Chapter 12: But lies do Sometimes

**Raegan**

I laid my head down on the bench and closed my eyes, letting the Sun wash over me and lick every inch of my exposed skin.

I sighed contentedly and placed my hands on my stomach. I could hear the morning mountain sounds. Birds chirpping, wind rustling, and the crunch of twigs and dead plants and leaves as they were walked over by the critters of the wild.

A small smile started to play on my lips, and then I realized, I shouldn't be able to hear anything but the birds chirping from how far from the tree line I was.

My eyes shot open and I lurched up into a sitting position.

"Is everything alright, miss?" A guard asked me.

I ran my hands down my face and swung my legs off of the bench, putting my head in between my knees to try and steady myself. Anxiety ripped through my body as I searched my mental space for my wolf.

She was sitting quietly in her corner, with nothing preventing her from speaking to me. I walked towards her nervously, and she tilted her head to the side as she watched me.

*You're not going to try and shift, are you?* I asked her softly, narrowing my eyes.

She rolled her eyes at me, and without opening her massive maw she spoke, *as if I could shift with you fully awake and preventing me without any distractions.*

I let out a breath, but didn't let my guard down as I inspected her body language like my life depended on it.

*I'm going to bind you again.*

*You'd better do it soon then,* she laid down, and rested her head on her massive paws, *because I'm not feeling so tired anymore, and I'm pissed as hell.*

I clenched my jaw, and went to respond, but a guard's voice sounded.

"His Majesty the King is on his way out here, miss," he said then cleared his throat softly.

"What?" I lifted my head and opened my eyes, looking at the guard who spoke, "why?"

The guards all exchanged a look, but no one spoke.

"Why is he coming out here?" I snapped.

They averted their gazes back to outside of the little bubble they created for me.

I huffed, and laid back down on the bench, "fine. Keep your secrets then." I muttered and propped one leg up on the armrest across from me, and bent the other one and leaned the knee and thigh on that one against the backrest.

I closed my eyes, and let the Sun wash over me once more, making a mental note to bind my wolf before I went to bed tonight. I sighed at the thought of the ritual, and draped my forearm over my eyes as a frown took over my face.

I'd been doing said ritual every year around my birthday since I was sixteen, until I turned nineteen and she stopped trying to shift. Last night she made herself known in a way she hadn't since I was nineteen, and it scared the shit out of me. Four years of practical radio silence from her end had me feeling less like a werewolf everyday, and I liked it that way. I didn't want to shift, and that's what her presence meant. It meant that I had to shift. Since my dad died... I couldn't bring myself to do it. I couldn't bring myself to go through such a massive change virtually all alone. Though, I supposed, I wasn't really on my own anymore. Morgan wouldn't let me go through it alone. Neither would Jayce, my stepfather. But then again, I never told them that I've never shifted. If she was pissed though, she would make sure we shifted, and that we shifted soon.

My heart raced at the idea of my bones breaking and re-arranging themselves to take a different form entirely.

She snickered at me in the back of my mind, and I frowned even deeper.

I would have to bind her. If I didn't I risked shifting with a wolf who has been pent up with no stretching room for the past seven years. I made a mental note to talk to Morgan about it, and maybe tell him officially that I never have.

*If you bind me again, human,* my wolf whispered, *I'll make sure the first shift kills you.*

I froze in place, feeling like maybe I had hallucinated her words, but as she laughed I knew I hadn't.

So it was either bind her until I was ready and die when we shifted, or risk the threat of shifting when she was a little... feral.

"What has a frown on your lips, Raegan?" A deep voice said, and I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound, immediately falling to the patio ground face first.

"Shit!" I snarled, and heard a laugh as hands wrapped around my arms and helped me to my feet with tingles and fireworks erupting where his hands made contact with my skin. When I was on my feet I shoved him away from me and glared at him, "you scared the hell out of me!" I scoffed.

He had a grin on his face and his head tilted back in laughter.

"Asshole," I huffed, and sat back down on the bench. He pursed his lips to stop his laughing, and sat down next to me.

"Sorry," he chuckled, "it was funny, but it wasn't polite to laugh."

"Damn straight it wasn't!" I crossed my arms over my chest.

When I looked up at the guards, they all looked incredibly amused.

"Nuh-uh!" I said, wagging my finger at them as I looked in between each of them, "none of you warned me he was there! You don't get to think it's funny! Traitors," I scrunched my nose and they all smiled, nudging each other's shoulders gently as they exchanged looks.

The King chuckled again, and took my hand into his to start tracing the lines on my palm with his index finger.

My breath hitched at the tingling feeling that went everywhere his hands did.

"So, what had you frowning when I got here, Raegan?" He asked softly.

I was so taken by the tingles that I hadn't fully registered his question so I just responded with, "mhm."

He chuckled, "Raegan," he repeated.

"Mmm, yeah?" I asked, unintentionally leaning my head against his shoulder.

"I asked why you were upset," he said.

"Yeah, sounds good to me," I responded absently.

"As much as I love the effect I have on you, I'm trying to ask you a question and this isn't helping foster a conversation," he whispered, and let go of my hand, setting it back in my lap.

I pouted, "hey, why'd you stop?" I looked up at him.

"Because I asked a question and touching you was making it hard for you to respond," he said with a smile. "Now, let's try again. What had you upset when I got here?"

I pulled away from his side, and crossed my legs underneath me, laying my head back against the backrest. "Nothing."

He gave me a look, and I sighed, "really, it's not a big deal. And it's not anything to do with anyone else but me and the big guy," I tapped my temple.

"The big guy?" He raised an eyebrow.

"The thing living up here," I tapped my temple again.

He tilted his head to the side, "your wolf?"

I nodded, "yep."

"You call your wolf the Big Guy?" He snorted.

I narrowed my eyes at him, "well I can't just call her 'wolf'. That's dehumanizing."

"Raegan," he raised his eyebrows and smiled, "you do realize that she is in fact, not a human, and is a wolf."

"Yeah, of course, but it's not like she isn't sentient. She talks, and has her own thoughts, and feelings," I shuddered. If she wanted to she could replace me in my own head. She's experienced everything I have. All she'd have to do is fight me hard enough or get someone to mark us while she was at the front without us having shifted before. She was feral, yes, but she wasn't a mindless creature. The thought that she could so easily swap places with me had me terrified, and had her laughing.

"What is it?" The King asked, "are you cold?" He scooted closer to me and wrapped his arm around me, sharing his warmth even though I wasn't cold.

"I'm fine," I said but didn't move away from him. The bond was working wonders for my nerves.

"Are you sure?" He squeezed me into his side.

I nodded.

He pursed his lips, and started to rub my shoulder, "I can feel your anxiety through the bond, Raegan," he whispered, "if you don't want to tell me what's really wrong, that's fine. I'm just concerned."

"You can feel what I'm feeling? I thought that you could only do that after you've been marked?" I furrowed my eyebrows.

"If you focus hard enough you can feel what I'm feeling too," he said softly, "and usually you only get that when you're marked but we're both ranked wolves. Things work different for us. The bond is stronger when there is an Alpha wolf in the pairing, not to mention an Alpha and a Beta."

"I've never been able to do that," I shook my head, and leaned my head back against his arm.

"Do what?"

"Tell people's ranking without asking someone what it is."

He chuckled, "it's in their scent, Raegan."

"It is?"

He nodded, "didn't your parents tell you about that?"

I shook my head, "no, my dad was the wolf in their relationship and he died when I was fifteen."