A lot of things happened in a year. My brother is now married to his long-time girlfriend and I met Kairus.
This is my second chance, and second life. I’ve been living with this heart quite long, and the heart has been resting to me.
I can imagine every stairs we take, hear every breath, and his hear beat. My eyes is closed and my heart listen it all. He was so gentle of walking. He was so gentle not to wake me up. He hold me tight like I a glass.
As soon as I heard the door creak, he was slowly putting me to bed. I tightly clutched my hand. I desperately wanted to hold him, but I was running out of time. I can’t hold him this time.
That night, I had no sleep. I was sobbing out in silence out of frustration due to the pain till it put me to sleep.
I opened my eyes and found my brother sitting next to me. I still haven't let him know that I'm awake. His eyes is close and rests his head on his arms.
He was surely watching me for that long like when we were young. My gaze shifted to his lower body, where a blanket was wrapped around him.
It made me smile. it's been a while since I've seen him next to me like this. I moved my hand, so it's not surprising that he opened his eyes right away.
After initially being shocked, he smiled as I reached for his arms. "Thank God, you are awake now," he said as he grinned at me.
I offered him a flimsy smile. I'm worn out and tired. I disregard the pain and I offer a genuinely smile.
"I spent an hour sleeping only.” I said remembering the Christmas celebration we had yesterday. I smiled. “No need to freak out.
He shook his head. "You're two days asleep," he mumbled as his shoulder fell.
My eyes moved behind the clock. As I saw the clock stop ticking, my shoulder sank. Is it already broken? Damage? Die?
“Where are you going by the way?” I asked when I noticed that he was wearing unusual outfit. Just causal shirt and jeans. He gazed at himself while grinning.
“I just arrived.” He whispered. I looked at him. “I met my old friend.”
“Who?” I asked. I know his friends, and maybe I will remember it.
“He's not in my circle of friends, so I think you're not familiar with him, he replied. I nodded, and I think it’s not that important since if it is, then he will share it quickly to me.
“Are you thirsty or hungry?”
Am I? Apart than chasing after oxygen and labored breathing, I feel nothing. I'm pleased my physical health deceived them because I still look fine.
I purse my lips and look down at my pale skin. I worry about my family and closest friends.
“Did anyone know?” I asked. I don't need to give a detailed explanation because he already got it. He understood it.
My brother shook his head. “"I told them that you took a vacation elsewhere.”
I smiled. I'm glad my brother is beginning to speak about it, and it means that he’s letting it inside of his mind about this reality.
“How about our parents? Dad and Mom?” I’ve been so selfish of not seeing them around. If I could just have all the time.
“You knew the answer.”
I sighed. I know. They are in pain, sad and frustrated with the situation.
I wanted to ask about Kairus, but I stopped myself. I should stop thinking about him. I don't want to think about him because every time I do, my life and my heart start to hope. It seems as though he wants me to live or maybe not, maybe it’s me …it could just be me wanting to see him more.
“Hope texted me.” My brother uttered, and I quickly darted my eyes to him. I see hope in his eyes. I don’t want him to be a bad person, and a bad man to save me.
“What did she say? Don’t disturb her about heart and life, Drew…”
He chuckled bitterly. “How I wish I were a horrible guy.”
I grinned and patted his cheeks with my palms. He’s a strong man then why does he have to be weak and vulnerable like this?
I gave him a serious look. “It's all right,” I reassured him. He tried to smile as his eyes began to water. "It's okay. If I only go this far, I'm okay. Just handle things like though we were on a road. As the stop signal became green, we stopped, but when it turned red, we kept moving.”
I cleared my throat. “Don’t tell them that I’m here. I don’t want them to know that I’m here-
“They will surely visit your room.” He cut me off. I almost forget about it. “There’s a spare room beside my office in the third floor.” He said. You can have it.”
I closed my eyes when I feel something digging inside my heart.
“Aim, baby, breath.” My brother whispered. I nodded and hid myself to the pillow. I turned around and my face crumpled. I tried to calm but it’s hurt like hell.
We’ve waited minutes until I became better. I peeked my brother, and he was watching me painfully. My pain is ten times than his right now.
I smiled and slowly clapped my hand. “If that occur again. Don’t panic. Let me taste that pain, okay?”
He didn’t respond. He sighed and stood up. He went to my window and messed his hair. I watched him miserably but it got worse when he started cursing, and punching my cement wall.
I bit my lip and closed my eyes. it’s so heavy for me but it’s heavier for him to see me like this, and it’s heaviest for me to see him reacted this way.
I tried to get up from my bed. I stood up and slowly walks toward my brother.
He just need to accept it. If he won’t this will kills him entirely.
“D-drew…don’t make me feel bad.” I whispered weakly. “You know what why I don’t blame or cry too much? Because I don’t want to feel bad about myself. I don’t want to hate myself. I don’t want to blame myself. Situation like this is normal.”
“I-I know…I…I just couldn’t understand why it has to be you.”
I smiled, peacefully. I stare the sky.
“I need reason. I want reason too but I’ve been living enough and I think I don’t need to ask. I’m happy despite this illness.”
“You don’t want to ask my heart?” my brother asked that made me laugh, softly.
“Don’t be heartless, Andrew Anderson.” I went closer to him, and hugged him. “Please accept this…”I begged. “Please accept my fate.”
I frowned when I heard the noise of the door. My brother glance at it as well.
“It must be Kelsey.” I whispered. “I’ll just hide in the cr.” I said. My brother wiped the tears on his eyes. He composed himself and I slowly went to the cr.
I heard the door opened. I closed my eyes and hold my heart.
“What you doing here?” I frowned when I heard my brother’s cold tone.
“My sister is not here-
“I know.” My eyes widened to hear Kairus. “I’m here to get something. Your little sister borrowed something to me.”
Borrowed? I never remember that borrow something from him.
“I’ll just get something here. I won’t take long. Where did she go by the way? To your parents? Would she stay long there or she will come back…hmm… a week?”