

They inform me of what they said on Aviena before she go to Amsterdam, na-guilty sa biglaan naming paghihiwalay. I can’t help but be annoyed with them kaya walang choice si Ocean but to do that. Mama doesn’t want to do it. It’s hurting her pride she said. I understand where she is coming from. I know how much she cares about me but I just hate the fact that I feel like she doesn’t trust me as her son. Well, she should because I might have lost myself because of Aviena but they still shouldn’t have done that. Aviena was a very important person to me too just like them.

We talk about it. She said sorry but not with Aviena. I felt bad for my wife. Maybe that’s the reason why she can’t find her peace with me. Everyone hates her when the fact is she tried her best not to show her flaws. She’s so pure for the world so how can they dislike her?

I already thought about everything when she came back. I’ll make her fall in love with me again to the point that she won’t be able to even like someone else. I’ll make sure that she won’t be able to live in another country without me again.

“Mukhang hindi na tuloy ang paninirahan mo sa Amsterdam, huh?” tanong ni Pride sa akin when he saw me getting ready to pick Aviena in the airport. Napailing na lang ako sa mapang-asar na ngisi niya.

Well, I thought of living in Amsterdam kung wala pa talaga siyang balak umuwi. I can just stay there too kung doon na ang buhay na gusto niya. I wouldn’t mind at all.

But every plan I have—A, B, C, D, E, or even more letters—easily gets ruined when I saw a little Aviena in front of me.

“Mama.” A soft voice came from the little girl while trying to hide from her mother’s back. She’s my daughter. Alam ko. Alam na alam ko. Damn….

How? How can this happen? She is my daughter. How did Aviena manage to hide her from me? Damn. Hindi ko na sana siya hinayaang umalis noon.

“She’s my daughter… Heck… I have a child…” l can’t even believe it. Damn. We really have a daughter.

“River, this is Camillia… Our daughter…” Narinig kong saad ni Aviena. I know. I know that damn well… Ako lang naman talaga.

“Good morning, Mr. River Savellano, I’m Fluvius Camillia Savellano, I’m 4 years old this June 16. I enjoy water activities like you… I’m a gold medalist… and good in math… I hope you can like me…” Fluvius Camillia Savellano. And she’s a Savellano.

Hindi ko mapigilan ang kirot na nararamdaman sa ideyang hindi ko man lang nakitang lumaki ito. Wala man lang ako noong mga panahong naghihirap si Aviena habang pinanganganak ito. I was so mad that I don’t even know what to do but how can my annoyance stay when I see that innocent face of my wife. How can my madness remain the same when she’s not even doing anything but I already forgive her. I can’t just really stay mad at her.

Lalong-lalo na nang nalaman na their life was threaten by her sister. How can that fucking happen when I’m fucking away from her. Hindi ko mapigilan ang inis sa sarili na wala ako nang mga panahong ‘yon para protektahan silang mag-iina ko.

But now, I’ll do that. I’ll promise myself that it won’t happen again. To Camillia, to her, and to our unborn child.

“Love, anong ginagawa mo? ‘Yong mga gamit ni Baby,” mahinahon niyang saad subalit namamalipit na sa sakit habang pasakay kami ng kotse.

Hindi ko naman mapigilan ang mataranta at halos kunin na lahat ng gamit sa bahay.

“Ano? Dadalhin mo lahat ‘yan?” tanong ni Aviena habang nahihirapan na. Hindi ko naman na magawa pang magsalita dahil nakikita ko ‘tong napapapikit sa sakit na kaniyang nararamdaman.

“Wife, do you want just to call them here?” tanong ko dahil hindi ako mapakali habang tinitignan ko siya.

“Shut up, River. Let’s just go. Dalian mo at mamaya’y manganak pa ako sa kalsada,” mahinahon niyang saad habang nakapikit na. Mas lalo naman akong nataranta roon at hindi alam kung saan ako uupo sa sasakyan.

“Ano ba, River? Nahihilo lang ako sa ‘yo,” inis na niyang saad.

“Dito ka,” tawag niya pa. Hindi ko rin alam kung anong gagawin ko kaya naman hinawakan ko lang ang kamay niya.

Habag nasa byahe’y napapaire na rin siya sa sobrang sakit nang nararamdaman.

Nawalan na rin siya ng malay matapos niyang ipanganak ang bunso namin. Isang palatak na iyak ng batang lalaki ang narinig mula sa loob. Hindi ko mapigilan ang ngiti sa aking mga labi nang mapagmasdan ang bata. Unti-unti lang akong napangiti bago ito hinalikan sa noo.

I just watch them both, sakto ring dumating sa Camillia. Pareho kaming nakangiti habang pinagmamasdan ang Mama niya at ang bunsong kapatid.

“He’s so tiny, Papa. He won’t break if we ever touch him?” tanong ni Camillia kaya napatawa ako nang mahina.

“He won’t but you need extra care once you touch him,” I said kaya sunod-sunod ang pagtango niya. Ginulo ko na lang ang buhok nito.

Ilang oras din naming hinintay bago tuluyang magising si Aviena. Mayamaya lang ay iniabot na rin sa kaniya ang bunso namin.

We named him Fluvius Iver Savellano. I like it. I like both Camillia and Iver’s names.

“You didn’t sleep yet?” tanong ni Aviena sa akin. Ngumiti lang ako roon. I don’t want to. I want to take care of them both in case she wakes up or Iver will.

“Thank you…” mahinang saad niya sa akin bago ako. Nailing na lang ako roon. Why is she saying thank you to me when I should be the one saying that? It’s very hard for her. Not just a one day but really hard for months.

“I love you… Thank you for giving birth to our son and daughter, Wife,” bulong ko na hinalikan siya sa labi.

“Kiss din kami, Mama, Papa!” sabi ni Camillia kaya natatawa na lang namin silang hinalikan ni Iver.

Napangiti na lang ako nang excited na hawakan ni Camillia ang pisngi ni Iver. Natawa na lang din nang mahina si Aviena roon.

I can’t help but look at the three of them… My home…