Chapter 34--LA

AMBER

I run my fingers along the spines of the books sitting in the dusty shelves, feeling the ridges and grooves beneath my fingertips.

I am in the not so large library, hiding from Ryan and his work colleagues. He didn't tell me to--frankly he hasn't even spoken to me since he got back from work earlier than usual, looking angry as hell. This one isn't directed at me, I know, but it didn't stop a painful pang from growing in my chest when I had asked him what was wrong and he'd slammed the door to him room in my face.

But what can I do? I had this coming from the beginning.

I let out an small sigh as I take a random book off the shelf and begin to flip through the pages. Dust emits from each page, the particles finding its way into my nostrils.

I sneeze, my nose tingling as more dust seeps into it.

“You shouldn’t touch those books. The library hasn’t been used in years,” I hear a familiar baritone voice rippling through the air.

I flinch, my head snapping back to the direction of the voice. I see Ryan standing at the door, arms crossed as he leaned on the side of the door. My eyes involuntary wandered to his arms, which ripples and bulges, daring to tear through the thin fabric of the tight t-shirt he is wearing.

For a moment I am disoriented, but I quickly regain my composure. I slip the book back into it’s place and my eyes fall on Ryan again. “No wonder the books are so dusty. I thought the apartment was new,” I say, my voice as low as a whisper.

This is the first time Ryan has said a word to me. It comes as a surprise, but it makes me happy. Has he finally forgiven me?

I hear his heavy footsteps on the floorboards as he walks to me and I swallow, heart racing. Ryan stand beside me, his eyes on the books lined up along each shelf. It takes me a few minutes to register the distance between us. I get a whiff of his colonge and the smell brings back memories, memories of our first night together.

The air is thick between us as we stand, inches away from each other. Ryan reaches for a book in the shelf, and as he raises his arm, it brushes against mine. A jolt of electricity flows through my skin from the touch and it is enough to make me quiver.

I clench my fist, unable to bear and ignore the tension between us. “Ryan,” I start. “I really am sorry I—“

“Save it,” he cuts me short, his eyes trailing to me. He looks down at me, his eyes cold and unfeeling.

I frown, jaw clenching. "For how long will you keep ignoring me? I have apologized to you. Again and again. Explained why I did that. Apologized some more. What would you have had me do--"

"Fucking trust me!" he yells and I jerk, startled by the rise in his tone. He turns away from me sharply. "You do not understand what it felt like, standing there and seeing your things packed up; knowing that if I had been a few minutes late...or if I hadn't skipped overtime to have dinner with you, I would have missed you leaving me again."

"And I'm sorry. I really am," I whisper, inching closer to him and peering deeply in his beautiful eyes.

He peers down at me for a moment and just when I start to see the glacial surface crack, he looks away, backing up from me. "I'm returning to LA." There is a slight pause in which I start to panic before he adds, "My parents wish to meet Ash. And you."

His words drop on me like a bomb, and it takes me several seconds to process them. We are going to meet his parents? I feel nausea, poking at my stomach. I am not ready to meet them or return there. I bite the inside of my cheek, silently panicking. If I were to refuse, would he still take Ash with him? Definitely. He will not leave here without his son.

Despite my fear, I say, “When are we leaving?”

“Tomorrow,” he replies, plainly.

"Tomorrow?!"

He looks at me, deadpan, and I start to fidget. Tomorrow? Too soon to prepare myself to meet his parents. To prepare Ash for this meeting. To explain to him what might lie ahead.

"There is nothing to worry about, Amber. I'll handle everything," Ryan says, as if reading my thoughts and I believe he will. I loosen a breath and smile a little.

He doesn't return it. Instead, he takes a few steps back and gives me, one last lingering look before walking out of the library, leaving unease spreading in my chest.

***

I steal a glance at Ryan who's looking out the window at the clouds beyond, a deep frown etched on his face. Ash reaches for him and I tug him closer when he nearly falls off my lap. He cooes, pulling on Ryan's sleeve and the easy smile that teases Ryan's lips as he takes Ash in his arms has to be the best thing in the world for me.

I reach forward to adjust Ash's collar, but Ryan has the same idea because our fingers touch the fabric at the same time and the heat from his fingers has me melting. For a moment, he holds my gaze and his eyes drop to my lips.

