Chapter 33 - Luna Rivera

***Confusions and cracks.***

It's been a while since Kim's wedding and it was beautiful! She was radiant and of course the girls and I were the bridesmaids, what made me nervous was that until that moment I didn't know who my date was, and after I found out, I almost gave up.

Adam was chosen to be her best man, my date and Romolo didn't like it very much, he even went back to Boston and that made me sad. Kim's brother asked me for forgiveness for what happened and Romolo told me that Adam called him, and they talked, he said he was very drunk and said things that weren't true.

I felt disappointed knowing that it was all a lie, that his words were not sincere and to this day I regret that. At the wedding I felt that his words were true, our dance, the moment that seemed like it was just the two of us there on that dance floor... I don't even know why I felt that way, I wouldn't leave Romolo and run into his arms, not really!

I come out of my reverie when I hear horns, the traffic light is green, and I head to my apartment.

•••••••∞•••••••

I open the door and go in, still with my hand on the doorknob my eyes widen, it's a mess. Some furniture is moved away, there are some beer bottles scattered around the room and the TV is on where a basketball game is being shown. I close the door and walk slowly to the armchair, placing my bag on top of it, when I look into the hallway I see Romolo standing there looking at me, his eyes are red, his hair is messy.

“Hey!” I say apprehensively, especially because he has never looked at me like that. “Yeah… what happened here, Romolo?” He takes a step towards me, and I hold my breath. “Are you well?” I question in a whisper and get a little closer to him; I'm worried because I've never seen him like this.

He approaches me, raises his hand, startling me, and I take a few steps back.

“Hey! My love,” he says, getting closer, and I go further and further back, hitting my leg on the armchair, and I fall awkwardly on it. Romolo leans over, letting his face face mine, while he closes the passage, holding both sides of the armchair.

“There's no need to worry, I'm fine,” he caresses my face with his fingertips. “I'm just enjoying my day, and it's time for you to start enjoying it with me,” he says with his face closer to mine. I move further and further back, as if I wanted to get into the armchair to escape him, smelling alcohol. Even though I've taken a shower, the smell of booze is strong.

“Romolo, I…”

“Xiu!” he says, putting a finger on my lips, shutting me up. “I want you to answer something, but first…” he gets even closer and takes my lips in an intense kiss. I try to break away, but he holds the back of my neck, and I feel his fingers pull my hair, trapping me there. I start to push him, but I'm not strong enough, and I taste blood in my mouth. Right after, he bites my lower lip, and I moan into his mouth in pain, and he moves away. I put my hand over my mouth, touching it, and when I look at my fingers seeing blood, I look at him scared.

“What are you doing?” I say with my voice shaking.

“I want to know if he’s a better kisser than me?”

“What?” I ask, but, in truth, I am perplexed by your question.

“Don't act like an idiot, Lunna, answer me!” he says, and I see irritation in his words.

“Why are you like this, Romolo?”

“Answer me, Rivera! I want to know if his kiss is better than mine, is his company better than mine?”

“Romolo...”

“Answer me!” he screams, holding my arm and hurting me.

“No! I… you're hurting me, Romolo.”

“I want you to feel the pain I felt that night, I want you to feel like I felt at your little friend's wedding!”

“It wasn't my fault, Romolo, she already planned everything long before.”

“He told her that he wouldn't accept going in with him, that he wouldn't accept him there!”

“What are you saying? He is her brother.”

“Now will you defend him? I already understood everything; what he said then was true.”

“What? Romolo, stop!” I say, and he walks away. I get up trying to control myself; my legs are shaking, and never, in these 4 years of the relationship, has he treated me like that. I haven't even seen him like that.

“He said you only stayed with me because you love him. So it is true! That's why you haven't slept with me yet.”

“You are out of your mind, how can you say something like that! I opened my heart to you, I told you my fears and my traumas.”

“All of this is an excuse!” he says, walking from side to side and clenching his fists.

“Love! Stop, look at me.” I approach him, stopping him. I look into his eyes, and they are full of tears. “I love you. Adam means nothing! I chose to love you, and you can't think that about me,” I say, caressing his face.

He looks at me deeply starts to caress my face, comes closer, and kisses me. Our kiss is calm. I put my arms around his neck, and he hugs my waist. The kiss intensifies. He brings his hand to the back of my head, holding me. He picks me up in his lap and takes me to the bedroom.

My heart races. Everything inside me starts screaming that I shouldn't do this. He puts me on the floor, and his lips kiss my face, my neck, and start to go down. His hands squeeze my waist to the point of being painful. He lifts my blouse, and his hand starts to slide down my belly and goes up.

**Memory...**

“Please, stop! I don't want to” I say begging him, tears running down my face.

“Stay still, princess, it will be quick.” Hernandez says, and I try to push him, but I can't...

**End of memory...**

“No!” I scream, pushing him, my heart is racing, tears run down my face. “I can't!”

I look at him and I can see anger, fear, and something else in his eyes that I can't identify.

“I'm sorry...” I say and run into the bathroom, lock myself in there, and start crying.

I'm not prepared for this, I don't think I ever will be. I don't know how much time has passed, but I decide to take a shower to see if at least the hot water will wash away these memories.

•••••••∞•••••••

After taking a long shower, I feel a little better. I leave the bathroom, go to the closet, and put on some warm clothes. I feel cold inside even though it's summer here in Boston. I leave the closet, and there is no one in the room. Some things are broken, the lamp is on the other side thrown on the floor near the door. I leave the room, and I don't see anyone in the living room or in the kitchen.

I feel really bad for doing what I did to him, but I can't. I don't have good memories, and it always bothers me. I take my cell phone and call Romolo. The cell phone rings, and he doesn't answer.

“Please, love, answer!” I try several times until the cell phone turns off. “He turned off the device so he wouldn't answer me.”

I throw my cell phone on the sofa and walk to the balcony, but I come back, pick up the device, and go to the balcony and sit down in the bungalow. I look at the city and wonder where he could have gone. I need to find a way or I won't lose him. I look at my phone and try again, but it's the same thing. It's off, and I leave a voicemail message.

“Baby, I… I'm sorry! Come home, let's talk, please,” I say and remain silent, waiting for the message to finish, and a sob is heard. My heart is tight, and fear eats at me.