Chapter 13: Big Sad

**Coal**

My heart constricted in my chest as I mentally replayed the conversation I had with Raegan after breakfast. She told me about her father dying, and her mother falling into the pits of grief leaving her and her older brother to raise themselves and their younger brother. She told me that when her dad died her mother was heavily pregnant, and they were accepted into a neighboring pack after the new Pack Alpha had been officially installed. When her mother gave birth she could hardly stand to look at the baby, or do much more than feed and bathe it, so Raegan and Morgan picked up the slack and took care of their family. By the time she was sixteen she still hadn't been taught a lot of basics about wolves. Her knowledge about our kind only went so deep, and part of me wanted to tear apart the pack that had taken her and her family in for leaving them so neglected. A pack Alpha never lets his pack suffer, and he let her go through a tough time while taking care of her whole family as a child without any guidance. Her mother also infuriated me with the information she gave me. My heart hurt for her losing her destined mate, even if she is a witch and doesn't feel it the same, he was her life partner and that had to have hurt, but she left her children without an elder to guide them. Specifically Raegan without an elder. Morgan was seventeen when her dad passed, and she told me that he had a different father than her and her youngest brother. He had already shifted and gone through the larger changes of being a werewolf but it was clear that he hadn't taught her much about being a wolf. I couldn't blame him for that though, he was a child too, and he was taking care of their family alongside her. He shouldn't have to father his sister just as she shouldn't have to mother her brothers.

I could imagine a fourteen year old Raegan with an infant in her arms and her hair askew as she tried desperately to mother it for her mother. The image had me gripping the bathroom counter harshly. No child should ever have to do that.

My wolf huffed his agreement, not liking that she had such crucial years of her childhood stolen from her because of a stupid fucking challenge for a stupid fucking title.

I scrubbed my hands down my face, and leaned against my bathroom sink to steady myself and pull in my anger. I wanted to travel through time and give her those years back. I seriously couldn't imagine the kind of sadness and anger that lived within her over having lost those years. Was she even aware that she'd lost them? Did she acknowledge how deeply things like that could cut a child?

I let out a heavy breath, and shook my head, trying to control the feelings bubbling in my chest.

I turned on the water and splashed my face with cold water a few times, and when that didn't help I cursed.

*Coal, Cassian insists that I can't beat him in an arm wrestling match. Care to join us to take bets?* Hannah asked me through our mind-link.

*Is he drunk?*

She paused.

*Yes.*

*I'll be down in five minutes,* I said and then grabbed my jacket, pulling it on before leaving my floor.

I found them in a tea room filled with other guests. They sat across from each other at a table, Hannah grinning like the cat who got the cream, and Cassian smirking like he stood a chance.

I grinned, and took off my jacket, tossing it onto a sofa before standing beside Hannah at the table.

"Cassian, you sure you want to do this?" I asked him, raising my brows.

He nodded, "oh yeah, I can take her." He slurred his words a little, and I chuckled. It was hardly late enough to be considered the afternoon and he was already plastered.

"Alright then," I looked to the wolves that were gathered around them and started taking bets. Jack, Hannah's mate, put an obscene amount of money on her winning, and Watson did the same. For Hannah. He gave Cassian a look of pity as he gave me the money to hold and Cassian's mouth dropped to the floor.

When everyone who wanted to place their bet placed a bet, I looked back to my two idiot best friends, and nodded for them to start.

They put their elbows up on the table and joined hands then pressed their opposite hand into the crook of their opponents elbow to hold them there. I slapped the table once, and they started to push on one another.

Cassian grunted as Hannah grinned.

"No backing out now, pretty boy," she said tauntingly.

Both of their biceps strained, and veins were popping out of Cassian's forehead as he put more effort into winning.

I pursed my lips and looked at Hannah. She didn't even look phased.

"Goddess!" Cassian gasped, "how are you so strong?"

"Just give in, Cass," she chuckled, "you're not going to win. I'm not even fighting back against you yet, and you're already sweating."

"Never," he glared at her, and strained more to try and win.