My tongue darts out to wet it on reflex and his pupils dilate.

Ash's smaller hands land on ours, causing us to peer down at him. To me, he says, grinning, "Mommy."

To Ryan he says, "Daddy."

I pull back swiftly, turning away to hide the tears that sprang to my eyes at the mention of the word. Ash chatters away excitedly for most of the trip, having Ryan answer his questions.

***

Hours later, the plane finally lands in Los Angeles, and we gather our bags before heading to a nearby hotel. Ryan takes charge of the booking process, and I watch as he requests two separate rooms.

Annoyance flashes within me, coupled with irritation but I shove it down. Let him do whatever pleases him. I'm done trying to work through our issues if he isn't even willing to take any steps and prefers to stay apart.

The receptionist hands us key cards and we make our way to the top floor and towards the rooms assigned to us. I enter my room with Ash, and he is jumping around, his eyes darting everywhere.

I flop down on the soft king sized bed and take a moment to process everything. Just as I get lost in my thoughts, a knock on the door pulls me away from my reverie.

I walk to the door, cracking it open and my heart almost leaps from my throat when I see Ryan, towering over me.

“Here,” he says, holding out a bag from a high-end clothier. “I got you something to wear. We’re going to my parents’ house in an hour. I'll get Ash ready."

I take the bag from him, feeling a mix of confusion and excitement. Ryan disappears as quickly as he arrived.

Of course, he’s still mad at me.

I decide to inspect the contents of the bag, and Inside, I find a beautiful dress made of soft, flowy fabric. It’s a deep shade of blue, and it has a delicate lace pattern along the neckline and sleeves. There’s also a pair of sparkling earrings and a matching necklace, as well as a pair of high-heeled shoes. It looks expensive, way too expensive, and when I search for the price tag, I find none. Typical Ryan.

As I examine the jewelry and shoes, I notice a small box at the bottom of the bag. I open it, and my heart skips a beat as I see a stunning ring. I am struck by its simple beauty. The band is delicate and made of silver, with a small, round diamond set in the center. The stone sparkles in the light, catching my eye and drawing me in. A little too much for a meeting, don't you think?

I don't let myself consider it much and I slip it on my finger. It fits loosely on my index finger...and the others, fitting snugly only on my ring finger.

I quickly slip on the dress and the jewelry, feeling a bit self-conscious in the fancy outfit. But as I look at myself in the mirror, I can’t help but feel a sense of excitement. The dress is stunning, and the jewelry adds just the right amount of sparkle.

As I’m admiring myself, Ryan walks into the room, dressed in a suit and tie. He doesn’t say anything, but I can see a hint of a smile on his face as he looks at me.

“Are you ready?” he asks, and I laugh when Ash appears in the doorway, wearing a matching blue tux like Ryan's. He looks brilliant, dashing like his father, but he seems to be more interested in picking out the button from his jacket.

I take a deep breath and nod, feeling a mix of nerves and anticipation. We make our way out of the hotel and into a waiting car that takes us to Ryan’s parents’ house.

***

As we approach, I can’t help but feel a sense of awe. The mansion is sprawling, with white columns and a grand entrance. The landscaping is immaculate, with perfectly manicured lawns and flower beds bursting with color.

Ryan and I walk up to the large double doors and I immediately hear the sound of music playing from within. Is there a party going on in there? I feel Ryan’s fingers interlock with mine and I flinch. He does not say a word, as we walk through the doors. My heart drops as I gaze at the scene before me.

There are people everywhere, dressed in fancy outfits and sipping drinks. The room is filled with laughter and chatter, and I can smell the delicious aroma of food wafting from the kitchen. Ryan holds my hand tightly and we make our way through the crowd that seems to be watching our every step and into a large living room. He takes me to a man, and a woman, who are sitting on the large sofa. Beside them is a familiar, annoying face and the moment our eyes meet, he flashes us a smug smile.

Of course Jasper was going to be here.

Ryan's grip turns near painful on my hand as he ushers me forward toward the couple who stare me down with disapproval.

And for a moment, my world stops when he says, “Mother, Father. This is Amber Jean, my fiancee.”