Chapter 62 Lost in thought
DASHIELL
I couldn't keep the smiles off my face. Reasoning back to how well I communicated with Nova during the meeting made me proud of myself. Standing up for the idea when others thought it wasn't the best made me feel so happy. I wanted to scream it out to the world, but I couldn't. No one, aside from me, would know how much this meant to me.
Sighing, I tapped my index finger on my desk, reflecting on the smile on her face. It was the first time she had genuinely smiled at me since she returned. The smile wasn't as forced as the ones I was used to. She was genuinely happy, making me feel accomplished for causing such an expression on her face. I have never been this happy before, not even when my father signed off the company to me after I completed my studies.
Having her smile was an accomplishment. It showed I was getting close to my plans, to get her to change her attitude towards me. It doesn't seem like it would be a simple thing to pull off, but I'm determined to do whatever it takes to make her realize I am a changed man. I wasn't the same as the Dashiell of those years ago, a man who didn't think about her and was only concerned about me. Back then, I never paid attention to anyone.
I only cared about myself and thought I was doing the right thing by hurting a woman who stood by me despite how harsh I was to her. She never asked for anything in return, not even for a part of the property. The only request she made those years ago was for me to give her a little of my time, but I never did that.
"Sir." A knock on the door interrupted me. Sighing, I glanced up as my secretary walked into my office. "Good evening, sir. You have a business dinner with Miss Katrina from the textile company. Are you still going to it or do I need to cancel it?"
"No, don't do that." I got up from my desk, grateful I had something to take my mind off Nova. Thinking of her this way was disastrous. I would only end up doing something she might not appreciate. "Okay, I will let her know about it." Smiling, she walked over, closing the door behind her.
With her gone, I sat down in my chair and opened my drawer. I got out a picture I had kept all these years and stared into the smiling face of my wife. Yeah, I kept her pictures. This one was the one she took on our wedding. I thought her smile looked beautiful, which was why I took it to work, even though I never brought it out. No one aside from me knew I placed it in my drawer, not even Lilith. I had it framed a week ago to hide the tears on the side. Having looked at it almost every day for five years, the picture wasn't as good as it was when I bought it.
"Nova," I whispered, rubbing my thumb on her face as my lips spread in a smile. I placed the framed picture on my desk and closed my eyes, thinking back to all those mistakes I made, and how to sort them out. If only I could return to five years ago, I would have made things right.
The company just wanted to have a date with me without outrightly asking for one. I had to get out of there to avoid embarrassing her and me. The last thing I wanted was to have such distractions.
I climbed the pedestrian overpass, looking at the cars below. Sighing, I leaned on the railway, my gaze going up at the starless sky. The dark sky was a replica of my soul at the moment, black, seeking light. Nova was the light, one I kept on coveting despite the distance between us. Stopping was the only solution, but I was in no way going to do that. I will patiently crave the light, while hoping she would stop to look back, to reach out to me and take my hand in hers.
I heard sniffing and turned. A woman sat, with her head between her thighs, and her gaze on the floor.
At first, I wanted to ignore her, to concentrate on my train of thought and pretend I didn't see her. Not everyone would be happy to know others saw them in such a low state.
I turned, keeping my back to her as I tried not to think of who she was or why she was crying. It was of no concern to me.
Her whimpers turned into a full-blown wailing after a minute, interrupting my thoughts. Frowning, I turned to confront her, only for my eyes to widen when I saw who it was. She no longer had her gaze down. Instead, she was staring straight ahead.
Though I had only met her a few times, I could tell she was the one from her unique skin colour. Not only that, the red dress she was putting on was the one she wore during the meeting. There is no way I could have mistaken her even if I wanted to do that.
"Benita?" I frowned, walking over to her. "What's wrong? Why are you here? What are you doing?"
She looked at me, her gaze confused. "Mr Dashiell? Are you the one?"
"What are you doing here? Why were you crying? What happened?" I closed the distance between us and knelt in front of her. "Are you alright?" I placed my hand on her back, patting it lightly. "It's nothing." Smiling, she sniffed, wiping the tears off her face. "I was just thinking of something."