She chuckled again, and then licked her lips, and with one quick push she had his hand flat against the table.

He flushed red, and grinned.

"Damnit," he shook his head, still smiling. Hannah let go of his hand, and grinned widely as she threw her arms around her mate and kissed his face senselessly.

I dished out winnings and went to the sofa to sit down.

Cassian joined me, and leaned his head on my shoulder.

"You're totally plastered," I chuckled, patting the top of his head.

He nodded, "totally."

"How did you get this drunk this early in the day, dude?" I shook my head at him, smiling.

He looked up at me, his eyes wide, "*tequila.*"

I winced and sucked in a breath through my teeth, "yikes. I'll make sure you get something for your headache for breakfast in the morning."

He grinned up at me lazily, "you're so nice. You'd be a good boyfriend."

I furrowed my brows, and shook my head at him, completely amused by him. Drunk Cassian was always different than Sober Cassian. He was less filtered, but more charming because under that filter was just someone who was curious about the world and loved relentlessly.

"Hey, Watson?" I called over my shoulder, locating his mate, "your mate is flirting with me again."

Watson made his way over to us, "well one of us has to do the wooing while the other makes money. How else would we take care of our boy toy?" He leaned against the back of the sofa, smiling at me.

I flushed, and rolled my eyes, "goddess, you guys are going to give me a heart attack with all this flirting. I have a mate, you know?" I raised my eyebrows at him, trying to hide that I was actually effected by his flirty behavior.

"I don't see her here," Cassian said, pulling his head off my shoulder. He looked back to his mate, "do you?"

Watson looked around the room, "no, no I don't."

"Oh shut up," I folded my arms over my chest, rolling my eyes again.

"Speaking of her," Watson swung himself over the back of the sofa to sit on the other side of Cassian. He took Cass' hand in his and gestured for his mate to lean on his shoulder, "where *is* she?"

I shrugged, "I haven't asked the guards where she went after breakfast, but she has them with her, so I'm trying not to worry."

"And you guys still aren't telling people?"

"I'm not going to tell a single soul until she tells me it's okay," I said with a low growl.

"Down boy," Watson narrowed his eyes at me, "it was a question."

I huffed, and leaned against the arm rest, pulling my legs up to lay them across Cass and Watson's laps.

"Woah, woah, buddy," Watson flicked my ankle, "no shoes on the couch."

"They're not on the couch," I grinned, "they're on you."

"What if Carl saw this?" He raised his brows, grinning.

Cassian chuckled.

I glared at both of them.

"You wouldn't dare," I said, folding my arms over my chest.

Watson chuckled, "oh but I would."

I sat still, daring him to try it, but then he opened his mouth and I swung my legs off of them and got to my feet. "Snitch," I said while walking away from them. They both laughed.

As I made my way to Hannah, the door to the tearoom opened, and in walked the guards I'd assigned to Raegan. I looked between them, and couldn't see her, so I narrowed my eyes at them, and they hung their heads as they approached me.

"What is it?" I asked quietly, my wolf started to get to his feet in my mind, alert at the feeling of my anxiety vibrating through my body.

Marie looked down at her feet, and Jordan shoved her gently, a scowl on his face. They looked like a bunch of pups getting reprimanded by their father. Marie hissed, and shoved Kate beside her. Kate shook her head, and together the three of them looked to Forty. He glared and then rolled his eyes before looking up at me.

"Your Majesty," he greeted. The four of them bowed their heads in unison.

"Where is Miss Martin?" I folded my arms over my chest, scrutinizing them as they shifted uncomfortably.

"Marie lost a bet with her," Kate said quickly.

"Kate!" Marie gaped at her.

"Snitch," Jordan snickered.

"Answer the question," I said, growing irritated.

"We... we aren't sure." Forty said finally.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, "what do you mean 'you aren't sure'?"

"As Kate said," Jordan cleared his throat, "Marie lost a bet to Raeg-- Miss Martin, but! Liam is still with her, so she's got one of us!" Jordan smiled helplessly, clearly hoping that would ease the sting of my mate wandering my palace without protection.