Chapter 54--After

It's been years since I have seen my parents.

My mother looks leaner than the last time I saw her, her eyes hollow and lips pale. She doesn't look well.

I bite down on my bottom lip, trying to decide what to do. Let her in or speak to her from the door. We didn't exactly part on the best terms, and she had made it very clear that she wanted nothing to do with me.

Her hazel eyes drop to my belly and a sad smile teases her lips. "You didn't tell me."

I shrug, hand dropping instinctively to my stomach, and she notes the ring on my finger with a slight arch to her brow. "You didn't care about the first. I didn't think you would care about the second."

Mother laughs. "You've never been one to forgive easily, Amber." Her eyes leave mine and she peers into the house. "I didn't get an invite?"

I frown. Why is she being nice? Why is she trying to talk to me? What is she even doing here?

Is she alright?

"Amber? Who's there?!" I hear Ryan call out and my mom leans back, eager to hear what I might say.

"Delivery!" I yell back, and she chuckles.

"You've always been a nasty one," she says, toying with the washed out necklace on her chest.

"Why are you here?"

Her smile falters and her gaze turns solemn. "I've been...looking for you. I wanted to apologize."

My brows quirk up. My mother is apologizing? How surreal. "For what exactly? Throwing me out or abandoning me when I needed you the most? Or was it the insults and the hits for absolutely no reason?"

She shifts uncomfortably as my tone rises higher. "I was wrong, and I've been trying to rectify it. I asked your friend...Julia?"

I scoff. "July. You would know that if you ever even cared to know anything about me." I know I am being petty, and mean, but my memories with this woman in front of me have mostly been terrible. Never in all my years would I have thought she would show up here.

"She wouldn't tell me where you were. I found out on the internet about your wedding, and it took sometime to find your private apartment with your husband." She pauses. "I'm not here to seek your sympathy. I was wrong. We were wrong, and I have come to apologize to you, and let you know that whenever you're ready, I'd like to...walk things through with you. We could start over."

Fingers snake around my waist, and I lean back into Ryan's touch as he suddenly appears behind me. "What's taking so lon—Oh."

I suddenly feel hot. "Ryan, this is—"

"Mrs Jean," he exclaims, extending a hand forward for her to take. She grabs it, shaking him firmly and formally. "I have heard so much about you."

Mother scoffs. "No, you haven't. You are quite the gentleman."

Ryan turns red and smiles sheepishly. "Why don't you come in?"

Mother's gaze darts to mine and she laughs. "I'm not sure Amber would like that."

No. I won't. It'd just make everything awkward.

To Ryan, she says, "It was nice meeting you. Take care of her."

I resist the urge to roll my eyes as she walks off the porch, hands in her pocket.

"You should have told her to stay," Ryan says, blue eyes twinkling. "It's Thanksgiving. You can put it all behind."

I sigh, leaning in as he cups my cheeks. "I know. It's just...it felt like I didn't even know her. Like I was looking at a stranger. Inviting her in would have made the differences far more noticeable--and you know how your parents can get sometimes."

Ryan leads me back to the dining area where the sounds of laughter fills the air. I smile as I look over the table, at Ash sitting on Jasper's lap, rubbing his stained hands on his white, crisp shirt. Jasper seems to be more interested in the food than the mess Ash is making on him.

A small mercy, I suppose.

Ryan's mother and father are arguing over what they will name the child in my belly, and the names they come up with are so creative, Ryan and I choke on our laughter.

As I start to sit, bile rises to my throat and I slap a hand over my mouth as I flee from the table, waves of nausea crashing into me.

I hear the worried shouts of my family behind me, and Ryan's footsteps as he rushes after me.

I puke into the sink the moment I reach the bathroom of our master bedroom, and I feel Ryan's hand softly pat my back as he whispers softly, soothing me, even as I heave over and over again, until there is nothing left in me to give.

I lean against the cool wall, breathing heavily. "This is embarrassing."

Ryan smiles and walks around me, tugging down the zipper of my dress. "And I suppose that's my fault?"

I scowl, pushing my hair aside. "Yes. It is. And now, for the next few months, I'll look fat. And ugly. And the tabloids will call me that. And every other woman will think she has a chance now because I'm round and big."

Ryan chortles as he pulls the dress off my body, slowly, and heat jolts through me, going straight to my core. "You could never look ugly, Red. Month from now, when you are heavy, you'd still be the most beautiful woman I've ever met."

"I don't know that," I retort, but I'm blushing hard. Cool breeze teases my skin and my nipples stand firmly and painfully in my bra.

"I must not have done a good enough job of convincing you this morning," Ryan whispers, pressing a hot kiss against neck as he takes of my bra, and my lacy thong. My knees buckle and a sigh escapes me.

"Allow me to show you then," he says, tugging me toward the bath tub.

What else could a woman possibly ask for?